Saturday, October 31, 2015

Limbo in Limbo

Moving sucks.
Whether you are moving across the street or in this case 500+ miles, moving just plain sucks.  We've been preparing for this moving for the past 3 weeks.  I've been feeling a little lost as we have no routine and we've just been in limbo as we wait for the next big thing.  But we've been able to keep busy, clean the house, list the house, get out of the house for showings, pack up the house, etc...
Chris did the work to find a moving company.  He found a company and we had requested a move date of either 10/27 or 10/28.  We got a call on 10/27 advising us a truck would be here to load us up between noon and 5pm on 10/28.  On the morning of 10/28 we even got a call asking if we had heard from our driver and again confirming our driver would show up between noon and 5pm.  When we didn't hear anything by 1pm we called and were told there was a delay and that the soonest someone would come pick us up is Friday between noon and 5pm.  After hysterically this point in time we were ALL packed up and ready to go and complaining to numerous people we settled with the fact we weren't going to leave until Friday.  We unpacked our essentials, remade the beds, canceled the orders to cancel the internet and TV and just waited.  Friday morning we again received confirmation a driver would be here to pick us up between noon and 5pm.  By 2pm we actually heard from our driver and he advised he was 2 hours away from Fort Collins, he let us know he needed to unload a house in Fort Collins, and that load would take at least 6 hours to unload.  So by yesterday afternoon we knew we weren't going anywhere.  So again we unpacked and remade the beds.  Last night we got confirmation again from both a manager and the driver that we would be picked up by 10am this morning.  It is now almost 11am and nobody can get a hold of the driver.  We are...again ready to go.
I've never experienced anything like this before, and I never want to again.  Trying to keep Helena entertained while we literally stare at the front door waiting for a truck to pull up is exhausting.  I am exhausted.  I can't live like this much longer.  Chris as already advised his boss he will no be at this first day of work on Monday, and this worries me deeply.  Chris needs to keep this job, and as of right now who knows if he'll be in NM to show up to work on Tuesday.
Our limbo is literally in limbo.  We can't leave our house.  It's horrible.  I've cried so much over the past week and we're at the mercy of this horrific moving company.
I had hoped to be in Alamogordo by now so we could take Helena Trick or Treating in our new neighborhood to try and introduce ourselves and start to process of hopefully making some new friends.  And now, who knows if we'll be able to take Helena Trick or Treating at all.  ...something I was really looking forward to, regardless of location.

Happy Halloween everyone!

We did carve pumpkins last weekend while my parents were in town, it was something I wanted to make sure we did with Helena.  It was a super fun time.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Pregnancy Weeks 4 - 14

9/27/15: 10w4d - Baby Sweat #2 is waving "HI"

It's been a crazy 11 weeks:  Here's a recap.

Week 4: Poppy Seed
8/16 – 8/22
I’m super tired this week, but feel like I’m using my energy well chasing after my 15 month old.  I have zero appetite and nothing sounds appetizing.  I feel like I can’t drink enough water, as I always feel like I have “dry mouth”.  Which of course only increases the bathroom trips even more! 

Week 5: Sesame Seed
8/23 – 8/29
I found out this week I don’t have a job as of 9/4.  I’m beyond scared.  My daughter and my unborn child officially have two unemployed parents.  In the span of 8 days my life drastically changed, twice. 
I completed a 5K on Thursday and was so sore!

Week 6: Lentil
8/30 – 9/5
I’m so emotionally drained and I have no motivation.  I have no desire to cook and the only time I really feel hungry is in the mornings.  I’m praying constantly: “Please Dear Lord let this baby be ok.”  “Please Dear Lord let this baby be healthy.”  With everything going on it is weird keeping this news to myself.  I’m almost scared to announce I’m pregnant just because of what people might think.

Week 7:  Blueberry
9/6 -9/12
We traveled to Kearney, NE over the Labor Day holiday.  We decided to leave the night before.  Chris and I both agreed a change of scenery would do us some good.  And it did.  Being at my in-laws I get to totally relax.  I know Helena will be taken care of, and I know I'll be taken care of.  I truly just relaxed and stayed in my stage of denial a little bit longer.  I got to take naps!  I'm so not a nap taker, but growing this baby has made me exhausted, so I took an afternoon nap daily!  

Week 8: Kidney Bean
9/13 - 9/19
I'm so tired, and not sleeping very good isn't helping.  I've been super nausea lately a lot more than I ever was with Helena.  I feel like I'm going to puke all day long, but nothing ever actually happens.  

Week 9: Grape
9/20 - 9/26
Super busy this week.  Flew to Albuquerque to drive to Alamogordo for a job interview with Chris.  I don't want to move, but know we have to look at all options.

Week 10: Kumquat 
9/27 - 10/3
Had my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound on Monday 9/28!  Baby measured a little ahead of schedule at 10w4d with a super strong heart rate of 178!  We saw some movements and baby waving "HI" as if to tell me everything is going to be ok, and I cried and cried!  Plus my mom and Helena got to see baby which was super special!  In other big news, we decided this week to move to Alamogordo.  

Week 11: Fig
10/4 - 10/10
In Albuquerque this week.  I'm back to being tired, and super nauseated in the afternoon/evening.  These long bouts of nausea are not fun, but thankfully I have yet to get sick.

Week 12: Lime
10/11 - 10/17
I feel like my weeks are blending into each other.  I'm more focused on Helena and the fact that we are moving than this baby.  I feel guilty as I have moments of "oh, right I am pregnant."  This week we got the house cleaned up and put on the market.

Week 13: Pea Pod
10/18 - 10/24 
The house in under contract, and I'm trying to memorize everything about Colorado, as this is our last full week in the state I've called home for the last 13 and a half years.  We have this beautiful tree in our backyard that is so vibrantly red.  I'm seeing friends and saying good-bye.  I'm heartbroken and continue to pray this baby is happy and healthy.

Week 14: Lemon
10/25 - 10/31
Had my second appointment today (10/27), I was super anxious about hearing babies heartbeat.  But thankfully the heart-rate was in the high 150's and healthy.  We said good-bye to my doctor and the nurses, and I'm already dreading the search for a new OB.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

where to start?

Big pumpkins!

My world

She's growing up!

fun at the park
i'm not too sure where to begin.  i have so much going on in my mind.  if i'm random and all over the place, i apologize in advance. 
our last full week in Denver has officially come to a close, and in my blogging mind i keep going back to a simpler time before i knew we would move.
at the end of september (right after we were in ABQ and Alamogordo {what's the abbreviation for Alamogordo?}) my mom and aunt deanna came up for a visit, for my aunt deanna to celebrate her birthday with her daughter; my cousin that lives in fort collins. 
we had a super fun time at a nursery down in Littleton where there was a big pumpkin contest.  these pumpkins were huge!  everyone had a great time. 
during that weekend we celebrated Chris' birthday, and i feel so bad, but i can't really remember what we did to celebrate.  this is the mush going on in my head.  i know majority of the time i want time to go fast and speed up to the next "big" thing that i'm anticipating.  lately i've been praying that the days slow down.

our house got under contract in less than 3 days.  we went on the market last friday (10/16) afternoon, and were under contract by monday afternoon.  we got 3 offers, two above asking price.  the inspection is tomorrow.  i'm telling myself that this all part of His plan, to show me that this is where we are suppose to go.  that had this happened 3 years ago, we wouldn't have been able to make it work because the market 3 years ago wasn't what it is today.  the fact that the selling of our house has been somewhat easy and non-stressful, is a sign that all the pieces are falling where they are suppose to. everything just seems surreal.  in the middle of all of this i still need to blog about the rest of Ocotober happenings:
Going back to ABQ for the Balloon Fiesta
Marty and Mary's visit and the Denver Zoo
Chendra babysitting: what will be our last date night.  Movie: Bridge of Spies and dinner: Rock Bottom.
Hanging out with Sarah Z and her kiddos
Swimming with  Sarah D and her little boy
Getting in play dates with Andrea and Grayson
Chopping off my hair
Having my parents come visit and family pictures
Dinner with Chris' old co-workers
What will most likely be our last Broomfield United Methodist Church service
Lastly, what was suppose to be the now postponed Janet Jackson concert

Stay tuned, hopefully I'll get to all of that!

Friday, October 16, 2015

A new Adventure?

The Sweat's are moving to Alamogordo, New Mexico.

It's not real, until it is real.  It's becoming more and more real.
My life is drastically changing and I'm still in denial about well, all of it.  There are a lot of positives that this move brings, but I'm just not ready to look at all of the good, until I am totally done grieving the things I'm losing (have lost), and that will probably be awhile.

We traveled to Alamogordo (about 3 hours south of Albuquerque) at the end of September for Chris to have an in person interview and to check out the town.  Similar to Albuquerque, Alamogordo is super spread out and dirty.  I wasn't impressed.  It's a military town of about 30,000 and near White Sands National Monument, and about 90 minutes north of El Paso, TX.  By October 1st we had decided to move.  We met with our pastor to discuss this move and all of the fears that I have...mainly Chris not being able to keep this job.  Pastor Ken advised to look at it as a adventure, just one of life's many curve balls.    Ultimately with me not having a job, and Chris not having a job, I feel like this is the right path for our family.   After lots of endless praying, I can't help but feel and hope that this door is opening for a reason.

I'm still grieving the loss of my job, although thankfully I've been super busy since being unemployed.  But having that security for 12 years I'm still going through an adjustment.
Now I'm grieving what I know I'm about to lose: my house.  I love my house.  Even though when we bought this house Chris knew there would be a time we would move again, I had a small dream that this house would be our forever home.  I knew I would want that "forever home" for my family, I'm used to that stability.  My parents still live in the only house I ever lived in, in Albuquerque.  I had hoped to provide that for Helena.  Now that is a dream I have to say good-bye to.
I'm losing my friends, my church, my gym.  It's a lot, and I don't want to go.

Isn't there always a but?
I am gaining a lot.
With the cost of living being much cheaper in Alamogordo and Chris' new job, another dream of mine will become a reality.  I will get to stay home with Helena.  Obviously, this is huge, and I'm extremely grateful for this opportunity to get to stay home full time with my daughter.
We will also be much closer to family.  Being only 3 hours away from my parents, and majority of my extended family is a luxury I haven't had for the past 13 hours, and one that I know Helena will gain a lot from.
I'll be near other families with kids.  Since Alamogordo is a military town, I hope to be able to easily make new friends with Mom's who have kids.
It's only temporary.  Chris is working for Aramark a worldwide company, and his new employer knows he has no desire to live in southern New Mexico for the rest of his life, and ideally we want to end up someplace more metropolitan.

I never thought I would be moving back to New Mexico, let alone Alamogordo, New Mexico.  And although I know this is a step forward for our family, part of me feels like it is a step back.

I've been highly emotional and sobbing just about every single day.  Everything has been moving at lightening speed, Chris starts his new job 11/2.  Getting the house ready, seeing friends, it's been hectic and overwhelming.
There are so many things I'm going to miss about Denver.  I'm not even going to attempt to list it out as I don't want to start crying. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

where am i?

let me apologize about my lengthy absence.  there is a lot going on and i hope to get up to date soon.

i hate to be vague but for now i'll be keeping all of you in suspense!