Monday, March 16, 2015

A Day in the Life - 3.16.15

I've been meaning to do a "day in the life" post for forever.  I always do good at the beginning of the day but then I just forget.  And I'm always waiting for a "normal" day.  Well I don't know why I would ever expect a normal day to happen.  Even though I didn't take any more pictures of our day past 3pm, I still want to remember today.
I took today off, as I had no one to watch Helena.  We slept in, and it felt great!  At 8am I finally got up and took a shower, but the time I was out Helena was ready to start her day.
 I have my moments when I miss nursing Helena.  I usually try and make her feeding time calming.  I let this time be time where I can focus on her.  I usually just stare at her and just memorize her face and features.  She usually pulls on my hair, picks my nose, puts her fingers in my mouth, or stabs my eyes.  It's a good time, and I enjoy it. 
After her bottle I make her some cereal with mashed blueberries.   I don't know what it is but within the past 24-48 hours or so she doesn't want to be fed.  She wants to feed herself.  So majority of the cereal went to waste.  Sad face.
 At 9:50am we left to go check out another daycare. 
 We've arrived.
 After the daycare we went to Grease Monkey to get the oil changed in the car.  Helena crawled around and got horribly dirty.  After waiting for awhile I decided to take a little walk outside.  Once we left Helena immediately fell asleep in the car, once we were almost home I got a call from Grease Monkey to bring the car back as they forgot to "flush it out" whatever that means.  Turned around and went back.
Once we got home Helena woke up.  I fed her another bottle in hopes that would put her back to sleep.  No dice, I'm not surprised.  Heard from Andrea and was asked to go to Chiptole for lunch.  SOLD!
Met Andrea and Grayson for lunch.  Helena had some pinto beans, black beans, and blueberries.
After lunch we headed to the Broomfield Rec Center.  I'm so glad I was introduced to this place by my friend Aundra!  Grayson and Helena had the whole place to themselves the majority of the time!  They had a blast!  Helena went down a slide and tried super hard to climb up the big tube slide!  I'm learning my little daughter is fearless!

After crawling around and playing for an hour we called it a day.  She fell asleep immediately in the car, and woke back up once we got home.  I knew she was exhausted so I tried to rock her when we got home.  No such luck.  She got another bottle and some food.  She was over playing with my shoes when I heard this huge fart then another vibration...a blow out.  Which she hasn't had for sometime, and it really wasn't that bad.  But a change of clothes was necessary.  After that she was getting cranky, so I tried to rock to sleep again.  Again, no such luck.  But it was some good cuddle time.  She sorta just laid on me and whined.  After she calmed down I needed to start dinner.
She thankfully played with herself with her toys in the living room while I prepped dinner.  I was really impressed by this as she usually likes to come over and be in the kitchen with me, or getting in the cat food, or getting in the water for the cats, or playing in corner by the fireplace, or the bookshelf.  But she actually played where I could see her with her own toys.
At around 6:30pm Chris came home, and dinner was just going in the oven.  Chris took Helena to change while I cleaned up the kitchen.  Once dinner was ready we ate, Helena again refused to be fed.  So she fed herself some chicken and green beans.  After dinner we cleaned up and read some of the "Good Night Bible".  Chris started her bath, while Helena came with me to take off my make-up.  Chris gave Helena's bath while I did some work, and now Helena is asleep.
It was a great day.      

Sunday, March 15, 2015

A Storm is Brewing

You know those big blizzards that come?  A few hours before it’s calm and clear, then the clouds move in and its gray and eerie and silent (almost too silent), the anticipation builds of snow and accumulation.  You anxiously await as you wonder how long you'll be buried inside?!  Then it hits.  Even though it was expected it is still a surprise.  Your almost taken aback by how much snow there is and the cabin fever you know will come. 
I feel like this is my life right now. 
Change is coming.  I’m scared and I’m anxious, and I pray all the time that everything will work out.  I, of course, know that it will.  Why?  Because it has to.  There is no other choice.  How it works out may not be how I want, but I know it will, indeed workout.  I know me and my family will be taken care of.
There are two different elements to this storm, when is a storm ever just one dimension?  One being with Helena and her daycare, the other with me and my job. 
I’m currently looking for a new daycare for Helena.  I struggle with this because when you give your child to someone else to look after, you have to trust them.  You have to have faith that they are caring for your child as they would their own.  I put a lot of weight on what a provider tells me, because that’s all I have to go off of.  She’s the one who is there when I am not there.  So I believe what I’m told and believe that she is being cared for. 
I would prefer an in-home situation like what she has now, but I think an actual daycare is the route to go.  Because it’s more dependable and just easier.  Or maybe that’s my assumption.  One thing I do know, it’s a lot more expensive.  I feel like I’m pay for my spot, not for my daughter to be taken care of.  I hate that.  Hate it.  Thankfully I have two weeks to figure it out, as I already have something set up for this week, and the following week my mother-in-law will be in town.  But I know those 2 weeks are going to go by wicked fast. 
The next element is my job.  I need direction.  I’m working hard at my Younique business (and it's growing!!!), but I’m also looking at growing in my corporate job.  There are so many balls in the air, and it is distracting.  I’m the type of person who needs something to focus on.  I need to know where to put my focus.  And right now there are so many directions I don’t know where to turn, let alone focus. 
Back in September 2013 I applied for a different job within CTL (CenturyLink).  Shortly after I applied I found out I was pregnant.  I went through the interview process, was hopeful I would get the job, and then I didn’t.  I was totally fine with it, as now I had something else to focus on….my growing baby.  Throughout my pregnancy and through the end of 2014 I didn’t focus on my career.  My priorities were elsewhere.  My priority was Helena and taking care of her.  She’s still a huge priority in my life and always will be, but now I have the energy to focus on something else.  The organization I work for has been going through a huge re-org since January.  Usually changes like this mean lay-offs, but not in this particular situation.  This change is requiring a lot of hiring and growing.  This change has presented me with two different opportunities.  Nothing is set, and I’m highly aware that just because these two opportunities are currently on my plate that neither one will work out.  I know that one outcome could bring back to exactly where I am.  But I can’t help but feel that a change is coming in my work life, too.  This one requires patience.  Which I am not good at.  The corporate world takes it sweet time with things like this.  At this point I would surprised if I know anything by the time Helena’s first birthday roles around in May. 
I find myself more and more in anticipation of the future, because I know the future will be here super quick.  But I need to take time for the now, because that’s what is happening.  Not much of a guarantee in life, except for that.  The now. 
Last week at church Pastor Ken talked about change.  As we are in this Lenten season with Easter approaching and even the change of seasons.  From winter to spring.  How you have to find beauty in the mess.  And it's the time when life gets hard is when you are truly living.  I definitely think parts of my life right now are a mess, and hearing the positive spin that this "mess" is beautiful made me reflect that the problems I have aren't bad problems to have.  Things could be much worse and I'm so blessed that they aren't. 

10 months

Where has the time gone!?
It's amazing how everyone says they grow up SO fast.  And you know to believe and it expect it, but living it is so different.  Because it is so true.  I find myself asking how to enjoy each moment, each time, each month. How to document and remember it all, because before I know it it'll be over.  I'm trying not to anticipate the next mile-stone because I want to remember today.

As I ramble, Helena is 10 months old!  We of course did stuff over the last month, and I of course have been meaning to blog but time as just gotten away. 
We are continuing with another month's of swimming lessons.  She's definitely eating more.  Although it seems that milk is what fills her.  She really enjoys fish and chicken. 
She hates the blow dryer.  She instantly freaks out.
She loves the corners of the house she is not suppose to get into.  Particularly the corner by the fireplace and the corner between the desk and bookshelf. 
She love to chase the cats.  Denali knows to move, Otis however has gotten his tail grabbed a couple of times.
She's ticklish.  Most recently on the bottom of her feet, but tickle her stomach and you are guaranteed a laugh and giggle. 
She's in size 3 diapers, still sleeps all night and is such a joy!