my back

A post isn't a post without a picture of Helena.  7/4/15 day after I hurt my back.  I look happy but I'm in pain.

Thankfully my injured back from 2 and half weeks ago seems like a thing of the past, but for documentation sake I want to remember the details.

It was Friday July 3^rd, I had the day off as the holiday for July 4^th.  I was super excited to go to Dance Jam in the morning!  The gym was overly crowded from the holiday (that’s what I think anyways) so I had to park even farther away (further than normal) from the entrance to the gym.  I had Helena with me and I didn’t want to carry her all the way to the daycare so I carried her into the gym in my Beco carrier (this was the first time I’ve done this).  

It was the last 10-15 minutes of class and we were doing my current favorite song: “Centuries” by Fall Out Boy.  This is one of the songs that I know all of the choreography to, so I always look forward to it and just jam out in my own little world since I don’t need to look at Sarah (the instructor) for the routine.  And since I know all of the moves to this song I jam out hard!  There is part of the song where you do a squat forward while head banging your head, and that’s when I felt it.  I immediately felt the pain and discomfort in my lower left back.  This was about half way through the song, and I somehow completed the song.  I tried to do the next song (another favorite: “Your lips are moving, your lips are moving…”) but I couldn’t.  I could barely bend down to pick up my water bottle, and when I tried to get my towel off of the floor I got tears in my eyes.  I walked out of class.  I was scared.  Who knows if it looked “off” but I felt like I was walking funny, and I had to take the stairs one by one to get down to the locker room and to get Helena.  It was a weird place to all of a sudden be injured and moving so slowly while all of these people are moving swiftly going along their day. 

Anyways I got to my locker and put on my carrier while thinking I was so thankful I brought it, as I know that had I not had my carrier with me I would not have been able to carry Helena all the way back to my car.  I go get Helena from the daycare and ask one of caregivers to hand her to me as I couldn’t bend down to get her, all while I’m fighting tears.  I very slowly walk to my car and basically throw Helena into her car seat, at which she started crying.  I felt so bad, so then I started crying.  I got her all buckled in and called Chris to advise him of my injury.  Upon my arrival home Helena was asleep so Chris came to get her and put her down, then Chris came back to the car to help me into the house.  He got some ice and I plopped onto the couch.  It hurt so bad.  Later that afternoon my in-laws arrived.  The pain was agonizing.  Chris had to help me do everything, and so it was also incredibly embarrassing.  The only things I really remember about being home that day is keeping my back iced and Chris having to help me go to the bathroom.  I think at some point I contacted a friend who is also a instructor at the gym and also a physical therapist, seeking her opinion on my back. 

The next day was the 4^th of July.  After a painful night’s sleep (I did get some sleep) I woke up with the brilliant idea to take a cold shower and that the cold water pounding on my back would be good.  I had previously heard Chris get up and assumed he would be in the house if I needed to yell at him for help.  I screamed myself into the shower and once I got in and realized I couldn’t lift my hands to do my hair I knew I had made a mistake.  I seriously couldn’t take my hands off of my hips.  So I stumbled out of the shower, somehow got a towel around me and fell to the floor while I screamed and screamed for Chris.  When I succumbed to the fact that the house was empty I did the next logical thing: cry.  Chris finally came into the bedroom to see what I assumed look like a big dead whale on the floor.  I can’t remember how exactly I got up off of the floor but we eventually solved the puzzle and got me to my feet.  I knew I wanted to get out of the house for the holiday so that afternoon we made our way to the 4^th of July festivities.  This was the day I found that getting up and moving was much better than sitting.  

The next day was when we went to the pool.  This is where I took advantage of being “weightless” and tried to stretch out my back as much as possible.  On Monday 7/6 I booked a morning appointment with Lori and she advised me I strained my back in three different spots.  She showed me some stretches to help increase my mobility and advised me that I will get better.  Going into work was horrible.  I felt like I was walking like a stick was up my a$$ and to the side.  One co-worker looked at me and said “You look crooked.”  On Thursday I even went and got a 90 minute massage hoping that would help, but it didn't really.  By Friday 7/10 morning I was over it.  Who knows if something did get worse or it was just living with this chronic pain, but Friday morning I couldn’t get comfortable.  Every position I would try and sit in was uncomfortable so I kept adjusting and out of frustration and pain I just kept crying.  I thankfully had Friday off since my parents were in town.  I called my doctor’s office and got an appointment for that afternoon.  The doctor again advised me I would feel normal again and he advised giving me a shot.  I do not like needles.  The last time I got my blood drawn I passed out.  So I opted for the shot to me administer in the butt….and wow am I glad I did.  It took some convincing from the doctor to get this shot, and I’m glad I finally said “I guess.”  This shot seriously took away all of my pain!  I was able to get down on the floor and fully do all of the stretched that Lori told me about and I was able to feel “normal” again!  

Since then things have all been up hill.  I’ve had some discomfort but the past two days I’ve been essentially pain free!  I haven’t worked out yet but I’m super anxious to get back into the gym!

I gotta give a special shout out to my hot husband who was there for all my “fits” and emotional outbursts!  And for truly seeing me at my worse, and for massaging my back for a week straight!  Thank you for taking care of me, I love you.

This injury brought me a glimpse of what it could be like to live with chronic pain, I honestly don’t know how people do it.  It even hurt to sneeze or cough (the closest thing I can describe it to is the pain you experience when you have a c-section and it hurts to laugh/sneeze/cough, this was the same type of pain but in your back).  This injury as given me new motivation to get all of this extra weight off.  To be healthy and to not take my moving pain-free body for granted.    

An update on Me

My friend Sarah posted this back in August, and it's really stuck with me, and for this post, it'll be used as a segway into me, and where I am in my healthiness journey.  Here's the whole caption:

"Whether you power walk, dance Zumba, ride a bike, do Crossfit, follow Insanity, downward dog at sunrise or just made it from your couch to the front door of the gym, you're already doing great. Keep moving, keep going. Recovering from a second c-section has changed my perspective on what it means to be fit and what it is to have a strong body. I have a lot of work to do, this for sure. I have weight to lose. You, newbie, back there in the corner of the group fitness room hoping you don't get busted out in class, I get it. I'm there with you. Let's work together, let's keep moving. Don't stop coming to class. You, super fit person, who has no time to wait for the newbie, I know you. I've been there too. I remember what it feels like so I'll catch up to you soon. Everyone come together and find out what awesome things your body can do for you! Let's be thankful we all keep moving every damn day."

 

Granted I've never had a c-section, but I can truly relate to being across the board with my fit-self.  I started and stopped so many times prior to ballooning up to 265 in the summer of 2008, and ever since I started (again) in the fall of 2008 I honestly don't feel like I've ever stopped.  I have definitely had some draw backs, and I think it's safe to say that the last year I've gone backwards, but I've never, ever stopped.  And for that I'm proud.  I've slowed down.  And I predict sometime in the future I'll go full steam ahead like I once did in 2009 and 2010.  Since I've returned to blogging I haven't really discussed my weight, but I feel like my readers are probably wondering where I'm at.  So I figured an update was due, along with some other thoughts on the subject.  My update is:  I'm still trying.  I am definitely not down any weight, in fact I've gained more weight since last I spoke on the subject.  No need to beat me up about it, I've done that enough.  I know I may sound like a broken record, but there you have it.  I'm uncomfortable, disappointed, and disgusted with myself.  Not all of my hard work of losing 90 pounds is out the door (thank goodness) but once I get at it full steam ahead, it's discouraging to know that a lot the pounds I'll be losing, I'll be losing for the second time around.  It's interesting, because I know I've thought I would never be one of those to regain lost weight.  Especially in the matter of 12 months, but that is obviously not the case.  I wish I had a turning point, or a event that caused it all, but I don't.  I got lazy.  Sure I could blame getting married, adjusting to married life, such big transitions, but that's no excuse.  If I really wanted to maintain I could have. 

I think one of the biggest changes are in the way I'm treated.  I definitely noticed changes in the way people treated me as I was going through the actual weight loss, and all of it being very positive.  But now that I'm going the opposite direction, it's different.  I was trying to think of a way to word it because it's not obvious.  People aren't out right mean or rude, people are plenty nice.  They just aren't as warm.  Not as sincere, it's something in there demure.  Body language and attitude.  I think it's because people are trying so hard to act normal, like nothing has changed.  Do I want people to acknowledge it, and come right out at ask: "Have you gained weight?"  No, I don't want that.  It's obvious.  But just because people don't ask, doesn't mean I can't tell.  It's a weird experience going from one extreme to the other.  I notice it everywhere.  At work, at the gym, and with strangers.  Strangers ignore fat people.  Rarely make eye contact, and just try to act as if they don't see you.  Its unfortunate but true.  People gravitate toward attractive people, and when you aren't attractive, you don't get noticed. 

 

So I'm currently back at the back of the group fitness classes (being shy and unfamiliar with my surroundings), and usually when I do go to the gym it's either on the treadmill or the elliptical which has always been my "easy" go-to workout.  And my normal workout time is around 35-45 minutes.  One day I'll be back at the front in class (executing all of the moves with sharpness and knowing what I'm doing) showing the goods, and working out 60+ minutes.  I remember when I was there, I used to think a 35 minute was just a warm up, and I used to think it was funny that once upon a time I actually thought working out for 35 minutes was a work out.  And well now, I'm super proud of myself for getting to the front door of the gym, walking inside, and actually doing something.  This is all part of my journey, and just a piece of where I'm going.

March Weigh-In

I had another large does of reality today.  And I mean "large" in every sense of the word.  I've decided to hold myself more accountable.  So the first Saturday of every month, I'm going to have a weigh-in and write about it.  I don't have a plan per se, which I feel is just setting myself up for failure, but I have to start somewhere.  I figured a good starting point was to see the number on the scale.  I got up this morning after a very nice nights rest, and went to the gym.  I stepped on the scale the first time since sometime last summer: 205.  My first thought: crap, I'm in the 200's.  I seriously didn't think I was that bad.  Seriously.  I thought maybe in the 190's, but surely not a number beginning with that god-awful 2.  But there it was starring at me right in the face: 205.  Two hundred and five pounds.  That's a gain of 31 pounds since my all time low.  No wonder none of my clothes fit me.  But at the same time it's kinda crazy what I can still squeeze my fat a$$ into after such a gain. 
After seeing that number and heading up to get reacquainted with the treadmill, I had a good workout to sort out all of thoughts in regards to this weight gain. 
It's a weird feeling not being comfortable at the gym.  This gym used to be my home.  I used walk around confidently, look for people who I knew, say hi, be social.  But now more than anything my gym feels like a foreign place.  No familiar faces, definitely no confidence in my walk, just go in put away my things in the locker, do my work out, and leave. 
My first goal is to work out 10 times this month.  It's sad to say but I'm pretty sure that since I've met and been with Chris, the most I've been to the gym is maybe 5 times in a month.  Considering I used to be in there at least 20 times in a month, I figured 10 was a good number, since it is a long month it seems totally doable.  One down, nine to go. 
As I was leaving for the gym I got excited as I noticed daylight savings time begins next Sunday.  I'm definitely not looking forward to losing that hour of sleep next weekend, but I will love having that extra hour of daylight!  It makes me feel good as I know that will effect me meeting my goal of 10 workouts this month. 
It feels weird starting over.  Which I feel like I am.  But so many things are different.  I know I'm not 265, which is good, and I feel like I have to point out something positive.  I'm struggling a lot with my motivation.  In the past I feel like I did my weight loss anonymously, and this time around I don't feel so anonymous.  But I still feel alone.  I do have loving and awesome support from my husband.  He's always been there to encourage me, and to tell me I could go workout everyday if I wanted to.  But it was my choice to stay home, not his.  Motivation used to come so easily to me, just like working out used to come so easily to me.  I used to motivate people.  I'm nowhere near the person I used to be.  I miss her. 
I'm going to spend the month of March working on my cardio.  I did 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning, mostly walking...and I left feeling like I was dying.  40 minutes on the treadmill mostly jogging used to be a walk in the park.  But again, I have to start somewhere.  The big goal for this month is get out of the 200's.  Lose those 5 pounds, and have a weight that starts with a "1" again.  I'm so thankful for the upcoming warmer months and longer days.  Just what I need. 

being injured

i hurt my foot. this sucks. i'm trying to not make it worse, but not going to the gym is just not an option. when i seriously think about someone telling me that i can't workout, my heart literally breaks. the gym has been the one consistent, and stable thing in my life the past 2 and half years. yes i have work, but work is a "have to" not a want. in reality i don't have to go to the gym, i want to go to the gym. of course majority of the time i go kicking and screaming because i really don't want to go, but i suppose i do because i do keep going. anyways...this could go on.

on wednesday i decided my whole workout would be on the treadmill. i wanted to really see what i could do with one hour on the god awful machine. see how much i could run and just go. so that is what i did. i ran for about 40 minutes with about three - 2 minute breaks of fast walking. so within that actual 40 minutes i guess that i probably ran about 34 minutes of that time. the last 20 minutes was a fast walk. when i got home i noticed that my left shoe was loose, and just about fell off my foot when i took off my shoes. i didn't think anything of it. the next day my left hurt so bad i was limping around. i immediately knew it was from my time spent on the treadmill. but didn't know the cause. what hurt was the very bottom of my foot. sorta like the pain that you've had from walking around being on your feet all day. but worse. on the bus ride home on thursday i was texting my friend and personal trainer sarah along with my friend and physical therapist christina to get their opinion on working out. i knew that strike! was out of the question. christina recommended either the bike or stair climber, sarah recommended taking a few days off. i ended up on the bike. i told christina about my shoe being loose and she thinks that while i was the treadmill i was probably contracting my toes to keep my shoe on which is why the bottom of my foot hurts.

since then i like to think that my foot is getting better. both sarah and christina gave me some tips that i've been doing, and today it definitely feels the best, but i haven't really been on my feet today like i have been at work since hurting my foot. i've stuck with the bike workout which i really don't like, but at least it is something.

i'm hoping for a full recovery soon. this is the one big draw back of working out, getting injured. it is so demotivating. it makes you ask why you even do the things that you do, just to hurt yourself?!, and put yourself out of commission. granted i'm not totally out, but i am missing my normal workouts.

bike 45min
triceps/biceps/back

define this...?

My friend April recently shared this blog post with me, and it got me thinking. I realize that we all have different fitness goals, things that we want to achieve, and ways that we want to look. In my opinion a lot of that is formed by what you were at your starting point. For example the woman in this blog, Jen. Her heaviest weight was 170. I have no idea how tall she is, but to think that her “fat” was 170 and my current “thin” is 175…well thinking about that can truly mess with your head, if you let it. I’m trying to not let it mess with me. I look at her “before” pictures and to me she looks fine, then looking at her “after” pictures I personally think she is too thin. Then I think about me, and I know that I’ll never ever look like that, mainly because I don’t want to look like that. Now don’t get me wrong, all of us are very different, and I commend Jen for finding her healthy and what’s important is that she is happy with herself, which I think is what we are all striving for on some level. But I think if she looks at herself as being “ugly” at 170, what in the world would she imagine if she saw me?! Now or even at my heaviest. But don’t judge a book by its cover. I know how hard I work, and most of you (my readers) know how hard I work as well. Do I consider myself “ugly” at 175? No. Do I still have some weight to lose? Yes. We are all different.

Last week before going into my barbell strength class I ran/jogged on the treadmill for 14 minutes. Lots of time while I’m on a stationary machine with nothing to occupy myself but my own thoughts I think about my insides. That although I’m still considered an “overweight” person, I still consider myself a healthy person. I do believe that you can be both at the same time. I tell myself that not every 175 pound person can run for 14 minutes or a 150 person for that matter. But because I go to the gym 5 days a week the insides of my body are just as healthy (if sometimes not healthier) than a person at 150 pounds or less even. I had a moment when I got off the treadmill last week. I made eye contact with this guy (rather cute, I might add) and the look on his face was one of “Wow did that woman just run on the treadmill?” Almost like WOW someone that size can move at that pace for that length of time? Now I’m sure I’m making this out to be a lot more than what he was, because he probably thought nothing of it, but rather these are my thoughts. I was thinking “did I really just do that?!” A lot of the time I still doubt myself and my abilities of what I can and cannot do. I suppose that is what my friends are for!

In the post Jen also writes about being ashamed. She writes about not wanting people to know who she “used to be”. When I think about myself, I’m the exact opposite. I want people to know who I used to be, where I come from. I want them to see all of the hard work that I’ve done. I have a strange comfort talking about my journey and my weight loss to just about anyone. If you ask me a question, I will answer it. If you want to see “before” pictures, I will show you. If I’m ashamed of anything, it is not doing something sooner, and getting to be as big as I used to be. And not because of the person that I was, but because of the physical aspects of that person I’ll never be able to get rid of (unless it is surgically removed.) Of course, I’m talking about my loose skin. Specifically my arms…which really is a whole post in and of itself. I digress.

In general right now, I’m very happy with my healthy lifestyle. Right now I define being “fit” as a person who has lost 90 pounds of fat, works out, and tries to live a healthy lifestyle in general. I know that the changes I’ve done over the past 2 and half years have literally added years onto my life. Years that I plan to live and enjoy. I also know that my definition of being fit is unique to myself. I am only me, and I can only work on myself. Each one of us is different therefore each one of us should define being fit differently. All of us have different bodies and different goals. Ask yourself the question: What is your fit definition?

runner's high

my first ever race, at the finish line

race for the cure 5k ~ october 2008

by no means do i consider myself a runner. yes i do run, usually for short intervals at a time, then i slow down and i walk. i do, do races, but mainly i run because i know that overall it is the best form of cardiovascular activity that helps tone the whole body. last summer during one of my outdoor runs i got to 3/4 quarter mile and started walking. at that point that had been the longest distance i had ever ran. lately i've been slowly increasing my time running on the treadmill and have come close to crossing that one mile line.

today was that day.

today i ran one mile!!! in exactly 12 minutes 29 seconds.

well technically i kept going. i didn't slow down until i hit 1.15 miles. then i walked for a couple of minutes, then i started running again.

ok, so i understand that to most this is not a big deal. that most people run a whole mile with ease and have always been able to do that. not me. so for me this is a huge accomplishment, and i am proud!
i can remember PE class in elementary school and being told to run a mile. i dreaded this. granted i hated PE and most physical activity in general, but the mile? i loathed it. we had to run around this track 4 times to complete the mile. i always ended up walking, and i always ended up last. just thinking about it i want to cry. i've come so far. and it feels good.

literally one mile at a time.

so much of this game is mental. i've been mentally preparing myself for this milestone for at least the past 2 weeks. every single time i would get on that freakin' treadmill i would prepare and think: "is today the day?" will i run a whole mile today without stopping? to be honest, i'm sure that my physical self has been ready and willing to run a whole mile for quite sometime. but mental self, not so much. until today.

today is a huge victory for me! and now i must keep on going. race season is coming up, and i have some races to prepare for. i need to keep on going.

treadmill 35min
elliptical 25min

not a lot going on

my life the last few weekends has been pretty boring. i haven't seen M for the past two weeks. we've kept somewhat in touch but just haven't seen each other. he sent me a text late last week saying "i'm not ignoring you, just busy studying for my test next week." on friday he takes his journeyman test. i know he is anxious to get the test over with. i'm sure he'll do great. i saw R this past wednesday. leaving him wednesday night i had a nice calming feeling know that was going to be the last time i'll see him. he's a great guy but the fact that past few times that we've seen one another is by my doing bothers me, and while hanging out with him i've found somethings about him i don't like. for example, he doesn't appreciate the things that he has. he always talks about wanting more. which there is nothing wrong with that, but you have to be happy with what is that you have. be thankful for that. you can always strive for more, but you gotta be happy with the things around you. that's an important trait for me. being alone the past few weekends has given me the realization that it's ok to hang out by myself. now of course i've always known this, but having nothing going on and not reaching out to either M or R to hang out with someone just for pure fact to hang out with someone was good. it was good for me. i was proud that i realized i'm better than that. i want something more than just to have company just to have company. plus it is always a very empowering feeling when you know that hanging out with just yourself is pretty darn cool...because hey i'm pretty freakin' awesome if you haven't heard! :) in workout news. today i took my second ever master step class. i tried it last sunday, and was totally out of the loop. it is very technical and choreographed. at the end of class last week Stacie announced that this sunday's choreography would be the same. so i wanted to try again, to get the steps down. well while doing one of the steps over the step i fell, right on my ass. so not fun, and i could tell i landed weird on my ankle. i was fine overall, and immediately got up and was trying not to cry out of sheer embarrassment. there were a few times i wanted to just leave, because i felt so out of my element. but, i pushed through it, and continued on, and got all of the steps down!!! my ankle is a little bit tender now, but all is good.

master step 60min

pity party

Last night I gave into temptation. My couch got the best of me. When I woke up yesterday morning to a dusting of snow I immediately knew the gym was not going to make an appearance in what is my normal Monday workout. I just wasn't feelin' it. Granted I don't feel like going to the gym most of the time, but I force myself to go anyways. I of course, talked myself out of it as the day went on. Basically telling myself that I deserved a night off. I was (am) feeling sorry for myself. The gym is the one constant and stable thing in my life right now. Always there, open 24 hours a day, gives me a great feeling, so I guess in a way I wanted to disappoint the one thing that has been there for me the past 2 and half years. Setting myself up for self destruction I guess. Take the one good thing, and turn it against me?! I’m nervous about my job, worried about my friends/co-workers that might lose their job, I’m sad that I’ve gotten no attention lately from either M or R, I want to plan my year but am uncertain about my finances. Frustrated that I can’t seem to find a quality guy to date but that my friends are finding quality people. Of course that is jealously and that’s not attractive, and I know that. But if I am one thing, it is honest. So I declared last night a mental health night, zoned out, ate some pizza, watched some TV, and threw myself a little pity party. And you know what? It felt good. I got it out of my system if you will, and now staying home just isn’t an option. I don’t have that nagging devil screaming in my ear “don’t go the gym April…you know you don’t want to go April…just take the night off April…the gym is lame, all the cool kids stay home…” So tonight I went and did barbell. Lifting weights is always good. Low key, and the hour goes by fairly quickly. Then tonight I talked with a good friend of mine, we talked about our healthiness journey. How it will always be a struggle. I told her about what I read today on a Prior Fat Girl blog. I also told her about the comment that I posted. That you can't look at it as the rest of your life. I think that if you do that, you set yourself up for failure. Because that is just overbearing. It is too much. Of course you know that you will do it for the rest of your life, but you make that decision everyday. Take each day, individually. One day at a time.

barbell strength 60min

knock knock

another first happened tonight...well i'm pretty sure i've never done this before. tonight i did two classes back to back. a full 120 minutes of gym time!

barbell strength...

...and Step!

I’ve been going to the gym consistently for 2 and a half years now. I’ve seen people do two classes back to back before. And there have been times I’ve thought about doing something so crazy. Well today I was that crazy. I did Barbell Strength and Step.

Barbell is my main Tuesday workout. I mainly did this because Step had Stacie as the instructor. Stacie was filling in, and I love Stacie. She’s an awesome instructor. I’m not a big fan of Step, but she makes if fun. She has something in her voice that just keeps pushing you. After barbell I feel like a pile of jello. My legs feel like they are going to give out under me, and it’s as though I can’t even lift my arms. But when opportunity knocks you gotta take it, right?! I’m a hella tired, and I hope to sleep good tonight, as I didn’t sleep too hot last night.

I was super slow in step, but I did it.

An hour of weights and an hour of cardio.

Here’s to my first ever 2 hour workout.

Good thing tomorrow is my day off!!!

* * *

I wrote the above before I left work. (i do that sometime, write my blog posts at work ahead of time so i'm not on the computer for forever when i get home.) And to be honest while I was driving to the gym for barbell at 5:30pm, I had myself convinced that I would just do barbell and leave. That I wanted that extra hour to myself, cook dinner, relax. Being at the gym from 5:30pm - 7:30pm was just a lot. I also kept going back and forth. I told myself I'll wait and see how I feel after barbell. Plus I put this declaration out there on Facebook. I didn't want to let down my friends who were (are) encouraging me. Then I thought about my blog. I knew I already had part of today's blog written, but that the writing was based on the fact that I do both classes. And if I didn't do both classes I would have to come up with a post from scratch. Christina was in barbell and she too was also planning on staying for step. Plus I knew both Denise and Annabelle would be doing step. Once barbell was over and I connected with my friends, I knew immediately that I wasn't going anywhere. Having them there pushing me even though they didn't have to say a word to me to convince me to stay, was such motivation for me to stay. There presence was all I needed! Because I knew that if they hadn't been there, I would have bailed!

Stacie's step was a blast, and the hour went by super fast. I definitely slowed down, and at times just had to step in place, but I kept moving the whole time. Annabelle is the master stepper and she kept up the whole time. Denise, Christina, and myself, um not so much. The three of us just had our own little "mess up" party in the corner a few times.

Now that I am home and giving my body a rest, I can tell that my joints and muscles are recuperating from something they have never done before...a 2 hour workout! It is so amazing that when you do something different, how your body reacts. Tomorrow I will be hurting, but it'll be a good, a really good hurt!

barbell strength 60min

step 60min

updated resolution 2011

I’ve been focused on my numbers for so long. I think that is because I knew I would need to establish a high number in order for it to be considered a habit. “It” of course being working out. I always knew that there would be a year where the number compared to the previous year would be smaller. And like so many things on this journey, I told myself I would deal with that when I got there. I am currently at that bridge, deciding what to do. January wasn’t a good month, and February doesn’t seem to be too hot either. I think because mentally my head is someplace else. I knew that in order for weight loss to be a success I would have to create a solid workout routine. Manage my workouts, and make sure that I was working out 5 days a week consistently. I have, in my opinion established that routine. My workout routine is something I'm very comfortable with. I now know it isn’t something I need to focus on. The habit is there, and I know it isn’t going anywhere. I no longer have a need to obsess about my numbers, but rather a want. I don’t want to stop working out, and I know that I won’t.

That leaves me with the reality that I probably won’t work out more than what I did last year, which was 254 times. And even though I didn’t set a specific number goal for 2011,I feel the need to update my goals for this year. Although after reading my resolution post for this year that I wrote at the beginning of last month, I’m not really changing anything. I still plan on working out between 200 – 240 this year, and I still plan on doing at least six 5k’s.

I suppose my main point is that for me my energy has shifted. Which is why I feel the need to update. The question I ask myself is no longer “How many times will I work out this year?” I don’t even think I have a question for myself for this year. Mainly, I think it is important to just go with the flow. This journey is all about change, and it is too hard to predict what could happen amongst all the change that’s already going on around me. At times it seems too much to keep up with.

Right now I think I need to focus on getting to that uncomfortable spot. Where I know the change will truly start to happen again. Big things are coming for me this year, but it is up to me to find these things. And the only way that'll happen is if I continue to push myself and be uncomfortable.

barbell strength 60min

no regrets

i'm struggling. it isn't bad, but still a struggle is a struggle. i only worked out 4 times this week. did i have the opportunity to work out 5?, yes. do i regret this?, no. however, i will say that this morning was hard. i don't have a "set" workout on saturday mornings. the class that i sometimes do, isn't a favorite, the instructor is just ok, so when i do skip this workout it's no big deal. plus saturday is the only morning i can truly sleep in. so this morning that is what i did. after sleeping in, i thought about putting off going to the gym altogether. i tried (although not hard) to find plans to give me the "excuse" to get up and get ready, rather than get up and go workout. while lying in bed trying to decide what to do, i had the conversation with myself of: "if you don't workout today, that means you only worked out 3 times this week." and "if you don't workout today, will you regret it?" when i answered yes to that question i knew i had to go. so i went. this journey is a hard one to have regrets in. because it is your journey. you either do it, or you don't.
so that was my motivation today. not wanting to regret not doing it. you gotta do what works in that moment. that's the only way to survive. to keep going. doing what works for you at that time.
am i happy i went? of course. i'm never not happy when i leave the gym. i guess that's sorta the point.
although lately i will say trying to find the motivation to get to the gym is getting harder and harder. why is this? i have no idea. i think some of it has to be with being comfortable. too comfortable. i have a comfort level with the gym, and a habit with my workout schedule. so maybe i just don't think about it, and then when it comes to actually going...i find myself having to literally kick myself out the door.
i also think it is a mental block. the block of what i need to do. the end of this journey. losing the last of these 20+ pounds. i have a part of me that is so curious to see what it is that i'll look like with 20 pounds less on me. then i have another part of me that is scared to see what it is that i'll look like. ...part of that person is scared, because i'm afraid to fail. part of me knows that this will always be a struggle. i've been my current size for almost 5 months now...and when i see myself, i still see someone at 265 pounds. will i ever not see that person?! time will tell. until then i will keep working on finding what works.

elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

being uncomfortable

this is what being uncomfortable looks like = happiness

this is what being comfortable looks like = unhappy (i hid it well)

I’ve come to the conclusion that life is better when you are uncomfortable. That when you get comfortable things stay the same, you stop learning, growing, and changing. You become fat. It is usually when you stay comfortable for too long you get frustrated because things that you want to change, aren’t changing. And isn’t that what life is all about? Expect the unexpected. You could apply this to just about any aspect of life. For today’s post, I’m going to speak specifically in regards to weight loss.

Losing weight isn’t easy. If it were I wouldn’t still be 20+ pounds overweight, and it wouldn’t had taken me 2 years to lose 90 pounds. Everything that I’ve done to lose weight I was uncomfortable doing. Especially at the beginning.

Working out? Uncomfortable. Going to the gym, looking at all of these thin people. Uncomfortable. Then actually moving. All if it, uncomfortable. Before doing group fitness classes I was an elliptical junkie. That’s all I would do. I figured that was the safest thing to do. Then I started my venture into the studios and into group fitness. First with Dance Jam, Soul Grooves, etc…I started out in the back of the class, always. I was so uncomfortable. But I did it. I then slowly began moving to the front of the class. Again, uncomfortable.

Then I started changing my food. Now this was hard. Not eating what it is that I would normally eat. Uncomfortable. Saying “No” to foods I would normally eat. Talk about being uncomfortable. I hate watching what I eat. Hate it. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is to walk away from sweets!

Moving on to STRIKE! and Total Conditioning. Uncomfortable, and double uncomfortable. Doing the U-DO. I pretty much had my very own temper tantrum leading up to that, and during the whole freakin’ thing because I knew I would be uncomfortable, and because I was so uncomfortable.

I am watching this season of “The Biggest Loser” and listening to guy who is an Olympic gold medalist talk about this journey from a world class athlete to being a contestant on the Biggest Loser because he is so overweight. This man obviously knows what it is like to be fit, he knows the hard work it creates to have those muscles. So why did he all let it go? He got comfortable.

Why did I get so overweight? I got comfortable. I didn’t move. I didn’t care. I didn’t know…I chose not to really see what it is that I looked like. I had no clue what all that extra fat around my organs was truly doing to my body. Why? Because I didn’t want to know. Because I knew that if I was truly honest with myself I would be disgusted. I would kick myself for not changing. For not saving my life. Why do you think that all of those contestants on TBL are so upset when the learn their “inside” age. Because they are learning the truth of what has been right in front of them all along. They learn that their home, their body is seriously killing them.

To be healthy and fit you have to be uncomfortable. I see my weightlifter friend Bobby do chest presses with a 110 pound barbell in each of his hands. Do you think that is comfortable?! F-ing NO! Is it crazy?!, yes…but that is whole other post for a different day!

Do I want to do this Warrior Dash that my friends have been asking me to do? No. Will I do it? Yes. Will it make me uncomfortable? Absolutely. Am I more comfortable now in the gym than what I used to be? Yes. Does that mean I don’t find things to push myself that will make me uncomfortable? No. Do I hesitate in these things? Yes.

Will I go to the gym while I am sick, even though my doctor tells me not too. Yes!, because that is the uncomfortable thing to do.

I think we sometimes pretend that life is easy. But we all know the brutal truth. Life is hard.

Why be comfortable putting yourself into an early grave just to lay there…literally. Dead. Unmoving.

Move to the front of the class. Dance a fool. Try the heavier weight. Don’t eat that piece of cake.

Now I just need to learn to take my own advice!

barbell strength 60min

no good

Where have I been? I’ve been going crazy…let me tell you. But really, I’ve been sick. Super sick. For the first time in two and a half years I got full blown sick. Have I felt worse before?, yes. But being this kind of sick after feeling so “healthy” for so long, I swear that I felt I was a weak prisoner in my own body unable to do the things that I would normally be doing, like working out.

I think it all started last Sunday when I did STRIKE!, my first big cardio workout after the holiday break. After class I went home and took a two hour nap! I understand that for most people this isn’t news, but for me it is a huge. I never take naps, ever. In fact I can probably tell you the last time I took a nap, prior to this one. It was October 2003. I was home in Albuquerque and went to the Balloon Fiesta in the morning, and was planning to drive back to Denver that day. After getting up so early in the morning and coming back home I was tired, and thought it be best if I take a nap before beginning my 6 hour drive back to Denver. So that is what I did. And that was the last nap I took prior to last Sunday. The whole sleep during the middle of the day thing just never really appealed to me.

Anyways. Monday was 50/50, no big deal. I think I started actually feeling ill on Tuesday, but convinced myself to go to Barbell Strength that evening since it’s only an hour of weights. Wednesday the pain began. Sore throat and body aches and chills. Combine the body aches with all over body soreness from 3 days of intense working out and I was hurting from head to toe…literally. Specifically my arms and legs, and my hands, and my head…ok well all over really. Everything hurt. So Wednesday I went home early from work, came home took another nap and went to bed early. By Thursday afternoon I thought I was on the mend. The mornings are always the worse, and by the afternoon with drinking lots, and sucking on cough drops, Thursday afternoon seemed good. I thought about doing some cardio at the gym, but I also knew that doing something intense as STRIKE! would just about be impossible. When I got home, my couch was calling my name just as it does every afternoon, but this time I gave in. I was hoping Friday would be even better, since it seemed as though I was making headway on Thursday. No such luck. Friday was the worse. I went to work in so much pain. By this time I have the body aches, the sore throat, headaches (which I rarely get), runny nose, and hot/cold flashes, with the overall feeling of weakness. I get to work and people notice I don’t look too hot. I call the doctor because I know that going on day 3 of this thing, I need some drug to kick it, and get rid of this sickness once and for all. At around 10:30am I speak to my boss, and go home. I come home sleep for two hours before my doctor’s appointment at 3pm. Dr (Nurse Practitioner, anyways) feels my throat and says “does that hurt?” I respond, no. needless to say you can see the left gland of my throat poking through my neck, and I didn’t even realize it. They check me for strep, negative. Nurse says I have a “strep infection” writes me a prescription for an antibiotic.

At this point I have it in my head that I’ll be feeling 100% by Saturday night…24hours after being on the antibiotic. Friday night I go over to R’s house (more on him later, he’s the flavor of the week) who is also sick with a bad cough…I’m thinking we got sick together over the New Year’s Eve weekend.

Ever since I’ve been taking the antibiotic I’ve been improving. The mornings are still the worse, and I’m still sleeping a lot…although no more naps. Because of my large glands in my neck, I can’t take a full deep breath or swallow yet without some pain, when I can do that I’ll definitely be doing some cardio! Instead I did get back in the gym tonight (finally) and did a super light workout of the treadmill and some weights. But wow, did it feel good to be back in the gym and sweat! I felt missed, and I saw a handful of friends I haven't seen since before the holidays.

Starting off the year with a whole 6 (count ‘em SIX) days without working out, I’m already concerned about how I will make up these days. And how I am going to get in my 20 workouts for this month. The fact that this is the first month, and this has happened has me freaking out. A coworker says that I should do 2-a-days …two workouts in one day, a morning and a evening. I could see this happening, just not in the winter months with the days so short. I know that I’ll be fine, and that I shouldn’t freak out about it, but I do. I can’t even remember the last time I went 6 whole days without working out….probably sometime in 2008 I imagine. Being truly sick, and physically unable to workout as made me appreciate the times in the past that I have worked out for the simple reason of the fact that I can workout. And will no doubt motivate me in the future when I don’t want to workout. I just need to tell myself that I’m going to workout because I can, because I know that there are people out there who want to workout but can’t.

If anything I miss my gym! The last full week I had at my gym was 4 weeks ago…I miss seeing my friends and I miss my workouts so much! Going through being sick, and seeing that my number one priority to getting better just so that I can workout, shows me that my life has changed. Again, all of it such a weird concept to me, because I just figured I would never be this person. But I’m happy that I am, and am looking forward to getting my life back pre-strep infection!

treadmill 35min
chest

253 vs. 235

via*

what a year 2010 has been! i've never had a year so full of change, and with so much anticipation with the new year. i beat last years goal by 18! not bad, if i do say so myself. i'm going into this year with a huge weight (literally) lifted off of my shoulders. for the first time that i can remember i'm NOT starting out the new year thinking "i have more than 100 pounds to lose." rather i'm starting off the new year thinking i have 20 - 30 pounds to lose. SUCH a difference a year makes!!! starting each year with the mentality of needing to lose more than 100 pounds is scary. because in reality (well my case of reality anyways) i was setting myself up for failure. losing 100+ pounds in a single year is impossible, and for me i have proved that. i take a lot of pride in the fact that my journey has been so slow. i've learned a lot, and i wouldn't have had it any other way. that is what makes it mine. the main difference between the start of this year and all years in the past...is now i know that i can do it. no questions asked. failure is no longer an option. i will succeed. again, another weight lifted. this year i know that as a fact my weight loss journey will indeed come to an end. and my version of maintenance mode will begin. the burning question is when?! answer: i don't know. the month of january is already full of outings with friends, so for this month i'm still going to be in maintenance mode. for now i have february set up as the month to start weight loss again. i'm not going to stress about it, because i know it'll happen.

i'm extremely happy with my life right now, and the blessings i have. i am in no big rush like how i was last year to "lose the weight". i suppose maybe this state of mind could change, especially as the summer months get closer, but for now i'm happy with this plan.

so lets set some goals for 2011. first things first, i'm going to continue my blog post for every workout, it just works for me, so why break it? number of workouts....this one is kinda tricky. last year my average number of workouts was just above 21. at this point in time anything less than 200 is unacceptable. i'm going to shoot for at least 240 workouts, as that is exactly 20 workouts a month, and i know i can do that. and well anything over 254 seems just about impossible, but we will see what 2011 will bring. rather than focus solely on the numbers, i want to add races to my list of goals. i plan to do at least six 5k's throughout the year, along with my first 10k. this is something i really want to focus on for this year, especially once the summer months are here.

2011 is going to be a great year for me, and i'm truly looking forward to it.

strike! 60min

i'm obsessed

I’m obsessed with my numbers. Not my weight…although I am obsessed with that but in an entirely different way. I’m obsessed with my workout numbers. I’m super close to achieving my over achiever goal that I set at the beginning of the year of 247 workouts for 2010, and I still have a whole month left of working out. I look at my number of workouts frequently. I keep a count on my blog and on my calendar in my room. I count them just about every single day when I go and add that “w” on my calendar after a workout. It’s a bit crazy if you ask me. But I have to do it. At the beginning of each month I look at the calendar and count out how many workouts I want to get in and add that to my total thus far. And now with the year coming to a close I’m looking at averages, how many days I went without a workout, and what my goals could be for next year etc... One thing that I love about that this year is that every single workout has a blog to match. Last year I had two additional workouts where I couldn’t blog, so my numbers don’t quite match. Not this year. This year my post count and my workout count should match exactly!

December is going to be tricky because I’ll be home for a week at Christmastime and lots of holiday parties etc…but I think I should be able to get in at least 19 workouts in this month, that’s my goal anyways. If I do that I’ll end the year at 258! And if that is the case why not make it a pretty number and try to shoot for 260?! We will see. Heck and since I do play around with the numbers I might as well go for 264, that’ll be an even average of 22 workouts a month! Ok, so that’s not going to happen…that would mean 25 workouts this month, and I really don’t think I can do that. I might just have to end the year at an average of 21 which is not bad considering last year’s average was 19.5. Are you seeing this? Do you see what I do? Add, subtract, divide, it’s craziness I tell you, just crazy. And even crazier? I love every single part of it!!!

I was reading back almost 2 years ago about my goals, and remembering who I was at that time, and comparing her to who I am now. How I have become this gym rat. Me, a gym rat?! I wrote that my goal was to workout at least 12 days a month, and that ideally I want to workout 20 days a month, but that I want to be realistic. Well my current reality is at least 20 workouts in a month! I remember thinking that 2 years ago, and how 20 seemed impossible even though it was a goal of mine and now what used to seem impossible is now my norm. I would have never guessed that I would describe myself as a gym rat. It’s weird because there are a small number of us who are obsessed with the gym. You may not know them, but you know who they are because you see them every time you are the gym, so you know that they are there just as often as you. Almost like you know they are crazy…crazy in a good way of course. Yesterday after my barbell class I went out where all the cardio equipment was and ran into 4 people that I know….gym rats just like myself. They are my friends, and I am so happy that we can be crazy obsessed gym rats together!

Speaking of my crazy friends (God how I love 'em), walking into the gym today I see my friend Kortny who says to me "You going to class?" I say: No. ...I was well prepared with a newly charged ipod and magazine to do some time on the elliptical and the treadmill. When she convinces me to do a class called Total Conditioning which is taught by Scott. I'm intimidated by Scott, plus I'm intimidated by any new class. Not a good combination. But I did the class and I survived to write about it. Not too sure if I'll try it again, although I already know that I will...but it won't be willingly. So thanks to my friends for giving me a push to try something different.

total conditioning 60min

zuuuumba-A

tara and i

i need some major motivation. tonight was tara's last zumba at lifetime. going forward she'll permanently be down at the brand new lifetime gym opening in centennial. to document her farewell she did an awesome 90 minute zumba workout! it was so much fun. whenever i take her class i come home and super motivated to start off my zumba career. i got my zumba certification at the end of july and have done nothing with it. what is discouraging about this is the fact that i've had lots of opportunities come to my door to do something with it, but out of laziness i have done nothing.
i'm going to miss this class so much. however i'll be happy to have my monday's nights back. this zumba class is from 6:45pm to 7:45pm...i prefer to workout 5:30pm to 6:30pm. and their is a new instructor that'll take over, and i'm sure i'll try her out because the other two instructor's i really don't like. ...this is the other reason i need to get my butt in gear, so i can teach! because i know i'm going to teach a tara-type zumba class, which is exactly the type of zumba workout that i want!
i think this will be a great goal for me to work on in 2011. because it is something i want to do, and i know i can find the time to do it. i just need to make the time.
so thank you to tara for giving me the zumba bug and for making this workout one of the funniest and hardest!

zumba 90min
756

lazy workout

call it what you will, but i had a lazy workout tonight. i have a hard time calling anything less than an hour workout a workout. but nonetheless i did 45 minutes on the elliptical and i'm counting it. especially since i didn't want to go at all, and for the first time ever actually considered leaving the gym without even working out.

lets go back a couple of days. i haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. something big could be in the works, and when/if it progresses i will share it, until then that's all i will share. i function best with 7 or 8 hours of sleep. i'm pretty sure the last time i had 7 hours of sleep was last friday night. i'm hoping that tonight i'll do some catching up and get to bed early. anyways.

i really didn't want to go to gym tonight. just when i think the decision of getting up and going to workout will be easy, i find myself having to motivate myself as if it is my first ever workout. i really don't like the feeling of having to talk myself into going to the gym, but such is life. and we all do things we don't want to do. so i went. my plan was to do zumba at 5:30pm. i don't really like this zumba instructor, but i convinced myself to go and that the 60 minute class wouldn't kill me, and that if anything it would be some good cardio. so i arrive to class, and the instructor is late. a couple of personal trainers come in to warm us up and i just wasn't feeling it. it was at this point in time that i felt like leaving. just walking out of the gym without even working out. but i knew how lame that would be. i mean really, who goes to the gym and doesn't work out?!

instead i did something else i've never done. i walked out of the studio and over to the cardio equipment and got on the elliptical. i told myself i would settle for 30 minutes. i ended up doing 45! i thought about doing some time on the treadmill too, but told myself that was enough. 45 minutes on the elliptical is better than not working out at all right? right.

when this week started i thought that maybe i would only get in four workouts. but i'm happy to know that i'll get in my normal five.

let it be known that i still have to motivate myself, that i still have to push myself, that i still have to get my butt out the door. yes these moments are much fewer than what they used to be, but i do still have them. and i'm proud to report that 99.9% of the time i do make the choice to get to the gym rather than stay home.

elliptical 45min

heavy lifting

so lately i've incorporated some weights back into my workout routine. i did this by adding the class "barbell strength" to my weekly routine. and now all of a sudden it seems as though i'm doing weights all the time. everything with me always seems to circle around back to food, which is one of the reasons why i like lifting weights. the more muscle mass you have, the more calories your body burns, the more you can eat! i have a co-worker april who i actually met at the gym before realizing we work in the same group at Qwest, and her husband bobby is a crazy muscle dude that is seriously like 2% body fat. anyways april recently sprained her ankle and has asked me to join her in lifting weights since she can't really do a lot of cardio. well i was suppose to met up with her saturday morning, but that didn't work out, and instead i did weights by myself. it had seriously been so long since i had done any sort of free weights on my own, that i rather enjoyed it. then yesterday after my 50/50 class sarah invited me to do some weights with her and bobby. now i met bobby through april(they are husband and wife), and at first look you think this guy would be super intimidating. but the beauty is that he isn't. both april and bobby are super nice and genuine. the muscle's for yesterday's workout: triceps and shoulders. here i am doing triceps with a 25 pound bar, sarah is at a 35 pound bar, and bobby?

wait...

just wait for it...

keep waiting....

110 pound bar!

he can do an entire set with a 110 pound bar! another thing to keep in mind about bobby, he's 5'2''.

insane, right?! abso-freakin'-lutely!

but working out with these two was actually a lot of fun. i didn't care that i was the weakest, i just cared that i was working out in good company. and because bobby is crazy ripped and sarah is a personal trainer they gave me some good pointers, and helped me work on my frame and form, which are two very important things when it comes to lifting weights.
at the end of the workout we did shoulders, and april joined us.

then tonight i did some more weights with april before my zumba class. we worked our back and biceps.
all of these weights, and tomorrow is barbell strength. i hope i survive!

back/biceps
zumba 60min
488

bad a$$ chicks

post STRIKE! ~ all sweaty
sarah, me, pinder, cathy, and julie ~ yes we are bad a$$!

so today i felt like the ultimate cool girl. i brought 3 of my co-workers/friends with me to my STRIKE! workout! julie, cathy, and pinder all drove up to my neck of the woods to check out my workout! ...a few weeks ago i joined julie and cathy for a boot camp workout downtown, since i joined one of their workouts they joined me for one of mine! it is SO much fun working out with friends. it was awesome.
STRIKE! is one of my hardest workouts but it is also one of my funniest. STRIKE! is a kick-boxing cardio interval workout. the "intervals" bring you to zone 4 which is the point to where you completely breathless, where you just want to give up. thankfully the intervals are only a couple of minutes a piece, but it's what makes the workout hard. i remember when i first thought about trying out STRIKE! i had to mentally prepare myself for this class for about 4 months before i even took it. then when i did try it i wouldn't use the 1 pound gloves. that took about 6 months of mental preparedness. then about another 6 months before i would increase my weight for the body bar we use for the intervals. i started out at the 6 pound bar and am now up to the 9 pound bar.
i'm officially getting stronger. it's a slow process but it is happening, and i really enjoyed having my friends there today.

STRIKE! 60min
635

flashback friday ~ blog edition

so i'm thinking that pretty soon i'm going to close my myspace account because logging into it a few times a year, what's the point? i logged into myspace tonight, and checked out some stuff from my past. while surfing around i read a really old blog dated july 18, 2008 with the title: "my routine". i figured this would make a perfect post for flashback friday!

****************************************************************

So those that know me, know I remember dates, specifically since I have been oh about 20. But at my own embarrassment I'm going to go into much further detail, and I promise it will all come to a point at the end, but in order for me to get there I may ramble a little,...or a lot.

These "patterns" started when I moved to Denver. The first couple years I lived here, I traveled home a lot. Probably every chance I got, and majority of those times I would drive. It's about a 6.5 hour drive. And I would say about half of those trips were done by myself. I came up in my head, that each city has a parallel city. See:

Denver
Colorado Springs
Pueblo
Trinidad
Raton
Las Vegas
Santa Fe
Albuquerque

Driving North to South that is the order you reach each city. I imagine that if you have a map of just that area, and if you were to fold the map in half, the cities would match up.
Denver/Albuquerque
Colorado Springs/Santa Fe
Pueblo/Las Vegas
Trinidad/Raton
Do you see what I mean?

I do things in 2 hour increments during the drive. I try to start the first 2 hours listening to the radio-before I put in a CD. 2 hours until I start to use cruise control(this was only applicable for the last two trips.) One trip from my early years, I wrote down how many miles I traveled each hour. I prefer to leave at the top of an hour. So I can easily track my time. I love listening to soundtracks while on the road. It's the best way to listen to the whole soundtrack-specifically if it is for a musical. My favorite is "Blood Brothers". My all time favorite play. Last weekend I was home for my 10 year HS reunion. I've always wanted to see if I could travel all 460 miles without stopping. Well driving back to Denver, I succeeded! No stop for gas, and no stop for the bathroom.-this is another one of my "things". I drink a lot of water. While on the road I only allow myself one drink of water every 30-45 minutes. Because if I drank the amount of water I normally do, I would be needing to stop every hour to go the bathroom. So I very proud of myself, and my car!, for not stopping. And I love cruise control. It is great. I usually stop 4 hours into the trip. Las Vegas if I'm Southbound. Pueblo if I'm Northbound. I do this, because it is a little more then half way. And I've always been one to do things later, so the last part of whatever it is I am doing, goes quicker. Ok, I know I have some other weird habits while on my long drive, but that's all I can think of for now.

Moving on. The gym. I do the elliptical trainer for 45 minutes. This is a long time. And I have to keep myself entertained. This is what I bring with me when I'm doing my cardio. Water bottle, magazine, ipod, and headband.
The first 10 minutes I do nothing. Just run on the elliptical. I used to watch TV, but my eyes have gotten much worse, and can no longer read the print on the TV. So usually I stare at the numbers, and the person on the magazine cover for motivation-specifically face and arms. (The face for me, is usually the first place you can notice I am losing weight, and arms because I want thinner arms.)
After 10 minutes I put on my headband, to stop the sweat because this is when I really start to sweat. Then I drink some water.
I also about every 7-10 minutes reverse and go backwards for 1 minutes, always at a 30 second mark. For the first 10 seconds, I go as fast as I can-it helps the 60 seconds for faster(in my head).
10-15minutes I go back to doing nothing-just running.
Between 15-20 minutes, I put my ipod in my ears and turn it on, and start listening to music. 10-20 always seems to go a lot slower than the first 10 minutes.
I listen to music for about 15 minutes, then I start reading the magazine. I read the magazine up until I reach 40 minutes. At 40 minutes I put the magazine away, and do the cool down for the last 5 minutes. I think I put the magazine away at 40 minutes, because I like for the magazine to last me awhile(I'm cheap, and don't want to have to buy another magazine, and it's always a magazine, never a book.)
And at every 10 minute mark, I drink water. So, at 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and 4 minutes. I try to go through a whole water bottle, but never the whole bottle. Then I always do my last 1 minute backwards at 42:30. Always. Again, a little bit more than half way through the cool down. Yesterday and today while doing cardio-I thought about this blog, all of the weird details I am now admitting to. This whole blog idea started yesterday when I was at the gym. I got on my machine to this guy who was crazy. I get on the elliptical that doesn't have the moving arm parts-and this guy turns all the way around on the machine, facing completely backwards, and he does that for maybe 2 or 3 minutes, and then turns back around, facing forward on the machine. He also at one point in time starting singing out loud, with his ipod. I wanted to laugh so hard, but didn't want to be rude(this was before I had started playing my own ipod). I had once read a magazine article(while working out) about gym etiquette. And one of things on there, was people singing out loud with their ipod. I thought in my head, no-no one would ever do that. Now, granted, it has been tempting at times, but I always stop myself. And I've been going to the gym on and off(mostly off) for 8 years, and I had never seen this happen. So when this guy start singing, it took all I had to not physically laugh out loud. And so the result of this guy singing, started the idea of this blog.

Do any of you have weird habits to help time go by? Or is it just me? I'm thinking it is just me, but I might just be pleasantly surprised.

So sadly, I think I lied. I'm pretty sure that after all of that, I made no point, just rambled. But I still hope that you enjoyed!

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very rarely do i have a workout on the elliptical anymore. but if i were to spend 45 minutes on that machine my routine is indeed exactly the same!

treadmill 60min
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