no hype this time

unlike the big spectacular that was a week long "new moon" fest leading up to a double feature of "twilight" then the midnight showing of "new moon", "eclipse" unfortunately isn't getting that attention. when my cousin kari came up to denver to see "new moon" she had also planned to be here for the premiere of "eclipse". but then we realized that the release date was right before a holiday weekend, and it just didn't work.
she's going camping with her family, and my parents are coming up here, so unfortunately for me there is no big production of me going to see "eclipse". and i'm a little bit sad about it now that the movie has officially come out.
i just re-re-read eclipse and am currently reading the short second life of bree tanner, and eclipse is my favorite book, and now the movie is out, and i haven't seen it! right about now it is kinda driving me crazy. i was almost half tempted to check it out tonight after the gym, but that just wasn't realistic. going in all sweaty, hungry, and still needing to clean up my house for my parents arrival tomorrow night. and then this weekend, my parents will be here, and we do have a movie in the agenda of things to do, but i highly doubt i can convince my parents to go see "eclipse". so i'm a little bit sad. so right now i have tentative plans to check it out monday night after my parents leave. i suppose waiting 5 days to see it won't kill me.

with all of that being said, reading eclipse for the 3rd time, i found some questions to ask about the book, along with some of the things i found while reading the first 30 pages of the short second life of bree tanner. stephenie meyer mentions that bree is the first newborn vampire that bella encounters. but technically isn't it riley? or is riley not classified as a newborn? with that, i found it interesting that stephenie does mention the killings that the newborns are creating in seattle, but nothing is every really mentioned about the disappearances of the newborns? is that because victoria is creating "stupid" vampires? ...people who won't be reported missing? just some random questions.
lets move to jacob. aww jacob. beautiful good for bella jacob. it really sucks how the end of eclipse goes by so quickly, that bella realizes her love for him, and then the book is done. anyways, where is jacob's mom? he has 2 older sisters, right? ...they are mentioned a couple of times. but i don't remember a mention of his mom. so i thought i would throw that out there.

...until Monday.

zumba 60min
579

small victories

more weight loss talk ahead. i realize that lately this is consuming my blog, and that's because lately weight loss has been consuming my life, my thinking, my whole being. ...well not really, but it does consume majority of what is going on around me.
i'm slowing becoming very proud of what i have done thus far in this journey.
that i am finally doing it. that i am finally putting all the talk into action.
that all of this work is (gasp!) paying off! it's weird because after working for so hard for so long and not really seeing any major results, and then to finally see results is just about takes my breath away.
one thing that i think is important about this journey is to document my progress. i unfortunately (or fortunately) didn't take any measurements of myself when i was at my heaviest so who knows how many inches i've lost and all of that type of stuff. ...they did take my measurements when i started slimgenics, but my journey started way before i begun that plan. so i will share what i know and what i'm comfortable with. at my heaviest i was a size 24 pant, i am now a size 16 pant! ...i'm pretty sure the last time i was a size 16 i was in middle school (seriously). i've gone from a XXL shirt or a 2x women's, to a size L or M. ...i bought a M size dress shirt last weekend at JCPenny that fits me perfectly.

last but not least, look at my face! ...the last time (late 2003) i lost some weight the first place i lost was in my face. this go round, my face took a little bit longer to get thinner. now that it is finally showing in my face, i love it!
lets compare:

June 2010

July 2007

i chose the above pic because it was taken almost exactly 3 years ago. and O M G, just look at the difference! i definitely consider that a big small victory!

treadmill 31min
50/50 60min
942

my gym friends

last night i went to a going away party for my friend Angel. Angel is an instructor at lifetime. she used to be the group fitness director which is how we got to know one another. i've really only taken 2 of her classes. she's an awesome awesome person, and i'm going to miss seeing her smiling face when she heads off to san diego to live on tuesday. i was super happy to be invited to this little get together. i got to meet some more lifetime people, sit, and chat and enjoy every one's company. the evening was truly perfect.

how crazy is it that i have friends from the gym?!

sarah, angel, and i

angel and i

sarah and i

sarah is another instructor at lifetime. she's freakin' hard core!, in a good way! she teaches STRIKE! and the MIXX. she knows how to dance, and is a great listener when i'm freakin' out!

i'm so thankful for my little circle of friends at the gym. it makes working out FUN! who would've thought working out could be FUN?! both of these girls are pretty much awesome is every way humanly possible. i'm going to miss Angel like crazy, and i'm looking forward to hanging out with Sarah as time goes by.

STRIKE! 60min
treadmill 20min
827

week 13: getting rid of all the crap

another successful week is behind me! i lost 5 pounds this week! i have noticed a strong pattern that the week after TOM i have a pretty drastic loss. which in all honesty kinda gives me something to look forward to when it comes to that TOM. right now i feel great. this was probably one of my easiest weeks. i have found different ways to satisfy my cravings, and it is good to recognize that. i usually get hungry right around 11am, but try my hardest not to eat lunch until 12:30pm, so rather than snacking, i'll get a cup of hot tea. and in the afternoon when i find myself wanting dessert i'll chew a piece of gum. obviously not the same, but it is the habit of the same. know what i mean? i'm still getting something. rather than nothing.
last night was hard. very rarely do i have any money on me when i go to the gym. mainly so i won't spend money, and lately so i won't go get fast food. but last night after i left the gym i had my debit card with me because i planned a stop to get gas. i had just worked out so i was hungry. i was having a conversation with my head that was trying to justify a trip to the drive thru. all the while i was trying to think what was in my house that i could eat. luckily i didn't cave. i went home and made myself a tuna sandwich!
i told that story to the lady at slimgenics this morning and she said that's good. the fact that you are having these cravings shows that your body is getting rid of it. getting rid of all the crap. so much of the food we eat is crap. the one thing i really like about this program is i can easily recognize what is good and what is bad. that majority of the foods that i eat are veggies. that i plan each one of my meals to have veggies.
i'm slowly becoming more comfortable in my new body. when i saw the number on the scale this morning, it almost doesn't seem real. that this is really happening. i can cross my legs underneath my desk! ...and yes believe me this is news, huge news! yesterday i got my eye brows waxed and laying on the table/bed thing, i had plenty of room to put my hands at my sides(which wasn't the case a couple months ago)! all these little things are changing, and it's weird. i wonder if i'll ever get used to it.
my workout today was a little bit different. i had an overly ambitious thought last week to try and get together a relay triathlon. well this particular triathlon is on 8/1 the day after my zumba certification class. and i was the only one who said i could do the 1/2 mile swim. and i think doing an open water swim at 7:30am the day after an all day training, just isn't going to happen. so today at the gym i attempted to do this 1/2 mile swim (35 lenghts of the pool) and i would say i did a little bit more than half before i gave up. i swam for about 25 minutes, going back and forth between the freestyle and the breast stroke. i honestly can't tell you the last time i swam that much! i didn't wear my HRM in the pool, as i'm not too sure hot that works, so my calories lost just comes from my run. speaking of run. i'm definitely getting better at that. or to be more realistic jogging. i feel better, and can go further distances jogging, which i'm happy about!

treadmill 30min
swim 25min
346
-5lbs

The Places I've Been: ND

me, aaron, allison, ryan~march 2005

aaron and i inside the ND state capitol

Bismarck, North Dakota

sorry about the blurring pictures, they are pictures of pictures :)

so i knew the time would come for me to tell you about my road trip to north dakota. in order for me to tell you about this story i have to give you some background on my ex-boyfriend. aaron is my ex. we were together january 2004 to november 2005. he was my first serious boyfriend. he's originally from north dakota.
we drove to bismarck in march 2005 for his birthday. it was a great trip. the drive was about 8 hours, and it wasn't bad because we split it up. on the way there we stopped in black hills, SD. i remember driving up to his parents house, being so nervous. wanting his family to like me. i met his parents, one of his sisters, her boyfriend (now husband), and his grandparents on his dad's side. i immediately bonded with his mom, i love her!
we were there for 3 or 4 nights i think. we saw his best friends band gypsy foot play, along with a trip to the state capitol. did you know that the only 2 state capitol's that aren't a dome shape are north dakota and new mexico? weird coincidence.
cars there have a power outlet sticking out, so they can keep their cars plugged in at night so they don't freeze because it gets so cold there. i do remember it being cold, but not super cold. the only tall building in the city is the capitol building.
the trip was a lot of fun. it was great to see aaron in his home town, and hear his stories of growing up there. i really enjoyed the conversations i had with his mom and just hanging out. i'm glad aaron invited me to join him on this trip, as i will probably never go to north dakota again.
i still think highly of aaron and my relationship with him. so i'm glad i got to tell you a little bit about our time together, because for me it was and is still very significant.

treadmill 30min
elliptical 35min
arms
677

insider

i'm currently on a zumba high. similar to a runners high, except zumba. :) i've been wanting to share the details of what's going on with my zumba certification and tonight is the perfect night for just that. the actual certification class isn't until july 31st. it is an all day class, and i'm really looking forward to it. i know it will be a lot of hard work, and a lot of fun. a couple of weeks ago i spoke to emily (the group fitness director) and let her know that i was officially signed up to become certified and she invited me to participate at some auditions they were having tonight. so tonight i attended as about 7 instructors tried out to become new lifetime fitness instructors. emily introduced me to the group as a "super member" of the club, and that it is me they need to impress because i'm the member that will be actually attending these classes. if felt awesome to be involved with the whole process. get to observe and be an insider. i'm really excited to see where all of this will lead me. it is all still so foreign. that i have this whole circle of friends from the gym. it truly is like a whole other life. a whole new life that i have created for myself. it's all so new. so in addition to my 60 minute zumba class i did an additional 30 to 45 minutes but i didn't keep my heart rate up consistently so that's not included in my workout.

zumba 60min
530

being addicted

that's me in the middle row, 2nd to last next to the teacher

recently during this journey i've found lots of specific weight loss blogs. and as i've stated my blog isn't specifically a weight loss blog, but losing weight is a huge part of my life right now, so it is bound to come up more frequently as a subject on my blog because of this life i am currently leading. with that said, this post is going to be about my thoughts on being overweight. with that said, this is a long post, FYI.



i've been overweight my entire life. above is a picture of me in kindergarten. i'm the only "chubby" girl in the photo. i hated PE as a child, doing anything active, i was always the last one to finish. i grew up in an unhealthy home, and am an only child. i did do numerous activities with my cousins Greg and Nikki growing up (we are closest in age) but that was pretty much it. my mom did the cooking in the house, and as much as i love her, her cooking talents were minimal. not only that, our meals very rarely had fruits and veggies. mixed with all of those factors i started at a very young age wanting love and approval from my father. growing up and even now as an adult receiving love and approval from my dad is not really shown. this has always been difficult for me, and what i believe is the root cause of my being overweight. mainly because who truly loves an overweight person? i think subconsciously in my head i was telling myself that my father didn't (doesn't) love me because i'm ugly (overweight). and if i lost weight and was pretty (thin) my dad still wouldn't love me, so what was the point? i've struggled with letting all of this out there. i've been mainly waiting until i was comfortable enough to be honest with myself to let this out, because the truth hurts. things are better now 100%, and i know my dad approves of me, is proud of me, and loves me. i just wish i could get it more often than what i do.

now that that's out in the open, lets move on. i was speaking to my cousin kari about this a couple of weeks ago. we both have our own personal struggles with weight so it is often a topic we discuss. and she mentioned OA-Overeaters Anonymous. that lead into addictions. their are many things a person can be addicted to. i think it safe to say that most bad addictions are illegal things. drugs of course being the main one. let me ask a question? when you are walking down the street do you know if someone is a drug addict?, or an alcoholic? no you don't. these people don't look any one way. but if you are walking down the street do you know if someone is overweight? yes. why? because you can see it. and i just think that is so unfair. because of this people make judgments without every knowing a person. i'll use myself as an example. do i look like a person who goes the gym 5 days a week (sometimes 6) and works out 6 - 8 hours a week? no. but we all i know that i do. but that doesn't mean people won't judge me when they see me. i'm sure some people still see me and think "she's lazy" or "she eats too much." etc... it is just so frustrating that people see me and can make a judgment about me, without knowing my story. but when you see a drug addict or an alcoholic those same prejudgments aren't made because their addictions don't have a physical side effect. because of these differences overweight people are poorly judged all the time. it just isn't fair. not too say that i want a drug addict to be judged, if this were a perfect world i would love to have people not judge overweight people or anyone for that matter. although i have to say i sometimes am that person who passes judgment. i'll see an overweight person and wonder why they aren't doing anything about it? same goes for people who have taken what i consider the "easy way out" by having surgery. i had a friend who had the surgery a little bit more than 2 years ago, and when she first got the surgery, i was jealous. so so jealous. she was finally losing her weight, and i wasn't. in fact around the time she had her surgery done, i was at my heaviest. so even though i hate being judged, in all honesty i'm still judging people. however, i do know that each person's story is different, and i'm learning from that.

moving on. so while talking with my cousin she made a very very good point. we need food to survive. food is everywhere. and ever since i started my new plan, majority of the food around us is bad. food is something we have to have, or else we will die of starvation. do people need alcohol or drugs to live, to survive, to breath? no. but people do it, and do die from it. i myself have never done an illegal drug, ever. not too say that their weren't times it was available to me, but i was told by my dad when i was in middle school: "april, don't do drugs." and well i'm scared crazy of my dad, so i listened to him. i suppose my point in this, is for people who are addicted to food, or trying to lose weight, or are watching what they eat, it is harder than if you were addicted to something else. illegal drugs aren't readily available on every street corner, like starbucks or mcdonalds. now of course i'll live if i never have starbucks or mcdonalds again, but i do need food to live. it just hurts that out of all the other addictions out there mine of being overweight is the one discriminated on the most. i suppose my whole point to all of this, when daily nutrients (food) are required to survive, it's really hard when food is the substance you are addicted to. i personally don't believe that i'm addicted to food, but while consciously being aware of the food around me, majority of it is bad. so although majority of the people say no to these temptations or give in only in moderation, when you are overweight it is super easy to say "why not?" especially if it is right in front of you. one habit that i have recently acquired is having something colorful on my plate at every meal. fruits, veggies, or both, bright colors on my plate are a good thing! now i know that other addictions can be just as hard to over come and i'm not trying to say that they are easy. i'm just using them in comparison to how i'm feeling during my own personal weight loss journey.

i suppose my whole point to this is that it isn't fair. that people judge overweight people. that they assume they are lazy. that our faults are physical, so that the whole world can see them. in general life isn't fair, and i get that. but this is just another mixture of feelings i wanted to share with you.

on another note, i officially passed my half way point to this years over achiever's goal of 247. i'm currently at 125 workouts this year and it isn't yet the end of june! i had a friend ask me recently if once i hit my goal if i'll continue going to the gym as much as i do. i immediately answered yes. although i have learned that what you eat is a huge part of losing weight, i believe that working out is the main part in maintaining weight. so i think continuing to workout once i reach my goal, will be a huge part in staying at my goal. in the future i can definitely see myself changing my workouts depending on my life. for example, if i start dating someone, and it becomes serious. or if i have kids. but i have a feeling i'll always at least get in 3 workouts a week regardless of my life, and what's going on in it. working out makes me sain and i'm a little bit addicted to the gym and working out at this point in my life so don't see that i'll ever stop going. and that's a good feeling to have!

elliptical 45min
treadmill 35min
670

jazz @ city park

tonight i met an old coworker, and his family at city park (this is the same park has the mother's day 5k) in denver to enjoy some jazz, bbq, bubbles, and good company. it was a fabulous night! it had been close to a year and half since i had last seen these friends, and it was a great setting to relax and catch up! ron and milena live literally right across the street from city park, so i plan on spending more sunday evenings in their company!

their beautiful daughter amaris playing with bubbles!

amaris wasn't too thrilled to be in the picture

denver water was there, with free cold water! yummy!

gotta love some live jazz!

oh the temptations! the denver cupcake truck was there.
i caved and the 4 of us shared the mocha mile-hi cupcake. it was goooooooood!

pretty city park

amaris is ticklish!

such a beautiful family! i'm so happy to know them.
ron, milena, and amaris.

milena and i

the kids loved the bubbles

last but not least: some wise words to live by:

STRIKE! 60min
628

week 12: passport needed?!

i have officially crossed into uncharted territory! never in my adult life have i been as "small" as i am right now. never. every number from here on out will be a number i've never experienced. isn't that so crazy to think about? it is super crazy to me. these are all numbers i plan on never being again. that in itself feels great. this is a place i plan on staying at for the rest of my life. so no, i won't need a passport, but a permanent residency. i think Healthy, USA officially has a population that now includes me! this foreign land will be foreign for a really long time, if not for forever, but the feeling of uncertainty is a welcome one compared to the feelings i have had leading up to this point.
my confidence went up this week because i did this week all on my own. i did go back into slimgenics today (last i had been in was on 6/8) and i gave my feedback from the previous week, they apologized and understood. the woman i met with was another new person, but she'll be permanently at my center, so that's good. and i really liked her. so today went very well. i had a 3 pound loss this week. the fact that i did it all on my own, and that i did it during the week leading up to that time of the month (TOM) i am very proud of myself. it is so interesting when you are really watching what you are eating and your eating habits, what you find. wednesday, which was my worse PMS day was a little out of control. i wanted chocolate. that's all i wanted. i craved it. it was weird. i did have a few (ok 5) chocolate kisses, which was a bit crazy for me, but then i did awesome yesterday! i still say, everything in moderation!
i had a goal in mind for when i leave to rhode island next month. but because of my two really slow weeks earlier this month, i don't think i'm going to reach that goal. but that's ok. starting today people have never seen a "thinner" april, and that's a great feeling!
i do want to mention people's reactions. mainly just to have it documented, so i can remember it once this journey is complete. i get compliments everyday. included are: "wow, you look great." "you are a skinny minnie." "you're the incredible shrinking april." "every time i see you, you are smaller." this past week this woman in the break room at work whom i don't know, said "are you on a diet? what are you doing?" another day in the break room a man that i don't know said "i hope you don't mind me saying something, but you've lost a lot of weight, haven't you?" is it weird that the compliments that come from people that i don't know mean the most? because i know it has to take some courage to actually say something, because it is a touchy subject. but it feels good. and those compliments definitely help motivate me.
another subject is clothes. just about all my clothes are uncomfortably too big. how weird is that? plus i feel like when i wear my clothes that are too big, they make me look bigger than what i actually am. when i wear something that truly fits me, those are the days i get the most compliments. my jeans are especially too big. to wear a pair of jeans and to have to basically hold them up all the time, is so uncomfortable. but i haven't decided when i want to go shopping yet. i know that i need to. but i'm going to keep on losing, so i hate to spend money on clothes that will only last me another couple months or so.
it's a good problem to have, i'm not complaining, i'm just sayin'.
one more thing. i have an addition to my blog. if you scroll down all the way to the very bottom, you'll see i added a ticker to track my weight loss. it's a good reminder for me of the big picture, what i'm striving for, and what i've done. i'll update it every saturday.

outside jog/walk 5.6mi 85min
876
-3lbs

Currently I am...

via*

...missing her parents in Germany. I don't think I have ever missed them this much while out on vacation.

...trying super hard to only drink 80 ounces of water a day. I usually drink a lot more than that.

...really looking forward to the return of 90* weather.

...sending many prayers to my friend who is about to have her 2nd baby any.day.now.

...wishing a happy 1st birthday to Ilianna!

...in countdown mode for her vacation to rhode island!

...thinking about doing a month's worth of blog posts that are pictures only.

...wondering what everyone thinks of my new layout? nobody has said anything. that makes me think it isn't good. honestly i'm not too wild about it, and will probably be changing it again in the near future.

...crushing on the new marketing guy at work, who might be gay, oh well.

...excited to see my parents over the 4th of July holiday.

...trying not to think too much about the dream i had last night. i got laid off, it was more of a nightmare than a dream.

...charging my IPOD for tomorrow mornings workout outside!

...cooling off with the air conditioner on!

treadmill 30min
dance jam 60min
813

all kinds of crazy

last monday on the bus we got into downtown
and half way through an intersection
about 3 blocks from my stop. and the bus
stalled.
the bus driver said
"well folks, looks like we aren't going anywhere."

********

so obviously i have no idea what is going on with my blog.
ever since that "design" thing came out, i've been playing with it.
the layout will most likely change again,
because i just can't find something that i love.
and since i love my blog, i need to find a
layout style that i love.
suggestions welcomed.

********

i think knees
are gross.
i'm not too sure why,
i just do.

********

i have this really weird blister on my toe
right next to my toenail.

********

i got a fancy new 22inch monitor at work!
it is good to know people in high places.

********

because of me my friend
sarah started a blog!
she's isn't quite ready to share it.
but i just think that's the coolest thing ever.

********

even though it has been in the 80's and 90's this week,
i have to bring my jacket to work.
because my office is freezing.

********

"california gurls" by katy perry
is a good summer song, i get it, it do.
but i'm sick of it already.

********

i'm going to lilith fair!

********

today in STRIKE! i went from the 6 pound bar
to the 9 pound bar.
i've been mentally preparing myself for this
since january.
i'm glad i finally did it!

********

because of my new hot water heater.
my hot water is hot like fire!

********

STRIKE! 60min
721

book review

book review
the justice
by angela hunt

i got this book while i was browsing at the library during my last visit. i got this book because of the political twist that came with it, and because it was different. ...i don't think i had ever read a political book. one thing that i didn't really like about this book is that it felt like it took me forever to read. and because of that it just kinda dragged, but not because of the book, because of my lack of fast reading skills.

overall i did like this book and would recommend it. for the most part it was easy to read. the author did use a lot of the white house acronyms which were hard to follow. POTUS (president of the United States) is one them and i remember that one because it's easy to remember. i really enjoyed the beginning of this book because the story line gets started right away. their was no big long introduction of the characters, and irrelevant details. the fact-paced beginning set the tone for the rest of the story which i appreciated.
the story takes place is 2004 with our first ever female vice president who becomes the first ever female president because the president passes away. daryn austin comes from a political family, single, and whose roll as VP was minimal. when she is awoken in the early hours to hear of the presidents emergency room visit, a few hours later she is sworn into the presidency. growing up as the governor's daughter she has seen the political lime light, and immediately creates 2 persona's. the political one and the private one. upon her roll she invites her college beau to be a lawyer on her law team. paul santana is a puerto rican lawyer living in miami with his wife who is a breast cancer survivor, and college bound daughter. paul immediately says no to the president and her offer because paul feels that uprooting the family at this point in his life is unnecessary, and that his wife would never agree because of her closeness she has with her family that lives in miami. when paul tells his family about the idea they immediately agree that this an opportunity of a lifetime, and that he must take it. that the move will be temporary and when daryn austin is no longer president they'll return to miami.

this book is intertwined with love, suspense, religion, power, racism, and of course political drama. the author creates the story line of all these topics while keeping the reader interested in finding out what will happen next.

if you are looking for something a little bit different, i would suggest you read the justice.

zumba 60min
684

hot water heater: the details

long story ahead: for those of you that care, here are the details of what went down at my house yesterday afternoon and evening.

all things considering, the drama from yesterday could have gone much much worse. let me tell you about it.

my first clue was my hot water. i had noticed that throughout the past few weeks that my hot water to do my dishes and my hot water for my showers just wasn't lasting as long. as a single woman who owns a home, i thought my lack of hot water was no big deal. A.K.A. denial. in this roll of: single woman homeowner, denial and i are very close. if i think something is wrong with my house, i just try to forget out it. push it to the back of my head, tell myself it isn't that big of a deal, and hope that it will eventually go away. of course this train of thought never works out, but it doesn't mean that i don't try! :) lesson # 731 in owning a home: lack of hot water is a sign that your hot water heater is about to break.

lets go to the day of the event. so sunday's are my lazy day. i didn't get to the gym until 10:30am, had a nice workout. come home made breakfast (scrambled eggs with veggies!), chatted with my friend Tina on the phone. watched the session finale of "fresh meat II" and "fresh meat II: the reunion". eventually making my way upstairs at around 2:30pm to take a shower. from their i leisurely got ready, and logged onto the computer. i like to try and blog early on sunday's so i don't have to worry about posting before i go to bed, which is what i do during the work week. i had a few ideas in my head on topics to blog about, but decided to just put it off. at this point in time i go back downstairs with a load of laundry to do.

this is around 3:40pm. once i'm on the main level of my house i hear this spraying noise coming from down in the basement. i look down to my basement from the top of the stairs and on the carpet it looks like it is spotted with dust particles. i immediately freak out thinking it is gas, but their is no smell of gas. i put on my shoes and go downstairs, and when i take that step onto the carpet, i realize it is water. i go over to where the water is coming from and see it is the hot water heater. i see the emergency shut off knob for the hot water heater, but it is already turned as far to the right as it can go.

let the freak out begin, along with the phone calls.

once i turned off the main water supply to the house and the dripping stopped i ran back upstairs grabbed as many towels as i could while trying to stay cool calm and collected. when in reality, all i wanted to do was freak out and cry my eyes out. not because of possible damage or the cost, but because i knew that this mess wouldn't be something i could fix alone. having to reach out and ask for help is something i am not good at. during this whole mess the one person i've really wanted to talk to is my mom. and right now my parents are in germany, so speaking to them isn't an option, and just makes me feel even more alone.

i was(at still am) super grateful that jeremy was able to drop everything at home (including a wife in her 9th month of pregnancy) and come over to my house to find out what was wrong. once he arrived it took everything in me to not just break down and cry tears of gratitude. but i held it together for the most part, so i wouldn't freak him out. ...i'm sure the last thing he needed was an emotional friend of his wife's balling over in a stupor. once he left and the diagnosis was a new hot water heater more phone calls began.

i spoke to shaun who said that his cousin allan would be able to install a new hot water heater tonight, but that it would take them an hour and half to get to my place. ....shaun's family lives on the exact opposite side of town as me. by around this time it is after 5pm. thankfully there is a lowe's less than a mile from my house, and i call them to find out the price and to see if they have a 40 gallon hot water heater in stock. they do! and they are open until 8pm! double SCORE!

as i wait for shaun and allan to arrive i get the chance to take a few deep breathes and truly calm down, and realize everything is going to be ok.

once they arrive and come to the same conclusion that jeremy did we headed off to lowe's to make the big purchase. now i wasn't planning on spending $600 (that includes the hot water heater and supplies, install, and thank you dinner) yesterday. so some money was shifted around and i purchased a new hot water heater. allan did majority of the install and the work was completed by 9pm!

by this time i'm starving! ...last i had eaten was my scrambled eggs and veggies for breakfast at around 12noon. so i took allan and shaun out to dinner as a thank you.

my basement has a concrete floor and is unfinished so thankfully nothing really got damaged. all things considered it really could have been so much worse. so many things were in my favor yesterday afternoon! to have someone come and install this, and have me pay them quite minimally compared to what i would have had to pay, i know i got a heck of a deal and have nothing to complain about. not only that, but to have all of this happen all within the same afternoon, is quite amazing if you ask me.

when it comes down to it, i feel freakin' lucky, and loved. to know that i have some great friends out there, who can help me out when i am freakin' out, i am truly blessed.

i didn't get to bed last night until after 11pm (way past my usually bedtime of around 9:30pm), but such is life. i got a brand new hot water heater installed and got to visit with a great friend, and most importantly in this scenario i got to wake up and have an extra hot shower!

elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

not a fun day

just when i thought i had nothing to blog about today.
this is what happens...

a broken hot water heater!

see that circle thing on top of the hot water heater? water was spitting out of that. i'm pretty sure it was spitting water for a little bit more than an hour.

it is times like this when i hate being single, and i hate being alone. i hate it. what i hate even more is depending on another people. i know that life gives us scenarios like this so that we can reach out. but it is just something i don't like to do. the ER hot water nob was already turned off. so i had no idea what to do. my first call was to my friend sarah's house. no answer, left a frantic message. second call was to sarah's cell phone. again no answer, while leaving another frantic message she called me back. she put her husband jeremy on the phone. i sent him a picture (cell phones truly are amazing!) and he headed over. ...i felt so bad. this isn't the first time they have had to bail me out, and deal with me being emotional over this home-owner thing. so i truly thank God for them! third call was to my friend shaun who happens to be in town this weekend for a wedding. his family here is full of plumbers, and i knew he would be with them, so he helped me out. guided me to find and turn off the main water supply to my house. once that was turned off the dripping stopped. jeremy arrived and he determined:
yup i need a new hot water heater.
such is life.
and right now i really have to use the restroom, but i'm too scared to go!
more to come...

50/50 60min
treadmill 10min
760

week 11: a loss is a loss

i've had a very reflective week. on tuesday i went into slimgenics, and sat with someone new because the office was understaffed, so lately their have been people there that i'm not familiar with and they aren't familiar with me. ...for instance this one woman last week said "now we need to get you moving!" ...honestly it pissed me off, because she obviously didn't look at my workouts that i document on my food diary, nor did she even notice that i was in workout gear when she said that. i wanted to say "really? i would bet that i have worked out more than you have this entire year." i held my breath, but it just made me mad. don't judge a book by its cover, i may not look like i workout, but i workout a lot.
then on tuesday i spoke to another woman i hadn't met before, and at first she was very motivating. she kept making great points and really hyped me up. but then she kept talking, and she looked at all of my past weeks and commented on all of the times i've cheated. i was so frustrated. it was the past, and nothing i can do about it now. majority of the time you are in and out, on tuesday i was felt like i was sitting down listening to this woman lecture me for 30 minutes. i left there feeling defeated. not good. and i haven't gone back since. and i've let that time with that woman give me the reason to cheat this past week. if i can find a reason to cheat, i will find it. so honestly when i weighted myself at the gym this morning i was expecting a gain. i was pleasantly surprised to see i was a down a pound! obviously not a lot, but i will definitely take it after the week that i have had!

while reading one of the weight loss blogs i follow i got some good advice about motivation. basically it said it's up to me to motivate myself. this truly is a journey of one that i'm on. i'm going to compare it to being pregnant(something i have never been). when a woman is pregnant, she's the only one pregnant. she is the only one who knows what that feels like. nobody else. she can try to explain the feeling of having a growing baby inside of her, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to understand it. just how i can explain every single little detail of this journey to you, and really unless you have truly been in my shoes (which you haven't) you really don't know. yes, you'll be able to relate, of course anyone who has gained a few pounds can surely relate to my story. but that's just it, this is my story. just how like when you are pregnant it is your pregnancy. they say every pregnancy is different. as is true for every weight loss story, successful or not. i'm the only one who really knows what is going on. i'm the only one responsible for what it is that goes into my mouth, or how hard i push myself when i workout. it is up to me and only me to motivate myself to keep going.
yes, the money i spent should motivate me. yes, being healthy should motivate me. yes, wanting to feel good and feel comfortable should motivate me. yes, going clothes shopping should motivate me. yes, having the feeling of actually being thin, should motivate me. and yes on some level all of these things do motivate me on different levels. but what it comes down to, is i need to motivate me. because who am i doing this for? me. it really is all about me. yes i will return to slimgenics, because they do help with holding me accountable. but i need to take control of how my little "sessions" go because tuesday wasn't good for me at all. however, i also need to learn that if i don't get help exactly how i want it, that that's ok too. because, again it is up to me.

elliptical 45min
treadmill 35min
821
-1lbs

team outing

yesterday at work we had a team meeting followed by a team outing. i was really looking forward to this because 1. i planned and organized majority of it and 2. we were going to be spending the afternoon outside in the heat!

one thing that i truly appreciate about my boss is that she's very team oriented. i like to feel like i am part of a team and being on Jerri's team i have that feeling. i truly like all of my peers, and it was great to have a whole day to spend with them.

we spent the morning doing a training session on our various products followed by a book review my boss had all of us read: Outstanding! 47 Ways to make your Organization Exceptional by John G. Miller. This was a fun exercise because all of us got to share views of ourselves and our team. once we gave our review Jerri(the boss) each gave us a "magic wand". it really is the little details that do the most!

Jerri's direct reports

top row: Anitra and Alan
bottom row: Liz, Marlene, me, Cathy, Julie, and Wayne
(not pictured Teri, who is are one team member not located in Denver, she joined us via phone from Greenville, SC)

for the afternoon we traveled to coors field to watch the colorado rockies battle the houston astros (we lost 4-5). for this event we extended the invite to the rest of Jerri's team in colorado. we had a total of 30 people at the game, and it was so much fun. the weather was nice and hot, and the company was fabulous!

me, Jerri, Anitra

coors field

me, Carol, and Debi

Julie, Kevin, and Cathy

Wayne and Liz

Anitra and Jerri

their is definitely a bonding experience when you spend time with your co-workers outside of the work place, which is why i enjoy doing stuff like this. you get to see more personalities, people are relaxed, and plus it gets you out of the office! it was a great day!

treadmill 55min
520

question of the week:

i have a little bit of an issue, and i'm turning to you my blogging readers to find a fix!

question of the week:
********
how do you store/keep your spices?

i keep them in the cabinet above my stove and microwave...pictured below.
the problem with this set up is i have a lot of spices. and they are a pain to go through. while looking through all of the spices majority of them end up on the side of the stove because the spice i'm looking for is, of course is in the back behind all of the other spices.
i do have this spice holder that i got as a gift awhile ago, and it holds 7 spices.
this is where the rest of my spices go. not organized all about to fall out of cabinet because they are all squished to the edge.
this is the pile of spices i have taken out of the cabinet looking for the particular spice that was still in the cabinet.
...still looking, still more spices to go through.
it's a pain. it's high up and hard to look through. i need something that actually works.
so tell me:
********
how do you store/keep your spices?

treadmill 10min
zumba 60min
715

just looking NOT eating

so this post is a little bit weird for a couple of reasons. this is a post in honor of some pretty awesome wedding cakes.
here is why it is weird:
wedding - i'm currently not dating anyone, so the idea of a wedding for me is pretty far fetched.
cake - something i currently can't eat.

none the less doesn't mean that i don't want both, so why not put them together!? plus in all honesty i have many details of my wedding planned. ...when/if i ever get married, it'll be awesome!

i like this one because of the colors and the random patterns on both tiers

love the scrolling on this one, and the midnight purple color is gorgeous

i love this one because of the fresh flowers, not my color of choice but still beautiful

love the colors and the details of this one

love the square shape and the colorful gerber daisies

the last one shown comes from a grande finale. the awesome bakery in louisville. when/if i do get married this will be the place with the honor of providing me with my wedding cake!

elliptical 45min
treadmill 30min

colorado summer

the summer is officially here in colorado, and i love L O V E it! i'm much more of a warm weather girl than a cold weather girl. so the 4 months that colorado gets of warm weather, i eat it up and enjoy every minute! starting with yesterday. i lounged at the pool yesterday afternoon at my gym's outdoor pool, and it was so nice! taking a dip, cooling off, then sun tanning while reading my book. it was heaven! i even got a little color. some brown on my skin looks fabulous!
when i was younger i got dark, and not just dark, i would get dark fast! i could lay out once and be perfectly tan. as i've gotten older i've become fairer skinned, and tanning is a lot more difficult than what it once was. so if their is a sign of some hot sun i try to make it outside to soak it up.
as i was driving to the pool yesterday afternoon it was a little bit cloudy and little bit windy and only 80*. if i'm going to lay out i like it to be hot, like 90* plus hot. so i was a little discouraged, but by the time i got to the pool i could tell it was warmer. that's the one thing about colorado summers i don't like. they are so extreme. extreme rain, wind, hail, sun, cold, all of the above could happen all in the same day. sometimes all in the same hour. so i truly appreciated that the weather warmed up and i was able to enjoy my time poolside. last summer was a cool summer, and i'm hoping this summer is the opposite, so i enjoy the pool a little bit more.
if only i got a summer break and could be outside everyday! this whole adult having a full time job thing just seems to get in the way sometimes! :)

strike! 60min
642

week 10: ok

this week wasn't a great week, but it wasn't a bad week. it could have been better, it could have been worse. i have yet to create that pattern of "coasting" which is what i really want. i feel like until i establish that i won't feel 100% confident in myself. because right now all of these extremes are just too much. they are extremes, and that's not life. i want to create a healthy pattern of losing 3 or 4 pounds a week, create that happy medium. i hope to achieve that this month.
brand new month, brand new goals. my goal for june is to lose 15 pounds. i'm actually looking forward to this month because nothing is going on. i'm not going anywhere, and i'm not expecting any visitors. so this whole month i can focus on my weight loss without any major interruptions.
i also have to remember that i had a huge weight loss last week, and that my body is just trying to catch up to itself. that losing 8 pounds in one week isn't normal, and shouldn't be expected every week. this week i loss 2 pounds. which of course is a loss, and i'll definitely take it, but when you compare it 8 pounds. well their is no comparison. but then i think i loss 10 pounds in 2 weeks, and i think wow that's pretty amazing!
one thing i have found which is kinda weird. on the weeks i workout 5 days i lose more than on the weeks i workout 6 days. to me that doesn't quite make sense? but i like my weeks when i workout 6 days, so for now i'll keep it, because i don't workout 6 days a week every week.

speaking of working out, i had a fabulous workout this morning. i went back to the outdoor loop close to my neighborhood. it was perfect, a little breeze and not too hot. while jogging/walking around it i realized that there are little quarter mile markers, and learned that 1 loop is 1.4 miles. i decided to really push myself and did the loop 4 times(last time i only did it 3 times). 5.6 miles! this is the farthest i've ever gone, on a treadmill or outside! my last loop was definitely the hardest, and the slowest. i think i only jogged twice during that last loop, the rest was done walking. my feet started to hurt, and i really wanted some water. thankfully i had a nice cold water bottle waiting for me in my car. it was a great workout.

5.6mile walk/jog 85min
922
-2lbs

The Places I've Been: NC

Charlotte, North Carolina

I visited North Carolina for the first time last September to visit my friend Brisa and her family. It was a great trip, and this part of the country I hope to see more of, because it's part of the country that I have seen the least off. Their is just something about going "down South" and Southern food that is so enticing and very yummy. To read more about my trip to Charlotte click here.

treadmill 10min
dance jam 60min
elliptical 20min
875