last night i had my first therapy session.
this lady seems pretty awesome, and wicked smart (of course), and i already have my second session scheduled. i had originally scheduled time to see her the week that we moved, which got moved to yesterday, and my second one isn't for two weeks. in a situation where you want that instant gratification, i'm learning to be patient, and this will be a work in progress.
i'm relying on myself, and it feels great.
i recognize that i feel weak: emotionally, mentally, and physically. and that this will be a great stepping stone to feeling strong again.
i had prepared myself into thinking that the first session would just be emotionally draining. and although i did get teary eyed, no tears were shed. where do you start with someone brand new to your life and give her a 60 minute peak into your 33 year old life? we definitely got two out of the three major points i want help in, and left with some marriage homework, and some lifestyle homework.
i feel good about her, and the fact that she wasn't quick to put me on any drugs, rather she made the point that three-45 minute workouts in a week equals the same as a daily anti-depressant for most woman.
it's difficult deciding what to share. i obviously have somethings and issues to work out that aren't topics on the blog, and at the same time i question why i even need therapy? there hasn't been one big catastrophic event to bring me to this place, so why seek professional help? am i that damaged? but then it's those thoughts that make feel like i'm going crazy. how can be sad or depressed, when i truly have everything that it is that i want? i often ask myself, what's wrong with me?
the therapist was quick to point out that getting married, and buying house are two big things. and although positive they do create stress, and that talking it out getting therapy can help decrease the stress level.
i'm definitely learning who my true friends are, and where my support system is, which i think is all part of this process.
chris has been awesome, and very supportive. asking if i want him to join me. and i'm just not there yet. this isn't our problem, but rather my problem. i need to fix me.
there is a lot of energy into feeling negative and sad, and it truly is so much easier to be happy. and i'm in the process of focusing my energy into that happy place, rather than sad.
|roses from chris on valentines day|