Sunday, October 31, 2010

my halloween weekend 2010

despite being an emotional weekend, my halloween weekend was also a blast. i surrounded myself with friends and fun! check it out.

friday night was a surprise shindig for my friend april's birthday. it was great fun!
annabelle, denise, and i
bobby and april and birthday cake!
halloween was celebrated at the gym on saturday and sunday! it was double trouble!
ayden and zack as
R2T2 and Luke Skywalker

sarah taught the Thriller dance!
sarah as combat Barbie, dead from combat
dancing the Thriller dance! so fun!
to gear up for STRIKE! this morning april decided to dress as, who else?, our awesome kick butt instructor sarah! it was awesome! sarah was the witch lady from snow white.
denise, christina, and i dressed up as the spice girls!
baby spice, scary spice, and sporty spice!
hard core halloween STRIKEr's!
christina, april, sarah, denise, and i
then tonight i went and hung out with sarah as we waited for the trick or treater's. sarah had homemade chocolate chip cookies, caramel apple's, and lots of candy!
ayden and zack
with everything said and done this halloween was lots of fun! i had a great time hanging out with my friends, and dressing up for Strike! as scary spice!

hope your halloween was lot of fun and candy filled!!!

Happy Halloween 2010!!!
strike! 60min

Saturday, October 30, 2010

an everything type of day

Justify Fullso today as been full of emotion. it has been an emotional rainbow, full of every single freakin' color imaginable. the good the bad the ugly the unexpected and everything in between. yes, it has been one of those days.

when i woke up this morning, it started as refreshed and rested. excited for my day. for starters, i slept in. truly slept in. until 9:30am. it was beautiful. i had been planning to sleep in for the past month specifically because the mornings have been so dark as of late. this morning i finally feel that i took full advantage of that! i got up and headed to the gym. and for the first time in 4 weeks i decided to weight myself. 177. plus two from four weeks ago. i thought about writing a blog about this, and my feelings, but so much else has happened that you know it doesn't really matter because anything that i would have said about my weight and wanting to do better probably would have been things i've already said. so no big news there.

at the gym i was excited to see my friends. although seeing them always puts a smile on my face. when i see them i have an instant sense of comfort. today's workout was a special halloween workout. Thriller! Sarah taught a 90 minute Thriller routine, and it was a lot of fun. after my good nights sleep i felt totally energized for this workout! April brought her boys who actually stayed for45 minutes trying to learn the dance. seriously the cutest thing ever. after we learned the dance we down into the gym and did the dance for all of the kiddos. super fun.

following the workout was lunch. i met Sarah and a friend of hers for some good food at panera. i was feeling very productive after having a lazy morning. after lunch Sarah and i did some shopping for my halloween costume unsuccessfully. while shopping i got some news that i didn't want to get. and was instantly saddened. honestly i didn't realize it at the time, but although i was sad, i was also grateful. because i wasn't alone. after that moment my afternoon felt all over the place. chaotic. it started off as sadness, then i was mad, then frustrated, so frustrated that i felt a fool. then i was pissed. then disappointed. i was seeking closure and didn't know if i was going to get it. but through all of that, you know what i had that i haven't really had in the past? a friend. simple as that. a friend. that makes all the difference in the world. someone to talk to, rather than driving yourself crazy in your own head. talking out loud. in the past i haven't had that comfort. i've had to deal with all of my crazy emotions by myself and all alone in my head. with nobody there, no one to talk to you. it was at that point that i started to reflect and appreciate the growing friendships that i have. because for the first time in along time i felt as though i truly have people who will be there for me.

about an hour or two after all of that craziness i did get a little bit of relief. some relief that things might be ok. that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. time will tell. while all of that was happening i had my friends calling me, and checking up on me. because people care. how amazing is that?

then i made a phone call. a phone call that i hope i don't regret making. right now that is a fear that i have. i don't know.

so we have refreshed, rested, excited, happy, comforted, energized, productive, lazy, sad, grateful, crazy, mad, frustrated, disappointed, stupid, pissed, comforted, appreciative, reflective, relieved, regret. all in one single day. i haven't felt this emotionally drained in along time. but it feels good to know that i don't have to go through all of this alone.

i know that i have a lot of words left unsaid in this post, and for now that is just how it is going to be. my life this past week as been amazing and time will tell if i'll be able to share it. but for now i just want to document this day, and as personal as it maybe, i am so grateful for this life and for my friends!
thriller dance 90min

Thursday, October 28, 2010

all kinds of crazy

have you seen these shoes?

they are hella cool.

i want a pair.

or three.


another no witty

random thought thursday




i upgraded last week to windows 2007.

it's slow.

specifically in outlook.



boo - who?

it's halloween weekend!


i'm so ready for this


to be over with.


i'm the world's best



just never change.





it's a new trend.

do it.


i am ecstatic for the

70* degree plus weather

that is coming my way

the next two days!!









dirty little freaks.


strike! 60min


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

lazy workout

call it what you will, but i had a lazy workout tonight. i have a hard time calling anything less than an hour workout a workout. but nonetheless i did 45 minutes on the elliptical and i'm counting it. especially since i didn't want to go at all, and for the first time ever actually considered leaving the gym without even working out.

lets go back a couple of days. i haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. something big could be in the works, and when/if it progresses i will share it, until then that's all i will share. i function best with 7 or 8 hours of sleep. i'm pretty sure the last time i had 7 hours of sleep was last friday night. i'm hoping that tonight i'll do some catching up and get to bed early. anyways.

i really didn't want to go to gym tonight. just when i think the decision of getting up and going to workout will be easy, i find myself having to motivate myself as if it is my first ever workout. i really don't like the feeling of having to talk myself into going to the gym, but such is life. and we all do things we don't want to do. so i went. my plan was to do zumba at 5:30pm. i don't really like this zumba instructor, but i convinced myself to go and that the 60 minute class wouldn't kill me, and that if anything it would be some good cardio. so i arrive to class, and the instructor is late. a couple of personal trainers come in to warm us up and i just wasn't feeling it. it was at this point in time that i felt like leaving. just walking out of the gym without even working out. but i knew how lame that would be. i mean really, who goes to the gym and doesn't work out?!

instead i did something else i've never done. i walked out of the studio and over to the cardio equipment and got on the elliptical. i told myself i would settle for 30 minutes. i ended up doing 45! i thought about doing some time on the treadmill too, but told myself that was enough. 45 minutes on the elliptical is better than not working out at all right? right.

when this week started i thought that maybe i would only get in four workouts. but i'm happy to know that i'll get in my normal five.

let it be known that i still have to motivate myself, that i still have to push myself, that i still have to get my butt out the door. yes these moments are much fewer than what they used to be, but i do still have them. and i'm proud to report that 99.9% of the time i do make the choice to get to the gym rather than stay home.
elliptical 45min

Monday, October 25, 2010

feeling romantic

so friday night i went to this show and heard this song. it is so beautiful. then i heard it again saturday on the radio. it's a great song with beautiful lyrics. check it out.

Just the Way You Are
by Bruno Mars

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
and I tell her everyday

Yeah I know, I know
What I compliment her
She won't believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are
isn't that a great song? it also reminds me of this quote i recently got: "i just think every woman deserves to be desired. is that really asking too much?" by john galliano

i think everyone wants to think that they are beautiful, and we all want to feel wanted. it is a great feeling to have when you have it.
upper body weights 30min
zumba 60min

Sunday, October 24, 2010

unofficial after photos

so way back in march i met my friend sarah in las vegas. this was the weekend prior to starting slimgenics. once i signed up and found out that i would be at my goal when i was home in october, i booked sarah to document my successes, and take my official after photos from the 265 person i used to be. as i've stated i didn't reach my goal when i was suppose to, but i still wanted to meet up with sarah and have her document my progress thus far. this photo shoot was such a blast. she brought along her photo friend nick, while sarah and i got to chat and give me light! we laughed and shared stories, all while in the middle of doing a plank or two while we got shoots in the grass!
sarah i could never thank you enough for your friendship and for your talent. you are amazing!

strike! 60min

Saturday, October 23, 2010

back to normal

i'm so relieved. for the longest time i've been going back and forth in regards to slimgenics. questioning if i'm going to go back strictly on plan. but not being 100% committed, so not fully prepping myself for the week, when i go grocery shopping.

and what about grocery shopping? i've feel like i haven't really been grocery shopping since before i went to florida at the beginning of september. i was out of town 2 weekends ago, then last weekend kari was in town. so things just haven't been normal. and since last week and truly deciding to no longer follow slimgenics, i'm excited to go grocery shopping without "slimgenics head" and the food i used to normally get, but with the twist of my knowledge from slimgenics. i'm really looking forward to exploring what my new normal will be. i'm happy to start planning meals and not fully restricting myself. essentially i have been pretending to be on plan, and that hasn't worked out great for me. not really planning my meals has been much more costly and just overall not good.

i'm really looking forward to finding my new normal. feeling like i am eating like normal. not being all weird about my food. it'll be so nice to take slimgenics into what i'm going to make my real world.
strictly strength 60min

Thursday, October 21, 2010

no vacancy

i had a visitor last weekend. my cousin kari. it was great to have her here, and spend quality time together. kari has seen me struggle with my weight all of my life, and more recently over the past 3 years. she has seen me at my heaviest and at my worst. being depressed, and not having much of a life. while she was here she got to see first hand how much my life has changed since she was last here 11 months ago. it was great to have her experience a little bit of my new life.

saturday night we went out to celebrate jerry's birthday! jerry is a guy from the gym, and such a good guy. a big group of us met at bd's mongonlian BBQ for dinner.
kari and i at jerry's bday dinner
denise (jerry's wife) and april
jerry and i
birthday shot ~ cheers!
april, kari, jerry, and i
after dinner we went to a haunted house. it was a lot of fun! i was super scared and anxious, but it was both super fun and haunted. kari and i held onto each other for dear life!

while waiting in line i got to chat with jerry. i could seriously talk with this guy forever. he has lost a total of 80 pounds, so we have lots in common in regards to actually losing weight. i admire him because i know the hard work it takes to lose a number like that. so you can't help but have major respect for him.

after the haunted house we headed to a bar to extend the birthday festivities!
jerry, me, and kari
(according to sarah this is my "i'm gonna get you" look)

kari, me, april, and denise
sunday night we went out to a fancy dinner at colt and gray. this was a very nice dinner. great food! i love a nice long leisurely dinner with good conversation and company, and this dinner was exactly that. we had lots of cheese, and shared some trout and something else that i can't remember.
enjoying a martini
dessert was an apple crumble with cream cheese ice cream ~ it was amazing!
kari and i @ colt and gray
on monday we had a leisurely day that started off at the gym. we went and got pedicures, did some shopping, followed by another great dinner with great drinks and the village tavern!
a hope-martini and a pumpkin martini - yummy!
kari and i at dinner
last but not least snooze. you can't come to denver without coming to snooze. and i love breakfast. so before we said our goodbye's and kari hit the road to head back to NM tuesday morning, we enjoyed a snooze breakfast!
kari and i
my life has been so busy as of late. and i'm working on going back to "normal", although i'm thinking that being busy could very easily be my new normal. how weird is that?! ...again with that word, weird. it was great to spend sometime reflecting with kari and the past year that i have had. she knows me so well and my whole dynamic, plus she's my cousin. so she knows my upbringing and our family surroundings growing up. she's been such a cheerleader and supporter, and i thank her for always being there for me, and for being one of my bestest and closest friends!
strike! 60min

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

this is for me

when i first signed up for this whole weight loss thing i didn't really look at the big picture. i really just focused on the end result. wanting to be skinny. not wanting to be fat. i knew that it would be hard. but i also knew that it wasn't rocket science. although looking back i did make it a lot harder than what it actually is....i think that's part of the denial part. because you think if it is easy, you would do it, right? so you question whether or not you can do it. for a really long time i just thought to myself "i can't do this" so why bother trying?

it's pretty basic stuff. move more, eat less. burn more calories, eat lean proteins, veggies, and fruits. drink water. if only it were that easy.

one thing that you don't really think about is all the time spent in the middle. the changes that you'll make mid-journey. i guess maybe that is because each day is a new day. each day is a new decision. everyday is the start. everyday is monday. everyday is january 1st. and then without even realizing it every new day is months and months of hard work all put together. you find yourself accepting people's compliments. compliments from loved ones and complete strangers. you find yourself shopping for smaller clothes. you find yourself getting more attention from the opposite sex.

you find people calling you an inspiration.

i didn't sign up for this. what i signed up for was to get thin. to lose fat. just about every single part of this journey is unexpected.

i didn't expect any of this.

and i have no idea how to handle it. all if it is weird. i use that word a lot to describe my journey.


i've even gotten attention on other peopel's blogs! check it out here and here. weird.

now granted we all love to be recognized. who doesn't? but isn't it weird? on top of that, the attention is unsolicited. which of course makes it that much more flattering.
i suppose this is just the icing on the cake. ...probably a bad choice of words ;) but you know what i mean.

the fact that i am on this journey and that people look up to me. that people find me inspiring... but let the truth be known, that i'm only doing this for myself. all of this hard work is for me, not you. and if my hard work makes you work hard, then that's all YOU, not me.

when i first starting this whole "blog for every workout" thing back in january 2009, i did that for myself. to keep me accountable. and you know what, it has worked for me...which is why i have continued to do it. and i'll probably follow suit into 2011. blogging is hard work, but i love it. it is my release. i do it for me.
all of this work is for me.
barbell strength 60min

Monday, October 18, 2010

the big 5 - 0 - 0

it is crazy how this whole blogging thing has become such a big part of my life. i feel as though i have a while blogging family out there. some of who are people that i know, some who are complete strangers. kinda weird, but weird in a very good way.
when i asked for ideas to celebrate my 500th post i got an anonymous comment in regards to a bucket list. it isn't really all that special or exciting, but i liked the idea and have decided to go with it. i stole this from one of those blogs. some of these things i don't necessarily want to do, and that'll be notated.

1 Attend at least one major sporting event: not sure if it counts. but i have been to a bronco game, a rockies game, an avalanche game, and a nuggets game. and while living here, there has been the world series played, although i did not attend.

2 Throw a huge party and invite every single one of my friends. i guess my house warming party in the summer of 2006, although i would not categorize it as huge.

3 Swim with a dolphin. i did this in Cozumel, Mexico in January 2005.

4 Skydive. i could definitely live the rest of my life without this one happening.

5 Have my portrait painted. ditto

6 Learn to speak a foreign language. i do know some spanish and american sign language (yes, i realize that isn't a foreign language.)

7 Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.

8 Watch the launch of the space shuttle in person.

9 Spend a whole day eating junk food without feeling guilty. um, i've probably done this one too many times in my past life.

10 Be an extra in a film.

11 Learn to rollerblade.

12 Own a room with a view. i'm not too sure what is classified as a "view", but since i do own my house, and since it does technically have a room with a view, i'll go ahead and cross this one off of my list.

13 Brew my own beer. no desire whatsoever to do this one.

14 Participate in a Triathlon. maybe, someday.

15 Ride in a blimp. that would be fun.

16 Drive the Extraterrestrial Highway in Nevada and see Area 51. i could take it or i could leave it.

17 Kick a field goal from the 30-yard line. this would only be worthwhile if i could do it on an actual professional football field.

18 Buy a round-the-world air ticket use it. sign me up please!

19 Visit the northernmost, southernmost, easternmost, and westernmost points in
the United States. well i have been to alaska so i would say that covers the north. and i have been to key west, fl which covers the south.

20 Give my mother a dozen red roses and tell her you love her for no reason. i have done this, but not in the form of dozen red roses.

21 Be a member of the audience in a TV show.

22 Visit every national park in the United States. There are 56 of them. i've been to a few.

23 Send a message in a bottle.

24 Ride a camel into the desert.

25 Get to know my neighbors. i did get to know my old neighbors that i no longer have. justin and kelly were really nice.

26 Plant a tree. i'm sure i did this in middle school or something.

27 Learn not to say yes when you really mean no. i've done this. i'm good at not doing something that i don't want to do.

28 Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite hero

29 Visit the Senate and the House of Representatives to see how Congress really works. when i took a tour of the Colorado state capitol, i learned quite a bit about this, but i probably can't explain it. in fact i know i can't.

30 Learn to ballroom dance properly. i would LOVE to do this one, one day.

31 Learn to cook a gourmet meal. i've done this for a handful of people.

32 Be the boss. no desire to be the boss.

33 Fall deeply and madly in love, hopelessly and unconditionally. i've been there once in my life.

34 Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia.

35 Sit on a jury.

36 Write the novel. my blog is my novel.

37 Ride a cable car in San Francisco. i should have done this when i was in San Francisco.

38 Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home. oh i've done this a couple of times in my 21st year of life.

39 Drink beer at Oktoberfest in Munich. i don't drink beer, but i would drink a beer at Oktoberfest in Munich.

40 Be someone’s mentor.

41 Shower in a waterfall.

42 Ask for a raise.

43 Invent something useful and patent it.

44 Teach someone illiterate to read.

45 Earn, save, and invest enough money to retire comfortably by age 55. i'm working on it.

46 Spend a night in a haunted house — by myself. i would never.

47 Write down your personal mission statement, follow it, and revise it from time to time.

48 See a lunar eclipse. i think i saw one in elementary school.

49 Spend New Year’s in an exotic location. i'm working on it.

50 Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it.

51 Experience weightlessness. does swimming count?

52 Give blood.

53 Fly first class. i did this once on a flight from seattle to denver. the flight was full, and the person who gave up their sit was in first class. it was awesome. although i was afraid to order a dr. pepper because i thought i would have to pay for it. ...i was 19 at the time, and an inexperienced flyer.

54 Camp across America from coast to coast.

55 Own a dog. Teach it cool tricks. the childhood dog was Lady, i didn't teach her much, but she was mine. she lived to be 18, and pasted away in january 2004.

56 Own one very expensive but absolutely wonderful business suit.

57 Write my will.

58 Sleep under the stars. i've been camping.

59 Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in the country. not too sure where this is, but i have been on a couple of pretty high roller coasters.

60 Learn to play classical piano. i could take a pass on this one.

61 Go wild in Rio during Carnival.

62 Spend a whole day reading a great novel.

63 Scuba Dive.

64 Learn to juggle with three balls. i've tried.

65 Drive the Autobahn.

66 Make Master Coordinator with Shaklee. i don't even know what that means.

67 Spend Christmas on the beach drinking pina coladas.

68 Go to the top of the Sears Tower. i did this in october 2008.

69 Raft through the Grand Canyon.

70 Donate money and put my name on something. i donate monthly to the children's hospital of denver, and the denver rescue mission. and i put my name on a lot of things.

71 Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want. i've been doing this for the past 4 and a half years.

72 Grow a garden.

73 Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape. i've done this for the past 2 years.

74 Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring. i did this my freshmen year of HS after the thespian banquet in may 2005 in justin berg's car. i don't remember what type of car it was, but i do remember it was a convertible. i remember being in the back of the car singing at the top of my lungs and my hair going crazy. it was a blast!

75 Accept myself for who I am. i'm working on it.

76 Learn to use a microphone and give a speech in public.

77 Scuba dive off Australia’s Great Barrier Reef.

78 Go up in a hot-air balloon.

79 Attend one really huge rock concert.

80 Go to the pro football hall of fame.

81 Be able to handle: your tax forms, Jehovah’s Witnesses, your banker, telephone solicitors.

82 Give to a charity — anonymously.

83 Lose more money than you can afford in Vegas. i've definitely done this. most recently when i was there last in March.

84 Let someone feed you peeled, seedless grapes. i'm ok if this one doesn't happen.

85 Visit Graceland.

86 Go to a Patriots Game.

87 Go to a concert at Carnegie Hall.

88 Go deep sea fishing and eat my catch.

89 Understand the stock market.

90 Visit the Holy Land.

91 Take a cruise. i've been on 4 cruises. i think they are the best way to vacation. one when i was in middle school (california and mexico), june 1998 (california and mexico), summer 2003 (alaska), and january 2005 (Caribbean).

92 Run to the top of the Statue of Liberty. i didn't exactly run, but i have been to the crown of the statue of liberty in the summer of 1999.

93 Create my Family Tree.

94 Catch a ball in the stands of a major league baseball stadium. i hope this one doesn't happen, as the ball would hit my head not my hands.

95 Make a whole in one. i've done this multiple times while playing miniature golf.

96 Ski a double-black diamond run.

97 Learn to bartend.

98 Ride a mechanical bull.

99 Hike at least part of the Appalachian Trail.

28ish out of 99 ain't bad.

the mixx 60min

Sunday, October 17, 2010

not enough time

lots to say. no time to blog.

except to document the workout of course.

stay tuned...

STRIKE! 60min

Saturday, October 16, 2010

week 29: something different

so i'm going to switch gears and change things up. no more weekly updates. this is for my own mental self. it has been a couple of months (if i'm being honest, which i am) since i have followed slimgenics, and i feel as thought the weight i have lost in the past few months although minimal i have done without the slimgenics plan. although credit is due to the fact that i do now know what to eat and seek out when eating due to slimgenics. but this plan isn't really something that i follow now, so i don't feel the need to do my weekly updates specifically in regards to this plan that i'm no longer doing. so i'll just update as i feel necessarily. which is what i do anyways.

as i've said i have some other things brewing and i will share those eventually.

i feel that once a change needs to happen it just needs to happen. and i've felt a change on the horizon for quite awhile.
do know this. just because slimgenics is no longer part of the picture doesn't mean my weight loss is also out of the picture. the exact opposite in fact. throughout this whole process i've been taking mental notes in regards to what i like and what i don't like. so that i can create my own plan for my own life. so that is what's going to be different.

i read a lot of weight loss blogs and when something stops working you have to acknowledge it and change it. that is what i'm doing. granted i know that slimgenics works but it no longer works for me and my lifestyle. i figure it is time that i recognize that and do something about it.

this seems to be perfect timing as well, as today was the day that i was suppose to hit my goal weight of 145 with slimgenics. i have it marked on my calendar. 145 goal. this is not a reality. and it may not ever be...more and more i'm thinking i'll be happy at 155...but that is a post for another day. i'm not beating myself up about not being at my goal. throughout the past few months i've created a life in which i would much rather have than be at 145 and still have the life that i had when i first started slimgenics. and this life that is worth it. it is worth not being at 145. and i know that. so i will let it be. such is life. such is my life.
run/walk 40min

Thursday, October 14, 2010

all kinds of crazy

i highly recommend you go see
the social network
aka the facebook movie.


i love putting on clean, warm,
so so comfy.


i'm so excited to be
only working out
5 days this week.


saturday is bosses day.


i need to buy


i didn't pre-write
any random thoughts
for today's post.
i'm already running out of


i've had to use
the heater
the last three nights.


that's all i got.

oh and i almost forgot.
my friend emily
featured me.
it brought tears to my eyes.
ok now, i'm done.
STRIKE! 60min

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

let's compare

lately i've been dealing with the reality that i may not ever see my body as what it is. that i'll always see my body at 265 pounds. that inside of my head i'll be that unhappy obese person. when i look in the mirror it is like i'm living a dream and that moment when i see my reflection is someone pinching me to wake me up. it is in that moment where i think i look "normal" and i stare back at myself wondering if this is truly what i look like. but then the mirror is gone along with the reflection, and so is the moment. it is at that point in time where i go back to looking what it is that i think i look like, without my true reflection in front of me.

i get my main reality from my clothes. the fact that i can now comfortably wear a size 14 pant, and a size M shirt. so i decided to take some pictures. to show myself that i am not that 265 pound person.
let's compare...
size 24W pant, with size 14 pant
now i have to say that these are the last of my fat pants, and not my biggest. i got rid of those before, then thought i should keep a pair so that i could compare at a moment like this. so the point is i did have pants that were larger than these.
size XXL top, with a size M top
i think about the person on the left that wore these clothes. how unhappy she was. how she was just going along with life, not really thinking about doing anything, but wanting to do something.
then i look at the person on the right. how cute she is. how she knows that this is the life that she wants. that she still has some hard work to do, but that she can do it.
going shopping is now fun. i know i've said this before, but i can now go into any story and try on just about anything. i am officially a size 14 pant, which i truly don't ever remember being. i can vaguely remember a time in middle school where i was a size 16, but never a 14. whenever i thought about losing weight i always told myself that my goal would be a size 12. well when i was home i tried on a size 12....i literally squeezed into them, but i got them buttoned and zipped on!!! granted i can't wear them out in public, but i got them on. i might just get to a size 10! i have also recently gone bra shopping. i went from a 40C to a 36C, and my ring size went from a size 7 to a size 5. ...i have seriously tiny fingers. and i need at least 3 links taken out of my watch. ...i can take off my watch without having to unlatch it. i even got some new workout clothes! no more super baggy pants and t-shirts. i now have cute workout clothes, and i love it! the only thing i haven't purchased new is pajama's. which might have to be next on the list. mainly because my PJ's are so big that they get all twisted when i sleep and get uncomfortable. i take that back, PJ's aren't next on the list. ...what's next is a winter coat. the winter coat i wore last winter is from old navy. it's an XXL peacoat, and it literally just hangs on me now.

my clothes are my reality. while shopping on monday my mom and i went into banana republic. i tried on everything! a pair of $80 jeans, a $200 coat, some tops....all so cute. we left the store empty handed, as it is silly to spend that much on something that'll only fit me for one season. but it was!!!
zumba 60min

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

the rest of the trip

in the middle of doing albuquerque's race for the cure on sunday i got some great family and friend time squeezed into my trip home. this trip was filled with some great time. i flew home saturday midday and immediately went to visit my uncle billy in the hospital. he is doing much better and is on his way to hopefully a full recovery. in addition to visiting my uncle i also got to see a great family friend mary. it was great to see both of them, along with some other family members visiting as well. i hadn't seen majority of these family members since february, and it was such a rewarding feeling to have them see my hard work. majority of them told me they hardly recognized me.
the afternoon was off to church, where i saw a friend from HS that i haven't seen in probably 11 years? she was with her newborn 1 month old girl, so cute! it was a pleasant surprise to see her, as whenever i go to church with my parents i always think of her.
after church we went out to eat to celebrate my mom's birthday! we went to red lobster and had a blast! my mother isn't a drinker, and she had 3 glasses of wine. ...she left telling everyone "i don't think i've ever had 3 glasses of wine." it was a comical sight to see!
happy birthday mom!
my mom a little bit drunk and enjoying some crab legs! - she's so cute.
my mom reading her bday gift from me
"only one you"
a cute little book

birthday pic
mom, me, and dad

sunday after the race i went down to the new albuquerque hard rock hotel and casino to watch my cousin's husbands new band the duke city saints play. it was beautiful outside, and lots of fun!
the duke city saints

on monday mom and i went shopping! ...more on that later.
barbell strength 60min

Monday, October 11, 2010

ABQ Race for the Cure

pre race: me, mom, and michelle
pre race: arriving at isotopes park
the race
post race: proud dad and daughter
post race: me, mom, and michelle
post race: mom, dad, and daughter

so yesterday i did another 5K. the Race for the Cure in Albuquerque. it was the perfect excuse to go home for a short weekend.
the race was a lot of fun. it started and ended at isotopes park, which is the baseball team in albuquerque, although rumor as it that the duke's are coming back? anyways. one of my bestest friends Michelle did this race with me, and we agreed to just do it on our own so that neither one of us would feel like we were keeping the other behind. i totally agreed and was immediately relieved. the biggest difference between this race and last weeks race was at this race i had cheerleaders. my parents! my mom and dad were there at the finish line to hug and congratulate me! that was a great feeling. my dad told me he was proud of my and hugged me tight, and that in itself was worth the trip alone!
unfortunately i didn't beat my time, and finished this 5k in 40 minutes. i get so frustrated with myself, because i know i could have pushed myself more, and have no excuse for not pushing myself more, except for my own laziness. i do have another 5k that i'm doing in 2 weeks, and this one will be with all of my gym friends, hopefully that'll force me to push myself and i'll end with a better time.
this route did have a part that was uphill, and although it was a really small incline, it was an still a challenge, and i let that get the best (or worse) of me.
it seems to be that i'm totally getting into this whole race thing.
seriously who is this chick?! i'm thinking i'll keep her around for awhile.
5k 40min

Saturday, October 9, 2010

week 28: no change

so no change in the numbers this week. which all in all i'm ok with because last week was such a good week. i'm trying to get re-focused....again.

this week wasn't too hot in the food category but pretty kick butt in the workout category. i have worked out 6 days, and for 2 hours each on sunday and monday. i'm proud of myself for getting my butt to the gym this morning before i fly home to NM for the weekend, even if it was a super short "lazy" workout, i'm still counting it.
if only this weight would just come off with working out!!! but no such luck, food is half the battle. and in my case the long big up hill mountain battle. the battle that i can't seem to concur.
i suppose it is good that i realize that this is my weakness. i probably knew that all along, but it really wasn't until recently that my conscience realized it as well. in knowing this i also know that food will be the thing i battle with for the rest of my life. and i'm ok with that, because i know what i need to do.

i have a few ideas in the works to help keep my accountable. part of my master plan if you will. although not all that "master" if it is something i just recently thought of. :)

anyways, lots of other things going on, as my mind is rather occupied at the moment. i figure this is enough of an update for now.
elliptical 40min

Friday, October 8, 2010

all kinds of crazy

and now back to our regular


i'm so behind in my TV viewing.
i'm thinking i'm going to have
to get rid of my
i've been watching this soap
for the past 5+
change is coming.


speaking of change.
i'm putting in my application to be
the next priorfatgirl.
that could be exciting!


my 500th post
is coming up.
i want to do something
but i have no clue what to do.


i helped steal
a jungle today.
well not really
but sorta.
it was fun,
i laughed hard.


i love getting snuggles
from little ayden.


i wish i had
unlimited vacation
oh, and unlimited money.


lately i keep forgetting
to take my daily vitamins.
i need to get back in that habit.


i had to wear dress socks
today for the first time
in probably 6 months.
BOO! i'm not a fan of socks.


random text for random thought thursday (friday):
"by the way your eyebrows
look great :)"
thanks sarah.

50/50 60min