Tuesday, November 30, 2010

the big move

a huge part of what i do, is doing what i'm told...although i suppose that is most jobs.
back at the beginning of the year it was announced that the lease for the building i work in is coming to an end, and that we'll be moving buildings to one that the company owns about 4 blocks away. well my VP and boss picked me to manage the move over to the new building. this has been a rather big project on my plate since about april of this year. and last monday we officially moved. now that the move is finally done a whole other set of problems and headaches have come my way.
the prep work for this move wasn't necessarily easy but because we started this project so many months prior to the actual move i was able to time everything out. it actually started out kinda fun. i got to pick out colors and accents because the building we moved into go a whole new makeover in preparation for our occupancy. it was a lot of fun being part of a team that got to decide that type of stuff. next was the creation of "the spreadsheet". a excel spreadsheet with all 57 qbpp employees moving to the new building, that i was(am) responsible for. creating the master spreadsheet was a bite time consuming but once i had everyone listed and something to actually work off of it wasn't that bad. and in the end i actually ended up working on the big master spreadsheet with all 110 employees that moved to the floor of where i now work.
the actual deadline for our move was a mess. and honestly not something i want to talk about, because it is done and over with. let me just say that we really only had 4 business days notice in regards to our actual move date. having it be last minute looked poorly on myself since i was(am) the messenger but it was at no fault of my own.
now that we have physically moved, it is such a headache because i am the point of contact. so everyone comes to me about everything. i don't mind it, and the fact that we moved during a holiday week was definitely in my favor, because i didn't have to deal with everyone all at the same time, because lots of people had last week off. i was truly afraid i would snap at someone who asked me a common sense type of question and that i would come across as unprofessional, but i kept myself in check...most of the time.
i'll be super happy once this big move is over and done and all the details have worked themselves out.
the new building
i will miss my old office with a window view
back to cubicle life
the old office
all in all the new space isn't that bad. our floor is newly remodeled and everything is brand new. what i don't like is i now have to take a different bus which no longer drops me off less that a block away and now that the bitter cold is coming in, walking more than half a block is not fun. but i will definitely enjoy the walk in the summer months. another dislike is the lack of convenience. the old building had a deli and convince store right inside. this new building has nothing. so the downside is if i want a snack or forget to pack a lunch i've got to go outside (again not fun in the cold) the upside to that is since i don't want to go outside, that forces me to plan my lunch and to not spend money.
barbell strength 60min

Sunday, November 28, 2010

another silpada party!

check out these pretty jewels...

oh yes, i'm throwing another silpada party! but you must act fast as it ends tomorrow 11/29 at 5pm! check out all of the pretty handmade jewelry on my friend tina's site. from their click on "Jewelry Catalog" to browse all of the gorgeous jewels.
....oh yeah and just in time for Christmas!!!
email me if you would like to place an order!
STRIKE! 60min

Saturday, November 27, 2010

more talk of change

so earlier this week i was thinking about the week ahead. a big move, a short week, a holiday, four days off, when it occurred to me that this week i was coming upon a rather large milestone. although i'm not too sure if milestone is the right word. maybe memory... a memory of life and the past five years.
what surprised me about this date is that it passed without me really thinking about it. i didn't get sad, i didn't cry. i thought about it earlier, and i thought about it today. but that's it. that right there shows me how i have grown. how i can look back at my relationship with aaron and smile.
i have been single for five years. it was thanksgiving 2005 when aaron and i broke up. thinking about that i can't help but think about my life over the past 5 years. about how much i have changed.
i bought a house, changed jobs, had low lows and high highs.
a huge part that i miss is being in a relationship. i'm good in a relationship. and although i am having fun right now actively dating i really desire that deep loving relationship.

more and more i'm coming to the realization that life happens, which creates change. just when it seems as though i can't ever get out of whatever current slump i am in, things happen. i am so happy that i have taken the sign of things happening around me, and creating the change that i want for myself. making short conversations into meaningful friendships, putting myself out there and doing something so simple as being present.
but then i think about why it is i've been single for the past five years. because that's a question that comes up when you start dating someone. i think if i were to answer that question open and honestly it would be something like this "well i was extremely depressed for the first 2 and half years, getting over my heart being broken. because i was depressed i was also very unhealthy...i didn't take care of myself mentally, emotionally, or physically. and so i was gross and unattractive, and guys don't like that. and then for the later 2 and half years i've spent time working on myself and being healthy. mentally, emotionally, and physically. and now that i've focused time and energy on myself i'm ready to date." of course i don't say that, but i want to. i've had two conversations with two guys where i told them i've lost 90 pounds. the first one was extremely hard and very emotional. the second time was a little bit easier. but i feel like it is such a big part of my life that i need to share it with anybody new that enters my life. and with the world of facebook etc...and since i link my blog to facebook it is a conversation i would much rather have in person before someone reads about my life and the changes i've made in my life via my blog.
i guess what i'm trying to get across is that yes, i'm having fun right now in my life, but that i am still looking for that change. i still realize that the type of change that i want might not ever happen, but for the first time in a really really long time i'm very optimistic about the change coming to my life.
strictly strength 60min

Friday, November 26, 2010

my turkey day

yesterday was pretty much perfect for me. i woke up and went to the gym for my favorite workout STRIKE! with my favorite people. then i came home and had a yummy breakfast just in time to watch the end of the macy's thanksgiving day parade. the afternoon was spent watching "love actually" (LOVE that movie) and putting up christmas decorations.
my house completely transforms at christmastime and i love it. it is a big chore putting up all the decorations put oh so worth it. i rearrange my whole entire living room, and it is quiet the task cleaning and putting everything in its place.
here are all the decorations
the moving of the couches to make room for the tree
i didn't get to the tree yesterday, but did get everything up before having to make a corn casserole then head out the door to my friend Sara's house for thanksgiving dinner.
sarah, me, kim, and sara
i'm so thankful to have such a tight knit group of friends. all of whom i have met at the gym. after dinner we had fabulous fun x-rated conversation! the food was perfect...turkey, gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cheese pudding, scallops potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, salad, and rolls.
...and the best for last:
sopapilla cheesecake, brownie truffle, and pecan pie ~ all courtesy of Sarah, AKA BFC.
so good!
after dinner was some retail therapy with my friend april. kortny a friend of mine from the gym invited us up to the loveland outlets for some late night shopping at tommy hilfiger. i got some great deals (thanks kortny!!!)!
check it out:
2 blouses, 2 sweaters, 1 pair of jeans (size 14!!!)
and an outfit for my Goddaughter for Christmas.

all $110!!!
thanks to april for driving up to loveland and the wonderful night shopping!
i am so thankful for so much. and my turkey day was spent with quality all around. great workout, fabulous food, amazing company...i'm seriously so blessed.
elliptical 30min
treadmill 35min

Thursday, November 25, 2010

all kinds of crazy ~ thanksgiving edition

i am thankful
for a STRIKE!
Thanksgiving morning.


i am thankful
for the red chile
on my pork pie
this morning.


i am thankful
for watching
"love actually"
while putting up my
Christmas decorations
this morning.


i am thankful
for busy


i am thankful for the
macy's thanksgiving day




i am thankful
for d's
little kisses.

that i miss


i am thankful
for my gym friends
that have become
my Denver family.

STRIKE! 60min

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

no snow

so november is usually denver's second snowiest month. snow for me is the indication of the holiday season. and well we have had no snow. yes it has snowed, and we have even had a couple of times where it stuck to the grass for an hour or two. but that's it. tomorrow is thanksgiving, and without a big snow fall it just doesn't feel like thanksgiving. it's weird. i'm not really in the thanksgiving mood, because it just doesn't feel like it is here. i hope to feel differently by tomorrow.
while i was thinking about this, i thought of last thanksgiving. and how much of my life has changed in the last 12 months.
how different just about every single aspect of my life is. it's a bit consuming. it's interesting how if you just be patient things happen. life changes. sometimes for the better, sometimes not. but life does happen. all around you. i just had to be patient for my changes to come to me. for me to work for my change. for to me to appreciate my work, and what my new life is like.
for that i am thankful.
elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

Monday, November 22, 2010


tara and i
i need some major motivation. tonight was tara's last zumba at lifetime. going forward she'll permanently be down at the brand new lifetime gym opening in centennial. to document her farewell she did an awesome 90 minute zumba workout! it was so much fun. whenever i take her class i come home and super motivated to start off my zumba career. i got my zumba certification at the end of july and have done nothing with it. what is discouraging about this is the fact that i've had lots of opportunities come to my door to do something with it, but out of laziness i have done nothing.
i'm going to miss this class so much. however i'll be happy to have my monday's nights back. this zumba class is from 6:45pm to 7:45pm...i prefer to workout 5:30pm to 6:30pm. and their is a new instructor that'll take over, and i'm sure i'll try her out because the other two instructor's i really don't like. ...this is the other reason i need to get my butt in gear, so i can teach! because i know i'm going to teach a tara-type zumba class, which is exactly the type of zumba workout that i want!
i think this will be a great goal for me to work on in 2011. because it is something i want to do, and i know i can find the time to do it. i just need to make the time.
so thank you to tara for giving me the zumba bug and for making this workout one of the funniest and hardest!
zumba 90min

Sunday, November 21, 2010

pumpkin bread

with thanksgiving right around the corner, i thought it appropriate to share my mother's recipe of pumpkin bread! this is some good stuff!, and i promise no calories are included! ;) have fun with this and enjoy!
what you'll need:
sugar, flour, veggie oil, water, canned pumpkin, eggs, nutmeg,
cinnamon, baking powder, vanilla, optional: walnuts and raisins
mix together 3 cups sugar, 1 cup vegetable oil, 2/3 cup H2O, 1 large can canned pumpkin, and 4 eggs.
add in seasonings: 1 t. nutmeg, 1 t. cinnamon, 2 t. baking powder, and 1 t. vanilla
then stir in 3 1/2 cups flour
mix it all together, then add in 1 cup chopped walnuts (and raisins)
pour evenly in 3 loaf pans and bake @ 350* for 50-60 minutes.
my mother usually always makes this recipe without the nuts, and it is very good without the nuts, but i prefer the nuts. i've never had this pumpkin bread with raisins, but i'm sure it is very good. so the walnuts and raisins are completely up to you. this bread freezes very well. it is just as good warm right out of the oven as it is cold out of the freezer! enjoy.

pumpkin bread
3 cups sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 water
1 large can of canned pumpkin
4 eggs
1 t. nutmeg
1 t. cinnamon
2 t. baking soda
1 t. vanilla
3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup chopped walnuts - optional
1 cup raisins - optional

mix sugar, oil, water, pumpkin, eggs, nutmeg, cinnamon, baking soda, and vanilla. add flour, nuts, and raisins. mix well.
pour evenly into 3 loaf pans, ungreased.
bake @ 350* 50-60 minutes
STRIKE! 60min

Saturday, November 20, 2010

how am i doing?

so my blog has taken a serious break from any updates regarding weight loss.and that's because i have taken a break from losing weight. although i have been wanting to lose weight, i haven't really been trying to lose weight. i have been eating like crap. and the upcoming thanksgiving week isn't going to help. thankfully i do plan on working out 6 days next week. i really really wanted to lose another 20 pounds before christmas, and at this point in time i unfortunately don't think that is going to a be a very realistic goal. however, i do plan to lose another 10 by christmas. my new goal is to give myself a pretty kick ass christmas gift. and that is the gift of me being able to say "i have lost 100 pounds!" ...i'm so close. i would love to go home and see my family member and say "i've lost 100 pounds." and now looking at the calendar...christmas is soon, super soon, and i don't know if i'll be able to do that. it is no secret that losing weight is hard. losing weight during the holidays, i'm going to predict is even harder! talk about crap all over the place. with cold weather outside the last thing i want to eat is a cold salad. i would much prefer a hot cup of creamy soup with bread! i don't really have a plan of attack to get me through the rest of the year except for maintain. and i know how to do that. you maintain by working out, and i do workout. right now i'm nervous about my ability to lose weight, and that is very uncomfortable for me to admit because i've never felt this way before. in the past i've been confident that i'll get rid of these last 20(+) pounds, and for the first time i'm not confident at all. my goal date for this to be accomplished keeps getting pushed out and that is discouraging to me. i suppose i do know that in the back of my head i know it'll get done...even if it is in 2011, i just wish i could be more strict with myself and get it done already. i want to be relaxed with the upcoming holiday season, and not beat myself up. easier said than done. hopefully i'll be able to find a happy medium and truly start fresh when i feel that the time is right. so right now i'm doing ok. i'm living my life and still very conscious of my weight and my want to lose weight.
strictly strength 60min

Friday, November 19, 2010

The Places I've Been: OR

wow, it's been almost 3 months since i posted about my travel series. time to catch up.

this time: oregon.

and in all honesty i couldn't tell you where in OR i've been, i just know that i've been there. i drove there with some family the first time i visited seattle, WA in the summer 1992(?). i went with my cousin Kari and her mom, my aunt Kathleen. and i think my aunt Patty was there and my cousins, Greg, Nikki, and Kyle. i'm not really all too sure who was there. anyways, i think we drove to oregon for a little family reunion that was going on? i remember meeting a bunch of my mom's aunts and uncles...so my great aunts and uncles. if i remember correctly we were only there for a afternoon. we drove there and back to seattle in the same day. i think it was maybe a 3 hour drive? ...who knows? maybe i'm making all of this up, and i've never been to oregon. but i'm pretty sure i've been there.

what i do know is that i want to go back there. i remember when aaron and i broke up and i thought about moving anywhere...portland, OR was on my list. because what i do remember about the afternoon that i spent in OR was how green and beautiful it was. and for some reason whenever i think about moving or relocating, portland always seems to be on my list of a place i could actually live. a few years ago my friend michelle was travel nursing and was transferring jobs between seattle and san francisco and drove down the oregon coast line and invited me to join her. unfortunately i couldn't go, but looking back on it now i regret it and wish i would have made it work, because she said it was so gorgeous. hopefully one day i'll have the opportunity again.
elliptical 20min
50/50 60min

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

question of the week:

what kind of moisturizer do you use?

so to be honest i don't put a lot of time into my face. i don't wear make-up daily, if weekly for that matter. and it has only been in the last 6 years or so that i started wearing daily moisturizer on my face. who knows what i started out with, but lately (the past few years) i've been wearing Olay moisturizer. i like it fine, but sometimes feel like i want something extra. like that little shimmer or shine. so a few months ago when i got a facial i asked my esthetician friend what she would recommend. well last week i finally ran out of my olay and went to this new stuff. and i do not like it. it dries out my skin like crazy, and puts a white sheen on my face so i look like a ghost. not attractive.


so i ask:
what kind of moisturizer do you use/recommend?
elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

weekend rewind

my life lately has been crazy busy. i know i've mentioned this before, but it has definitely taken some getting used to. in some ways i almost feel like i'm living a dream. living a life i've always wanted to live but never really created that kind of life for myself. but now it seems that is what i have done. to be honest last week was hard for me. only going to the gym 3 days...that is so unlike me. i was chatting with my friend at work about it and she said the most perfect thing: "You got to this point so you could HAVE a life, not so it could BE your life...have to keep that in mind. Keep your eating smart and do what you can when you can, that is what it is all about when you have to work around life!"~thanks April. so so true!

between dating, being social, having out of town visitors(and house guests), friends, blogging, and the gym i am just go go go all.the.time.

friday afternoon i drove to the airport to pick up my friends Tina and Jason who came into town for the bronco chiefs football game. once i picked them up we drove downtown and had a great dinner at Prime. super yummy. very cool restaurant and atmosphere.
tina and i at dinner
tina, jason, and i at dinner
after dinner i went and spent some quality time with D.

saturday morning i was suppose to go to a figure competition but passed on that to sleep in and get a workout in. after my workout i had a house to clean in preparation for my friend Michelle and her friend Jill to come up and visit. Jill is moving here the first of december from Washington, DC...she's a lawyer and hella smart! they arrived saturday afternoon and stayed with me through this morning.
saturday night we went downtown and had dinner at the corner office. D joined us and his laid back style won my friends over! after dinner we went out to a bar and continued chatting the night away.
me, jill, and michelle at dinner
sunday morning i went to the gym, then spent the afternoon with D at the bronco game. sunday evening i tried to play hostess to my house guests since i had pretty much left them all day. along with yesterday. ...yesterday i had to get up at 4:30am to go downtown to pick up tina and jason and drop them off at the airport so that they could head back to florida. i was at work by 6:40am, and thankfully got off early at 3pm. to share another meal with michelle and jill. so yes it has been crazy, and no i wouldn't want it any other way. except i'm going to work hard to get my workouts back to 5 a week.
barbell strength 60min

Sunday, November 14, 2010

bronco game

this afternoon i went to my second ever denver bronco game! ...my first bronco game was in october 2003. i went with a guy, we'll call him D*. D and i have been dating exactly one week. he's a good guy, a great guy. we met via an online dating site last monday and have seen each other everyday in between except for wednesday. his family has season tickets, and i was more than happy to accompany him to this game! i really enjoy live football, and this game was so.much.fun! between the awesome win ~ broncos 49 and chiefs 29, to the hot chocolate, great venue, and quality company i couldn't have asked for a better sunday afternoon!
invesco field at mile high
this weekend my florida friends tina and jason were in town specifically for the bronco game. we met up with them and did some chatting!
tina and i
pre-game warm up
go bronco's!

this game was such a blast! the bronco's needed this win! and we definitely pulled it off! here's the scoreboard throughout the first half....
broncos 14 chiefs 0
broncos 21 chiefs 0
another bronco touchdown!
broncos 28 chiefs 0
broncos 35 chiefs 0

the one bad thing about this game was the frigid cold weather. once the sun went down it was super cold so we left at half time, and watched the rest of the game at a near by bar. overall it was an amazing sunday! ...more on the weekend soon.
strike! 60min

Saturday, November 13, 2010

having fun...

yes i only went to the gym 3 times this week.

no i'm not going to beat myself up about.

right now i'm having the time of my life.

so much that this is all i have time for.

more updates coming soon...hopefully.

elliptical 35min
treadmill 35min

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

dancing x2

i love to dance. always have. when i was little i was in tap and ballet. then in middle and high school i was part of the dance team. this weekend i got lots of dance time in! i had such a great time going out and shakin' what my momma gave me!

friday night was first friday at tracks. this is the 3rd first friday i've been to, and every time i have such a great time!
first friday dance crew
me, sarah, bobby, and april
me, april, and sarah on the dance floor
then on saturday it was annabelle's birthday celebration. we had dinner then headed downtown to the tavern downtown for some more dancing!
antonio, april, me, erika, annabelle, justine, and bobby
annabelle and i
saturday night was the first night that i had been downtown to a straight bar since losing significant weight. and in all honesty it was weird. i'm pretty sure i'm always going to be 90 pounds heavier in my head. i don't think that i'll ever see what it is that other people see. i get reactions from guys, looks from guys, and i think "why is he looking at me?" these types of looks i've never gotten before. i wonder if i'll ever get better. see what other people see. time will tell.
zumba 60min

Sunday, November 7, 2010

roller coaster

my life lately has been a roller coaster. up down coasting - everything. up high low down middle. in all honesty i think this is how someone's life is suppose to be when you are single and 30 and in the dating scene, or rather a social scene. ...regardless if you are dating or not. obviously each day is different but right now i feel like each day my life is shifting. changing. preparing. with all of this work on myself some things are bound to change, right?

over the weekend i was playing catch up on my TV watching, and i watched an old episode of "private practice". ...now i realize this is a drastic comparison, but just try to follow me because i do have a point. in this episode a teenage boy tries to kill himself, and the two doctors that come see him while he is in recovery tell the boy that life does get better over time. but in order to see that it does get better you have to live your life. and if you are dead, then you'll just never know and never get to see that it does actually get better. life is full of all of these unknowns and unless you go out day to day to see what is out there, you'll just never know. their are definitely parts of my life right now where that is what i feel is happening. i don't know what is going to happen, but i do know that i want to find out, so i will continue to go out there and see what does happen. i will enjoy living my life, even if somethings may not turn out exactly how i pictured it.

thursday and friday of last week were definite lows. just when i thought and was planning for something to happen, everything just sorta disappeared. saturday and sunday were highs, and had turning points for me that let me know things were yet again, going to be ok. day to day change. that is what my life is like right now. and honestly, it is hard to keep up with. it's hard to not get extremely disappointed when things go bad, or to not get overly excited when things go good. it sucks how when something new happens the fact that it is new takes credit away from the situation. that because it is new you don't know of how much importance or time you should focus on it. because it is new it could easily go away, so then you question why you did focus so much on it, when it could end up being a waste of time. but then if you don't focus on it you'll end up with regrets, and you don't want that. ...that's how i feel anyways. which is why it is hard for me to not put my everything into something, regardless of how new or old something is.

this is when i tell myself "this was always meant to happen." that everything happens the way that it does, because that's they way it was suppose to happen. if it was suppose to be different, then it would have happened differently.
strike! 60min

Saturday, November 6, 2010


"this was always meant to happen." quote from eat, pray, love.

i'm learning to take comfort in that.
zumba 60min

Thursday, November 4, 2010

~all kinds of crazy~

i really want to see
toy story 3.


that is what i'm feeling.


i have the




i really appreciate the
gentlemen on the bus that immediately get up and say
"take my seat"
rather than ask
"do you want to sit?"
when the bus is so
crowded and you have to stand.
a true gentleman
doesn't ask,
he just does.


i suggest crying at the beginning
of your workout.
those emotions make you work


yes, i cried today at the
beginning of


tomorrow night
i'm gonna


is trying


i hope.

STRIKE! 60min

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


so in this pic there are 3 pairs of jeans
the first pair you see is the size 12 Gap jeans i just purchased that i can barely squeeze my happy butt into. the pair in the middle are a size 16 from Old Navy that i wear regularly. and the last pair is the size 16 from the Gap that i bought a few years ago. now they look comparable to the Old Navy ones. It must be the cut, because they just aren't very flattering on.

Let’s talk numbers, letters, and sizes. What is considered “normal”? When I was at my heaviest my BMI (Body Mass Index) was 42.8, which of course is considered obese(actually anything above a 40 BMI is considered morbidly obese{so gross}). Right now my BMI is at 28.2, which is overweight. A “normal” BMI for someone my height of 5’6’’ starts at 24.9 which is a weight of 154 pounds. To be honest I go back and forth about my goal weight. Right now I’m telling myself that I’ll be happy at 155 pounds. That I have 20 more pounds to lose. My original goal was 145, for the sole purpose that I would have some weight to gain and still be considered a “normal” BMI. I think that we fool ourselves when we say we want to be done losing weight or done fixing our body. Our body just seems to be one of those things we’ll never fully be happy with. I know that for myself I’m always going to want to better myself. I do have a goal to be 155 by Christmas, this is something I really want to achieve. Once that happens we’ll see what 2011 will bring. If it brings another 10 pound weight loss, I’m pretty sure I’ll be ok with that. But then I have the question of what my body will do? I don’t know. When I first went into Slimgenics they figure your “bone structure” by the size of your wrist. They put me down as average. Seeing my wrists (fingers and hands in general) now however, I think I might be considered small boned. Which I don’t want to be, to be honest. Because that just means more weight to lose. I keep telling myself that I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. But it is quite obvious that my weight loss as been yet again, nonexistence as of late. Something is going to have to change, because I am not done. I need to get myself to that freaking bridge already!!!

Moving on to sizes. Everyone likes to feel good when they go shopping. There is a sense of pride when you try on a piece of clothing, and it is too big and you need to go out and get a smaller size. I personally think that retail stores know this, and because of this they make their clothes bigger than what they used to. For example the Gap. Now I love the Gap, I have for a very long time. In fact 5 or 6 years ago I bought a pair of size 16 jeans that were on sale as a goal to one day wear. As of right now, I can’t even wear these jeans. Now granted the fit obviously makes a difference, but these size 16 jeans just don’t fit. Ok, so I lie. They do actually fit, but they don’t look good. Just like the size 12 jeans I bought from the Gap when Kari was here a few weeks ago. They fit but they don’t look flattering on, yet. Isn’t it weird that I have two pairs of jeans from the same store in two different sizes, that neither fit? Ok so the size 16 do look a bit better than the size 12, I’m just saying. Especially since I am wearing a size 14 pant right now from Old Navy and because the other two pairs of jeans that I do wear that fit comfortably are a 16 and a 14. I will say that bottoms for the most part are pretty consistent. And the shape and fit of the bottom does vary by each retail store in regards to how it’ll fit you.

Tops however, are a whole other animal. As I said I’m wearing pants right now that are a size 14. My top however is a 2XL Woman’s button down top, also from Old Navy. Yes, this top is big on me, probably a bit boxy, but not completely unflattering. At least, I don’t think so. I have many other tops that just look horrid. This isn’t one of them. Again depending on the style and the cut of the top, I might either grab a Medium or a Large, or both. The last two tops that I’ve gotten from Old Navy recently were a size M, and one happened to be a button down, and it fits me rather comfortably. So who knows what this means? I do know that as a fact the Medium button down that I just bought, would have no way fit me 90 pounds ago, so I don’t mean to say that the size 2XL and the M are the same, I’m just saying that I can wear both. Dressing my body as it is now is a challenge. To be honest I still don’t know what looks good. What would be considered too big, or too small, or just right. I’ve never had to dress my body at this size, but I am slowly learning.

I suppose my whole point in all of this is to wear what is comfortable, and not by the size on the tag. This is hard. As it is easy for that letter or number to play a game with our body. What size are you? …small, medium, or large? We shouldn’t be defined by the size that we are. We should be confident regardless of what size we are wearing. Be happy with the body that we have, but continue to challenge ourselves to make it the best that we can. My friend Sarah says this quote and I kind of love it: “If you don’t take care of your body, where will you live?” So so true. Let BMI stand for Body Mind Image, rather than Body Mass Index. (credit due here for that saying.)

Obviously easier said than done, I know. Such is life. In all honestly I think I am just writing this out so I don’t feel gross or ugly for wearing a size 2XL Woman’s plus size top today. J I think tomorrow I’ll wear a size M top just to make myself feel better. It truly is the little things that matter! …let the mind and body struggle continue…

barbell strength 60min

Monday, November 1, 2010

the bump in my arm

take note of my left arm/elbow
this is a story about my left elbow. it looks funny. it was once broken. it is not double jointed. i'm going to try to make this a funny story, but to be honest i don't know how to do that, so it may not be funny. but, that is my intent.

i believe this happened the summer before i started first grade. so i was 6? i was across the street at my childhood friend Olivia's house playing in her front yard. up to the house is a walkway, and on one side of the walkway is this 3 foot wall (i'm guessing about the height), and we were both standing on this wall. at the time i was wearing one of my most favorite dresses. Olivia decided it was time to jump off and go play inside. so she jumped off and prompted me to follow her.

i was scared to jump.

so what did i do? i fell. i fell backwards landing on the grass behind me, and hitting my elbow on the concrete sidewalk to my left. broken elbow. what happened right after that moment i don't remember. i do remember being in the backseat of my parents car and driving to the hospital. i remember one of the nurses saying that they had to cut my dress off of me because they needed to see my whole arm. i was already upset and crying, and then to ruin my most favorite dress?! i was heart-broken. i remember them taking scissors and cutting open my dress while i was balling. i held Boo-boo (my stuffed panda bear) and just cried and cried. and then the nurse wanted to stick a needle in me to put me out for the surgery. i pleaded my case and told them that my mom could run her fingers up and down my back and that would put me to sleep. i said i didn't need the shot to go to sleep. unfortunately i didn't win, and got stuck with a needle.

i got a cast of course. and had to wear it for the rest of the summer and the beginning of the school year. i'm pretty positive that it was because of this broken arm that i do majority of everything right-handed, that is except for write. i write, left-handed. for whatever reason the doctor was unable to put the bone right in the correct place, so with that and cartilage built up i have a bump in my arm. my left elbow to be exact. i can do everything normal. it just looks funny.

and it is more noticeable as i've lost weight. i have more people notice it and ask me about it. to be honest it used to be a sore subject in middle school, when i was on the dance/drill team. in drill team we would do a line of kicks, and i was put next to ginger, and we had to link arms. she complained about my bump all the time. i hated her for it. she made me feel like something was wrong with me. not a good memory.

anyways. so that is the story about when i broke my left arm when i was 6. i realize it isn't a funny story. but still, a story.

what bones have you broken?

the end.
upper body/abs 30min
zumba 60min