Tuesday, February 26, 2013

the weekend

Chris and I had our first "normal" weekend where nothing move related really had to be done.  I think it's safe to say we are officially moved in!  We're pretty organized and have mostly everything hung up on the walls.  We still have some home maintenance items to cover, but we are definitely feeling settled.  I love our kitchen.  Chris added knobs to the kitchen cabinets (and bathroom cabinets) that immediately makes it look more put together and nicer.  We have a newer dishwasher, that works like crap that we'll hopefully get replaced in the next two months, so that's unfortunate, but comes along with getting to know a new house.  I hope to take pictures and share them with you soon.
On Friday night Chris and I had a dinner and movie date night.  Since Christmastime we've tried to go see Les Miserables three different times.  Each time unsuccessfully for whatever reason.  Last time we tried it was because the movie theater was no longer playing it, I was super upset, because I specifically wanted to see this movie on the big screen.  So thankful for Chris, as he did some homework and found a theater in Denver where it was still playing.  We started the night at Big Easy Creole Kitchen in Cherry Creek.  Super good New Orleans style food.  We had great service, and great food.  The atmosphere is nice, and we will definitely be going back.
Les Mis.  I first heard of this movie in HS.  When I was a Junior and going to London over spring break, we got tickets to go see this show.  My first thought was "what's the big deal?".  Back then I didn't really get it.  But I played along because all of my drama friends were thrilled.  Once we arrived at the show our seats were so high up we couldn't even see the very front of the stage.  I remember loving the singing and that they had a rotating stage.  But after the show, I still had a sense that was I was missing something.  Since then I've seen the show 2 or 3 times on stage (the last time was an amazing HS production!) and was really looking forward to seeing the movie, knowing it would provide more details. 
I loved it.  And now I want to see the show again and take Chris.  I wish I had more to say, but I don't think I could do the movie any justice.
Saturday we had a early morning, taking the cats to get their shots, and checked up on.  Otis isn't adjusting well to the new house (pooping about once a week, right in the living room).  This is a problem in our house.  We have brand new carpet (installed in November) and I really don't want cat stains ruining our new house.  This is super tuff on me, and I just hope the pooping spells are done with.
I met my friend Sarah for lunch at Little Anita's.  I love my time with her.  It had been a super long time since we had gotten together, and I'm so glad that we did.
We did some errands, and got some curtains for the bedroom.  Then our friends Andrea and Ryan came over to check out the new house, before we headed out to dinner, for the first night of Denver Restaurant Week.  ...it's almost my favorite time of year.  We went to Ghost Plate and Tap.  This restaurant wasn't prepared for Denver Restaurant week.  Poor management all around.  The food and drink were decent, but the timing was horrible.  We got our first and second courses right away, waiting a good 20+ minutes for our entree, then dessert came immediately.  Had to keep asking for more water and drinks, and when our main course was waiting for so long the kitchen was so disorganized that they brought out our first and second courses AGAIN!  By the time dessert did come one of the desserts was out, and so another selection had to be made.  For whatever reason, the restaurant just didn't prepare for what was obviously going to be a busy night.  Needless to say, I would go back, but not for dinner.  They had some pretty awesome happy hour cocktails and appetizers, so if I were to go back that's what I would go for. 
Sunday was a snow day!  We got about 6 inches, so we left the house early to go grocery shopping for the week, and stayed in the rest of the day.  Chris was the amazing husband he is, and cleared the driveway a couple of times, along with going out to get the snow off of the satellite dish.  We played some cribbage (our new game of choice) and watched some TV with New Mexico Cheeseburgers cooking in the crock pot!
I had a great weekend with some quality people, and quality time well spent.
How was your weekend?

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

my first session

it feels so good acting on what it is you say your gonna do.  however scary and hard it maybe, the feeling of putting your words into actions always gives you a feeling of accomplishment, however big or small.

last night i had my first therapy session. 
this lady seems pretty awesome, and wicked smart (of course), and i already have my second session scheduled.  i had originally scheduled time to see her the week that we moved, which got moved to yesterday, and my second one isn't for two weeks.  in a situation where you want that instant gratification, i'm learning to be patient, and this will be a work in progress.

i'm relying on myself, and it feels great. 
i recognize that i feel weak: emotionally, mentally, and physically.  and that this will be a great stepping stone to feeling strong again.

i had prepared myself into thinking that the first session would just be emotionally draining.  and although i did get teary eyed, no tears were shed.  where do you start with someone brand new to your life and give her a 60 minute peak into your 33 year old life?  we definitely got two out of the three major points i want help in, and left with some marriage homework, and some lifestyle homework. 

i feel good about her, and the fact that she wasn't quick to put me on any drugs, rather she made the point that three-45 minute workouts in a week equals the same as a daily anti-depressant for most woman. 

it's difficult deciding what to share.  i obviously have somethings and issues to work out that aren't topics on the blog, and at the same time i question why i even need therapy?  there hasn't been one big catastrophic event to bring me to this place, so why seek professional help?  am i that damaged?  but then it's those thoughts that make feel like i'm going crazy.  how can be sad or depressed, when i truly have everything that it is that i want?  i often ask myself, what's wrong with me? 
the therapist was quick to point out that getting married, and buying house are two big things.  and although positive they do create stress, and that talking it out getting therapy can help decrease the stress level. 

i'm definitely learning who my true friends are, and where my support system is, which i think is all part of this process. 

chris has been awesome, and very supportive.  asking if i want him to join me.  and i'm just not there yet.  this isn't our problem, but rather my problem.  i need to fix me

right now i'm definitely feeling like i'm moving forward, compared to back.  chris and i have some future plans that i can't wait for!  we're going to see Ron White in May, and FUN! in August (at Red Rocks!).  i also have two 5k's that i'm registered for, one in April and the mother's day 5k in May.  just having these things to look forward to puts me in a good mood. 

there is a lot of energy into feeling negative and sad, and it truly is so much easier to be happy.  and i'm in the process of focusing my energy into that happy place, rather than sad. 

roses from chris on valentines day

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

question of the week:

it's that time of year.
the time everyone is celebrating love.  shades of pink and red everywhere.  like Christmas, but more romantic.  a silly holiday that is really for the ladies.  a reason to get spoiled and to have unreasonable expectations.  but i can't help but feel that we dream up these lavish ideas in our heads because isn't that what we think we are worth?  and don't we want our men to think we are worth just as much, if not more?!  but alas, life is not a fairytale. 


i'm so happy to be in love.  to celebrate this cheesy holiday as a wife for the first time.  granted it will be just another day, but it will be a day to embrace and love just like every other day.  while i was thinking about valentine's day, i was thinking about love, and what loving chris has taught me, along with receiving his love.  unconditional love is an amazing thing.  and a type of love that prior to chris i had really only experienced from a few family members. 
this may sound silly, but chris loves me.  like, truly, really loves me.  it's such a great love, that sometimes i have a hard time fully accepting it. 
his love has taught me patience.  his love has taught me acceptance.  his love has taught me that it's ok to move forward, and look fondly at my past. 
my love for him has taught me that he was well worth the wait and questioning.  my love for him has taught me that i have so much more to look forward to. 
it's weird thing, this thing called love.  i know i've learned so much more since i've started loving chris and since he has started loving me.  and i know i still have so much more to learn about our love.  i'm so excited and blessed to keep our love growing and to see where it'll take us.
so i ask you,
what has your love taught you?

happy valentine's day!

Monday, February 4, 2013

First comes Love, Then comes Marriage...

no no no, no baby in a baby carriage....

a new HOUSE!

It became apparent early on that two people and two cats in my house was just too much.  Not a big enough kitchen, and a cramped bathroom were the two big vices that prompted us to look for a bigger home.  Along with the hope of kids one day in our future, Chris and I started looking at houses shortly after Christmas.  Little comments while cooking "we need more counter space" then to "we need more wall space" ...we have all of these beautiful wedding pictures and no where to hang them.  And discussions like "i'm really not comfortable bringing a newborn into this house."  We started the house hunt.  It has been an interesting ride.  At first I was the one more anxious to buy.  I would ask Chris, "If we go out and look at houses, and we find something we really love.  Are we ready to make an offer?" or, "You know my parents are planning to come visit in May.  Do you think we'll be in a new place by then?"  His responses were "Well we'll see, I think it would be better to move in the summer time." 
And then we found this house.  I think both of us feel in love, but at different speeds.  I really liked the house, and it was the first one we saw on our third or fourth trip out with our realtor.  After seeing a handful of houses, I asked if we could go back to the first one.  During our second visit to the house Chris said "I could see us living here."  In my heart of hearts I knew it was over.  His mind was made up.  24 hours later after discussing it, I realized how ready he was, and I wasn't quite there yet.  I wanted to save more money, give it some more time.  But I know that once my husband wants to do something, he just does it.  ...remember the purchase of the wedding bands?!  After me questioning him a hundred times, and him comforting me and reassuring me over and over, about 28 hours after we saw the house we called our realtor and gave him the GO to make an offer!  That was back on Sunday January 6th.  And now we have a house.  Our first house together.  It feels so good, and so comforting. 
The house itself is a detached ranch style home, which I love.  I've always wanted a ranch because that's what I grew up in.  I had never lived in a house with stairs until I bought my townhome in 2006.  I love going back to a ranch.  It has a small formal entryway with two small guest bedrooms, and a full guest bath.  A very open floor concept with a large living room, and a fireplace!  The kitchen is huge, and has a nice giant pantry!  I'm sure we'll be able to fill it all, but it almost seems like we have more kitchen space than we know what to do with!  We have a nice big master bedroom, with an ATTACHED bath (this is a big deal).  Our master suite has a shower, garden tub, a closed off toilet room, TWO sinks, a linen closet, and a nice big walk-in closet.  We also have a finished basement and a full bath downstairs.  Lastly the location.  We're just moving right across the freeway in Thornton, and it's within a few blocks of Eastlake where I love to go running!  I truly can't wait until the warmer weather is here.  There is also a park and tennis courts.  It's fabulous if I do say so myself. 
My one concern is our window in the bedroom faces a sorta busy street.  And we have a street light that is pretty much right over that window.  Hopefully the noise and light won't be too bad.
We started moving in over the weekend, and got a lot accomplished.  We hired a painter to get rid of this orange-terracotta color in the kitchen and stairway to the basement, along with the yellow and green in the master bath.  He should be finished tomorrow, and we officially move in on Thursday.  Movers come to take all the furniture Thursday morning, and TV/internet will be installed Thursday afternoon.
This move (among all the other things going on) has been weighing heavily on my mind, and to know that it is now all done has given me a new lightness.
With this house we have room to grow inside and out.  Along with the inside we have a nice big patio, and a full garden on the side of the house already planted with raspberries, tomato's, herbs...those are the items I can remember, all hooked up to a custom sprinkler system!  This will obviously be Chris' area to take care of!
It's so exciting to know we have this space together, and that together we will make it our own.  That this could be the house we bring a baby into.  That all of the memories here will be ours together.  I am a little bit sad to say goodbye to my townhome, where I have lived for almost 7 years.  But it feels amazing to be able to move on and forward with my new life.  I think of the person who moved into that house, and how lonely she was, and how it seems appropriate because I'm no longer alone.  It's definitely time to move on.
So this is your official invitation to come visit!  We have plenty of space and would love to have you!
Pictures are of course, to come!