Thursday, December 31, 2015

Christmas 2015

I got this little jumper for my God-daughter Katherine when she was almost 2, now Helena gets to wear it!
Christmas morning
hanging with Grandpa
Smiles with Grandma
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve

Christmas as come and done, and I feel like our celebration this year was sorta a waste.  I did a lot of work, and I find myself questioning what it was all for.  Last year after the holidays Chris and I decided we would be staying home (Denver) for the holidays.  I had really looked forward to that.  Once we moved and I knew it would be different, I just felt different.  About a week and a half before Christmas Chris and I laid in bed and discussed what to do for dinner.  I knew I didn't want to spend Christmas in Alamogordo.  What I really wanted was to erase time and spend our holiday in Denver.  The next best thing (I guess) was to drive the 3 hours to Albuquerque and spend it with my family.  
Christmas Eve eve Chris and I opened presents and put out the rest of the presents for Helena under the tree.  I made biscuits and gravy in the morning and Helena opened her gifts while we FaceTimed with Grandma and Grandpa Sweat.  We left around noon.  That afternoon/evening drove to my Aunt Patti and Uncle Jeff's house.  They have a beautiful new house in Corrales that has an amazing view, it's breathtaking.  It was a fun to see a lot of family and just hang out.  Helena looked super cute in her Christmas dress.  I made a gender reveal cake for my family to tell them the news that baby is boy, and it turned out ok.  The family got the idea and are thrilled the family is getting another boy! Our family seems to have a pretty solid pattern of alternating boy girl boy girl.  
Christmas Day was sorta boring especially since my family doesn't socialize.  My dad watched basketball all day long, Chris watched work videos, I'm not too sure what my mom did.  That morning Helena and I went to my friend Michelle's parents house to hangout for a little bit.  During Helena's nap time I cooked a pizza appetizer thing and some guacamole.  For dinner we had tamales.  This is something I want to drastically change for my family, especially now that we are a family of four.  I want to actually create memories and traditions for Christmas Day.  Growing up in my family Christmas Day has never really been that exciting.  The big day as always been Christmas Eve.  So any fun traditions you have for Christmas Day please share!
By that evening the big news was the massive snow storm coming into southeastern NM.  My big fear was the state highways, specifically highway 380 which takes us east before heading south to Alamogordo.  In my ideal world we would have just stayed in Albuquerque until Monday, but the bigger problem was Chris didn't pack his correct amount of pills.  So we had to be back in Alamogordo on Sunday, at the latest.  So we decided to leave on Saturday.  On Saturday there was another family get together, which we missed.  And that just sucked.  So the one full day we were in Albuquerque (Christmas Day) we didn't even really do anything.  
Who knows when we'll live in a place that feels like home again for me to really feel like I want to create traditions and memories but I honestly want to get there already.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

December 2015

Christmas Festival Downtown Alamogordo
1st time seeing Santa after a 1 year absence, she wasn't too thrilled.
She loves these blow-up figures
She did pretty good with the ornaments, we had to fatalities this year!
She warmed up nicely to Santa at the El Paso Mall.
So focused helping with the Gingerbread house.
Our mantel, Helena loved the lights!
3rd Santa visit was a success at the Alamogordo library!
Checking out the largest pistachio in the world!
She had a blast helping me make sugar cookies!
I made her, her very own felt Christmas tree!
Dad put up Christmas lights and got an owl!

Who knows if I'll ever catch up on blogging, I really want to blog more, document more and remember more.  I miss my blog, I miss a lot of things, and I feel this is one thing I have control over.  That I can easily incorporate back into my weekly schedule.  
We've been busy this month.  
At the beginning of the month there was a little Christmas Festival in downtown Alamogordo.  Downtown exists of one block, but we had a good time.  There was a live Nativity, Santa, and hot chocolate.  This was her first experience since last Christmas meeting Santa, and she was scared.  Over the course of the month we saw Santa two more times, and by the third time she was ok with him.  She'll now say Santa and is fascinated by his hat.  
In the middle of the month we took the drive to El Paso for some shopping.  The drive is about an hour and half and it was crazy.  I don't see us going back anytime soon.  The mall was insane.  Just crazy.  We did get some shopping done, but the experience wasn't pleasant.  I made a reservation for Helena to have a sit down with Helena and brought her Christmas dress and everything.  Upon arrival for our reservation the whole camera and computer system had gone down.  It was beyond frustrating.  I had made a dinner reservation for an hour after the meeting with Santa so we didn't have time to hang out.  Thankfully Santa came over, and that gave Helena the opportunity to warm up to him.  He gratefully took a selfie with us, so it wasn't a total waste, but I'm sad that we won't have an official Santa picture this year.  
Closer to the end of the month Santa was making an appearance at  the Alamogordo library.  So we checked that out.  This was a success, and had I known Helena would be good I would have brought her Christmas dress.  But we got a somewhat decent picture!

Monday, December 28, 2015

Christmas Letter

I always regret not writing a Christmas letter, which after such a life altering year I really should have just done it.  Better late than never.

Dearest Friends and Family,

Greetings from Alamogordo, New Mexico!  Yup, this year has yet again brought lots of unexpected change to the Sweat family!  Let's recap shall we?

In January both Chris and Helena got baptized at our church by the same pastor that married us.  We had a huge brunch afterwards and had a truly blessed day and are so excited that Chris and Helena are truly part of Gods family.

In February Helena had swim lesson at the gym!  She did great and continues to love the water!

In April both April and Helena went on a girls trip to Lakeland, Florida to spend time with April's family friend Tina and the Witty Family.  We had a great time, and Helena did fantastic on the flights!  We had planned a trip to the beach but Helena got sick the night before we left, so the beach trip is still on the list.
Once we returned back from Florida we got the devastating news that Chris had lost his job.
We had lots of family visit this month, a visit from Great-Grandma Mog and Grandma Sweat, and a trip over Easter weekend from Grandpa and Grandma Madrid.
April also got a new position and promotion at CenturyLink to Marketing Analyst!

In May we celebrated Helena's First Birthday with an Owl themed party!  She had a great time and she celebrated by taking her very first steps on her first birthday!  ...It truly is amazing the change that happens in the first twelve months of life.
Grandpa and Grandma Madrid were there for the party, and Grandpa and Grandma Sweat visited of Memorial Day weekend!

In June we traveled to Scottsbluff, NE for a possible work opportunity for Chris.  It was a fun little get away.  

In July we celebrated the 4th of July with the Sweat Family and had a lot of fun at a nearby park watching fireworks.  The Madrid grandparents also visited for a annual outing to a Colorado Rockies game.

Our family got two big unexpected pieces of news in August.  The first was the news of baby number two on the way (a baby BOY coming April 2016)!  The second was when April's work announced a 1000 person lay-off, and that April was one of the one's being laid off.
After 12 years with CenturyLink (Qwest) April was laid off the beginning of September.  By the end of the month Chris was getting recruited by Aramark to work at a hospital in Alamogordo, NM.  By October First we had decided to move.  Our beautiful house was on the market 2 and half days before going under contract and closed on 11/30.  Our Halloween was spent with movers at our house and staying the night in a hotel room.  

We're still getting used to living in a super small town and we miss our home and friends desperately.  A huge blessing in all of this change is the opportunity for Chris gives April the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, which is something she has wanted since she had to return to work after Helena was born.  
Our baby boy is happy and healthy and we are treasuring our time with Helena as a only child.  April is trying not to focus too much on the fact that she will be a mom of two under two (granted even if only for a few weeks) next year and focus on her beautiful family.
We are grateful for all of God's blessings for our parents coming to visit us as much as they did and trying to make Alamogordo feel like home.

Who knows what 2016 will bring, but what we do know is that it'll bring more life altering love!  We wish you and yours the same in the New Year!

Blessings and Cheers, 
Chris, April, Helena, and baby boy

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

What I Miss

just a cute picture from today

We've been in Alamogordo for a month now.  fastest month ever.  I've been thinking a lot about what I miss about Denver, and what I don't miss about Denver. 
I miss a lot.

I miss the unlimited dining options.  We spontaneously drove to Las Cruces (an hour away) on Saturday and we got so excited because they had a Red Lobster and a Olive Garden!!!  It was so exciting.  Seriously. 

I miss the quick trips to King Soopers.  We live on the southern end of town, on the golf course.  Everything is near by, but King Soopers was 3 minutes away from my house in Thornton.  The nearest grocery store is the Super Wal-Mart which is 7 minutes away. Speaking of grocery stores, there are only 3 grocery stores here. 

I miss the sports energy.  Specifically the Bronco's.  Even though I only attended a handful of games I miss knowing that when the Bronco's played at home, they were only playing "down the street" ...about 15 miles south on I-25.  That energy is electric.  Along with that I miss everyone wearing Bronco gear.  The big team to follow here is the Cowboys (excuse me while I gag). 

I miss the unlimited resources.  The things to do, the places to shop.  I don't want to get into specifics right now, but there is only one OB in town, so even if I wanted a second opinion on this pregnancy, I would have to drive to either Las Cruces or El Paso to get it. 

Helena and I have kept busy, but the story time here at the library (there is only one) is geared more towards older kids, so there is no point in going.  The only indoor play area is at the McDonalds (again only one).  The parks aren't that great.  No splash pads for the summertime. 

No shopping.  The mall is laughable, also no play area in the mall.  No Target, no Hobby Lobby, nothing really.  If you can't get it at the Super Wal-mart, Amazon Prime it is (or so I've been told, I've never been a big Amazon shopper. I suppose that is about to change). 

You don't drink the water here.  The water here is gross.

I miss my gym.  There are a couple of gyms here, but I haven't even bothered checking them out.  Any gym won't be able to compare to what I've been used to for the past 7 years at Lifetime Fitness.   

I miss my house.  I desperately miss my house.  We closed on Monday.  And even though I feel like our chances of ending back up in Denver are pretty slim, I feel like maybe we should have just rented the house out, so had the right opportunity brought us back to Denver, we would have gotten our house back. 
I find myself constantly curious about what the weather is like in Denver.  And what's going on there. 
I don't miss the cold, yet.  But I do know I'll eventually miss the seasons. 

There are a few perks.  Since there is nothing, there is no traffic.  The speed limit is either 35 or 40, and you can get anywhere in about 7 minutes.  So runny errands is super easy, and quickly done.  Everyone is super nice.  There is no hustle and bustle and it's more laid back.  The sky at night is amazing.  No city lights, so the stars are super clear. 

Monday, November 30, 2015

Helena at 18 months

she got herself into the bathtub!
I'm super behind and feel like I will never catch up on life over the past 60 days, and I have so much I should be doing right now, but I feel like I must document what is going on in my beautiful daughters world right now, before the time passes and I can't remember.

As always Helena is such a joy.  I feel bad when I have my moments of not being patient or cursing or just getting frustrated when she doesn't listen, because she truly is an amazing little toddler.  There I said it, my baby is a toddler. 

She had her 18 month check up:
She's a tall 32 inches and a light 23 pounds! 
Still in size 3 diapers, and I feel like her size 18 month clothing is going to be the shortest duration out of all of her clothes.  I did put her in a 2T outfit over the weekend, and it was pretty big on her, so we'll see.  I know she has at least 12 teeth, and we'll be going to the dentist in the new year.

She's saying new words every single day.  Some of the latest: "dark" "lights" "down" "book" "crane" "truck" "duck" "bzzz" for a bee "tickle".  That's all I can think of for now.

Her latest thing is "please" and "thank you".  Right now everything is either "milk" please please please please. "up" (to get up on the bed) please please please please. "up" (to get out of her booster seat) please please please.  Basically if she wants something it's please on repeat until she gets it. 

She'll say please automatically without me prompting, or if she doesn't say please, I'll just give her a look, and she knows to say it, or I'll ask her "what do you say?". 

Thank you on the other hand is totally different.  She'll only say thank you when I tell her "say thank you".  Specifically after I get her her milk or after I lift her up onto the bed, I'll say: "say thank you" and she'll say thank you.  I'll also prompt her to say thank you after I say "bless you" after she sneezes, and after she's done with her bath, I'll say "say Thank you Daddy" (Chris is the one to give her a bath).  And she'll say thank you.  However she won't say thank you when someone compliments her.  Which is rather annoying, since people are constantly complimenting her.  Someone will say how cute she is and I'll say to Helena "say Thank you" and she doesn't say anything.  It's frustrating because I know she can say it, but for whatever reason she won't.  So we're working on that. 

She's obsessed with everything owl.  She has a little owl blanket toy that goes with her everywhere (it was sheer panic when I thought I lost it the day we moved, thankfully it was found after unpacking!).  And "owl" is often on repeat.  So now we have an owl nightlight (after she broke her cow one) and Chris even got an inflatable owl that we light up at night with the Christmas lights on the house.  If we are out and about and sees an owl, she'll point it out immediately.

She loves to give hugs when I'm in the kitchen cooking.  She'll hug my legs super tight. 

She loves to throw things in the trash. 

Everything is up up up.  Even when she wants down.  If I'm holding her or if she is up on the bed she'll say up up up.  I'll correct her and say "no you want down" and she'll say down. 

She still kisses anything and everything.  Her latest thing is to kiss your cheek before kissing your lips.  She'll kiss one cheek then move your head to kiss your other cheek.  And she'll say "cheek".

She knows where majority of her body parts are.  Belly, nose, eye, ear, hair/head, hands, fingers, feet, toe.

She also loves babies.  She sees a picture of a baby, or a baby on TV, or a baby when we are out and about she immediately goes "baby baby".  Even if we see a infant car seat, she'll say baby.  She knows mommy has a baby in my belly and now likes to kiss my belly.  Last week we were at the OB office getting my 3-hour glucose test done which is in the same office as the two pediatricians in the town, so we saw lots of babies. She saw one that was 7 days old, and I could tell that one made her nervous because it was so small.  ...even if she sees a toddler/kid older than her, she'll refer to it as a baby. 

She loves to play peak a boo.  The cutest moment ever was when she was playing peak a boo with a piece of spaghetti.  She would put the noodle up to her eyes, then open her eyes move the noodle and say "boo!".  She gets so excited!

Our biggest challenge is still eating.  Lately she just won't eat at the kitchen table.  I thought maybe it was the highchair, so we put on a booster seat on one of the chairs, but she still won't eat.  She'll take a bite maybe two before saying "up up up".  Once I take her out and put her on the floor and she's walking around, if you offer her food she'll eat it right up.  So that's how she's eating right now.  Either while we are at the kitchen table and she's walking around or after the fact we'll just bring the food out into the living room.  And before you know she's eaten her entire meal.  I know she's hungry but she will not eat at the table.  I have no idea what to do with this.  I'm really hoping that it is a phase and she'll eventually want to sit down and eat with us. 

She went completely unphased by the move.  Which I am thankful for, but sad that she won't remember her first house, especially since I miss that house immensely. 
Life is good with my beautiful daughter.
sitting in her booster

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Oops we did it...again!

I'm feeling very nostalgic today and now that we have our computer up and running and a sleeping baby taking a nap I'm going to write a post about my beautiful friend Andrea. 

Andrea and I met in March 2012.  I was newly engaged and planning my wedding and already feeling so overwhelmed.  I didn't know it at the time but I was yearning for a friend, a friend that would know exactly what I was going through.  Someone who could listen and know what I mean.  I truly believe that at that moment God sent me Andrea.  Andrea too was newly engaged.  I can't remember if she had her wedding date set yet?...which is one big difference between Andrea and I, but once I met her and she told me she was planning her wedding a wave a relief swooped over me.  We met at work, and her cubicle was near mine.  I was ease-dropping when I heard her say she was engaged, I immediately got so excited, my heart start racing, and I wanted to run over give her a huge hug and say: Oh My GOD me too!!!  But I kept my cool, I think I somehow introduced myself and engaged with her and the fact that I too was engaged. 
From there, I guess you could say the rest is history.  We planned our entire weddings together.  I knew her wedding "secrets", she knew mine.  We both stressed over little things and family drama.  She was the exact person I needed in my life, right at that time.  Our friendship was just meant to be.  I can't put it more simply than that. 
We both dealt with what I guess I'll call the "wedding blues".  The low that happens after your get married.  After the big "to do" of the wedding.  Basically we both had these weird issues going on during the first couple months of 2013.  I remember having breakfast with her on my birthday that year, and it was not a super happy time for either of us.  Again, it was so nice to have her there and to know that she could somewhat relate to what I was feeling at that time.  I got to see own relationship with God grow as Chris and I became more and more comfortable in our new church.
I remember going to her over the summer that year, being frustrated about not getting pregnant. 
Then I remember the day after Labor Day 2013, waiting for her to get to work (I always got to work before she did), and once she arrived I immediately IMed her "Hey, do you want to go for a walk."  Once past the first corner around our building I exclaimed "I'm pregnant!"  Her response was something like: "No fu*!ing way, me TOO!"  We took a short walk around the building, and I couldn't believe we were pregnant at the same time!  Feelings of this friendship being meant to be swooped over me once again.  We spent our whole entire pregnancy together.  Our due dates were 2 weeks apart (just like our weddings were two weeks apart).  It was truly magical.  Her due date came and went and I hade Helena at 39 weeks, so Grayson and Helena are just 5 days a part.  I remember going to meet Grayson when I was still pregnant (Grayson was 3 days old, I think?).  Andrea said how motherhood is so amazing, and how your newborn child just knows.  Knows that you are their mother, that you are their for them unconditionally.  It was a beautiful and profound statement that I still carry with me to this day. 
Having our babies together so close in age is something magical.  She truly knows exactly what I'm going through.  If I have a bad day, she can relate.  She can relate in the love and the beautiful moments of seeing your little being grow.  In the same time! 
Then this, then this happened:
At the beginning of August Andrea and Grayson were over for a playdate, I was telling Andrea how I pictured my life going over the next two years in regards to work etc... and I ended it by telling her in my perfect world we would be pregnant together again at the same time.  Andrea reacted like that was crazy and how the chances of that happening were slim to none.  I thought so too, especially since Andrea was hoping to get pregnant sooner rather than later, and I was planning on getting pregnant later.  I knew if anything our next baby's would be somewhat close, I figured maybe within 9 months of each other.  But now...our due dates are a day apart!  So we're going through it all again.  When I knew we were moving and I would think about Andrea and telling her we were moving, I would immediately get teary eyed.  I knew this friendship would be the most difficult to say good-bye to.  Thankfully our good-bye wasn't as emotional as I anticipated with busy toddlers around.  But I miss her and Grayson so much.  I truly appreciate how she just gets it.  And I appreciate that!  She understands when she texts and I don't respond for hours or sometimes days.  And I know that she understands when I don't respond right away. 
I'm sad that these two babies won't grow up and get to know each other like Grayson and Helena.  I'm sad that Grayson and Helena no longer have playdates. 
There are many differences between Andrea and I, in the way we plan, the way we parent etc...But we have these common threads that are irreplaceable.  It's this natural understanding that I love.
I know Andrea and I will stay in touch, but I also know it just isn't the same. 

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Poppy Seed II

we're moved, but haven't gotten the computer set up, which is why
i haven't been blogging.
i know i'm behind.
i'll be trying to catch up.

written Monday 8/17/15
Dear Little Poppy Seed II,

Here we go again, and I’m still in a little bit of shock!  Thus far this pregnancy is completely different than my previous one.  One of the big differences was getting pregnant.  It took Chris and I 8 months to get pregnant with Helena.  This time we were barely trying, I guess I should say we were “not not trying”.  Make sense?  We both knew a second baby would be in the works, and in my “planner” mind my goal was to have a baby sometime in 2016.  And now that sometime is: April 2016!  I don’t know if I’ve ever publicly put it out on my blog, but let me just say that the idea of two under two scares the crap out of me!  And now I’m going to be THAT mom!  Granted it’ll only be few weeks, but still.  My “ideal” timeframe would have been to get pregnant between October and March.  So the gap would have been closer to 2 ½ years.  I planned, and God laughed!!! 
And here we are.  Pregnant.
Unlike last time, I didn’t know.  Last time I knew I was pregnant.  I knew I would take a pregnancy test, and I knew it would be positive.  I had gotten to know my body so well.    This time I had no clue, and I kept going back and forth about the whole thing.  This time I didn’t know my body, in fact I feel like I’m still getting to know my body, post pregnancy from Helena.  July was only my 3rd normal cycle since getting a normal period back after breastfeeding, going off of the pill etc…. So I had no “signs”.
My patience finally gave in on Thursday 8/13 when I took a pregnancy test in the middle of the day.  It was negative. I was expecting my period either Friday or Saturday.  Friday morning I told Chris about my negative pregnancy test and to rant to him about all the thoughts going on in my head.  I was completely confused as to why I hadn’t started my period while at the same time convincing myself I wasn’t pregnant, but then a split second later convincing myself that I was indeed pregnant.  All while trying to decide when I should re-test.  I even convinced myself that I had cramps Friday night, so surely my period was about to start!  As Friday and Saturday passed with no sign of my period I was mentally exhausted!  I woke up early Sunday morning while having the same conversation in my head trying to decide if I should take another test.  I finally decided to take another test because I knew it would calm me down.  I thought for sure it would be negative. 
But it wasn’t too long before that second line showed up.  I seriously thought I was seeing things.  I kept doing a double take.  Look at the test then look at myself in the mirror with a question on my face.  Back and forth back and forth.  I thought: No way can this be real.  Am I really pregnant?!  Obviously the answer is in those two pink lines.  I went out into the living room to grab my phone and take a picture of the beginning of this little life. 
When I saw the negative test on Thursday I could feel a missing piece of my heart.  And I knew I wanted to try for another baby, soon.  Then seeing the positive on Sunday it was almost disbelief that the missing piece was filled so quickly after realizing I had it.  I crawled back into bed a little after 6am, Chris awoke shortly after.  Thinking that this might be our last pregnancy I wanted to do a special “announcement”.  …which of course had been planned in my head for months.  Chris asked if I took another test and I lied and said “no”.  Even going on explaining to him that I really think my period is about to start. 
Once we realized we didn’t have any food for breakfast he left to go get breakfast burritos, and I put my plan in place: A bun in the oven!  Once Chris got home I asked him to check in the oven for something.  He immediately asked if it was a bug?!  I kept prompting him to look and when he did he asked why there was bread in the oven.  I could tell he had no clue what I was trying to tell him.  After a few seconds of him starring at the bun he looked at me, and I could tell he had figured it out.  After hugs and kisses I took him to the positive pregnancy test.  After more hugs and some tears he tells me that he knew I was pregnant after not getting my period.  Ha!  We shared our excitement and extreme shock at how quickly this pregnancy came about. 
Although this pregnancy is sorta a surprise I feel extremely blessed.  I feel super excited to be making our family bigger and to be making Helena a big sister!  Sunday August 16, 2015 was a life changing day.  To go to bed the night before just thinking about me, then the next night my thoughts are about this baby.  Like last time it is extremely hard not to tell people this life changing news. 
My first prenatal appointment is set for September 28th, when I’ll be 10 weeks.  I have the same feelings of last time and repeating in my head nonstop: “Please Dear Lord let this baby be ok” “Please Dear Lord let this baby be healthy”.  All while feeling very “wonder woman” like walking around with thoughts about the fact that I’m currently growing a human!  What’s your secret super power?!
As much as a shock at the ease this pregnancy came I feel so blessed and excited to have another little baby!  I’m honored that I’ve been trusted to be a Mom to this little Baby Sweat #2!
Thank you Baby Sweat #2 for making your home with me.  I promise to love you unconditionally and always look after you.


here's my letter to Helena

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Limbo in Limbo

Moving sucks.
Whether you are moving across the street or in this case 500+ miles, moving just plain sucks.  We've been preparing for this moving for the past 3 weeks.  I've been feeling a little lost as we have no routine and we've just been in limbo as we wait for the next big thing.  But we've been able to keep busy, clean the house, list the house, get out of the house for showings, pack up the house, etc...
Chris did the work to find a moving company.  He found a company and we had requested a move date of either 10/27 or 10/28.  We got a call on 10/27 advising us a truck would be here to load us up between noon and 5pm on 10/28.  On the morning of 10/28 we even got a call asking if we had heard from our driver and again confirming our driver would show up between noon and 5pm.  When we didn't hear anything by 1pm we called and were told there was a delay and that the soonest someone would come pick us up is Friday between noon and 5pm.  After hysterically this point in time we were ALL packed up and ready to go and complaining to numerous people we settled with the fact we weren't going to leave until Friday.  We unpacked our essentials, remade the beds, canceled the orders to cancel the internet and TV and just waited.  Friday morning we again received confirmation a driver would be here to pick us up between noon and 5pm.  By 2pm we actually heard from our driver and he advised he was 2 hours away from Fort Collins, he let us know he needed to unload a house in Fort Collins, and that load would take at least 6 hours to unload.  So by yesterday afternoon we knew we weren't going anywhere.  So again we unpacked and remade the beds.  Last night we got confirmation again from both a manager and the driver that we would be picked up by 10am this morning.  It is now almost 11am and nobody can get a hold of the driver.  We are...again ready to go.
I've never experienced anything like this before, and I never want to again.  Trying to keep Helena entertained while we literally stare at the front door waiting for a truck to pull up is exhausting.  I am exhausted.  I can't live like this much longer.  Chris as already advised his boss he will no be at this first day of work on Monday, and this worries me deeply.  Chris needs to keep this job, and as of right now who knows if he'll be in NM to show up to work on Tuesday.
Our limbo is literally in limbo.  We can't leave our house.  It's horrible.  I've cried so much over the past week and we're at the mercy of this horrific moving company.
I had hoped to be in Alamogordo by now so we could take Helena Trick or Treating in our new neighborhood to try and introduce ourselves and start to process of hopefully making some new friends.  And now, who knows if we'll be able to take Helena Trick or Treating at all.  ...something I was really looking forward to, regardless of location.

Happy Halloween everyone!

We did carve pumpkins last weekend while my parents were in town, it was something I wanted to make sure we did with Helena.  It was a super fun time.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Pregnancy Weeks 4 - 14

9/27/15: 10w4d - Baby Sweat #2 is waving "HI"

It's been a crazy 11 weeks:  Here's a recap.

Week 4: Poppy Seed
8/16 – 8/22
I’m super tired this week, but feel like I’m using my energy well chasing after my 15 month old.  I have zero appetite and nothing sounds appetizing.  I feel like I can’t drink enough water, as I always feel like I have “dry mouth”.  Which of course only increases the bathroom trips even more! 

Week 5: Sesame Seed
8/23 – 8/29
I found out this week I don’t have a job as of 9/4.  I’m beyond scared.  My daughter and my unborn child officially have two unemployed parents.  In the span of 8 days my life drastically changed, twice. 
I completed a 5K on Thursday and was so sore!

Week 6: Lentil
8/30 – 9/5
I’m so emotionally drained and I have no motivation.  I have no desire to cook and the only time I really feel hungry is in the mornings.  I’m praying constantly: “Please Dear Lord let this baby be ok.”  “Please Dear Lord let this baby be healthy.”  With everything going on it is weird keeping this news to myself.  I’m almost scared to announce I’m pregnant just because of what people might think.

Week 7:  Blueberry
9/6 -9/12
We traveled to Kearney, NE over the Labor Day holiday.  We decided to leave the night before.  Chris and I both agreed a change of scenery would do us some good.  And it did.  Being at my in-laws I get to totally relax.  I know Helena will be taken care of, and I know I'll be taken care of.  I truly just relaxed and stayed in my stage of denial a little bit longer.  I got to take naps!  I'm so not a nap taker, but growing this baby has made me exhausted, so I took an afternoon nap daily!  

Week 8: Kidney Bean
9/13 - 9/19
I'm so tired, and not sleeping very good isn't helping.  I've been super nausea lately a lot more than I ever was with Helena.  I feel like I'm going to puke all day long, but nothing ever actually happens.  

Week 9: Grape
9/20 - 9/26
Super busy this week.  Flew to Albuquerque to drive to Alamogordo for a job interview with Chris.  I don't want to move, but know we have to look at all options.

Week 10: Kumquat 
9/27 - 10/3
Had my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound on Monday 9/28!  Baby measured a little ahead of schedule at 10w4d with a super strong heart rate of 178!  We saw some movements and baby waving "HI" as if to tell me everything is going to be ok, and I cried and cried!  Plus my mom and Helena got to see baby which was super special!  In other big news, we decided this week to move to Alamogordo.  

Week 11: Fig
10/4 - 10/10
In Albuquerque this week.  I'm back to being tired, and super nauseated in the afternoon/evening.  These long bouts of nausea are not fun, but thankfully I have yet to get sick.

Week 12: Lime
10/11 - 10/17
I feel like my weeks are blending into each other.  I'm more focused on Helena and the fact that we are moving than this baby.  I feel guilty as I have moments of "oh, right I am pregnant."  This week we got the house cleaned up and put on the market.

Week 13: Pea Pod
10/18 - 10/24 
The house in under contract, and I'm trying to memorize everything about Colorado, as this is our last full week in the state I've called home for the last 13 and a half years.  We have this beautiful tree in our backyard that is so vibrantly red.  I'm seeing friends and saying good-bye.  I'm heartbroken and continue to pray this baby is happy and healthy.

Week 14: Lemon
10/25 - 10/31
Had my second appointment today (10/27), I was super anxious about hearing babies heartbeat.  But thankfully the heart-rate was in the high 150's and healthy.  We said good-bye to my doctor and the nurses, and I'm already dreading the search for a new OB.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

where to start?

Big pumpkins!

My world

She's growing up!

fun at the park
i'm not too sure where to begin.  i have so much going on in my mind.  if i'm random and all over the place, i apologize in advance. 
our last full week in Denver has officially come to a close, and in my blogging mind i keep going back to a simpler time before i knew we would move.
at the end of september (right after we were in ABQ and Alamogordo {what's the abbreviation for Alamogordo?}) my mom and aunt deanna came up for a visit, for my aunt deanna to celebrate her birthday with her daughter; my cousin that lives in fort collins. 
we had a super fun time at a nursery down in Littleton where there was a big pumpkin contest.  these pumpkins were huge!  everyone had a great time. 
during that weekend we celebrated Chris' birthday, and i feel so bad, but i can't really remember what we did to celebrate.  this is the mush going on in my head.  i know majority of the time i want time to go fast and speed up to the next "big" thing that i'm anticipating.  lately i've been praying that the days slow down.

our house got under contract in less than 3 days.  we went on the market last friday (10/16) afternoon, and were under contract by monday afternoon.  we got 3 offers, two above asking price.  the inspection is tomorrow.  i'm telling myself that this all part of His plan, to show me that this is where we are suppose to go.  that had this happened 3 years ago, we wouldn't have been able to make it work because the market 3 years ago wasn't what it is today.  the fact that the selling of our house has been somewhat easy and non-stressful, is a sign that all the pieces are falling where they are suppose to. everything just seems surreal.  in the middle of all of this i still need to blog about the rest of Ocotober happenings:
Going back to ABQ for the Balloon Fiesta
Marty and Mary's visit and the Denver Zoo
Chendra babysitting: what will be our last date night.  Movie: Bridge of Spies and dinner: Rock Bottom.
Hanging out with Sarah Z and her kiddos
Swimming with  Sarah D and her little boy
Getting in play dates with Andrea and Grayson
Chopping off my hair
Having my parents come visit and family pictures
Dinner with Chris' old co-workers
What will most likely be our last Broomfield United Methodist Church service
Lastly, what was suppose to be the now postponed Janet Jackson concert

Stay tuned, hopefully I'll get to all of that!

Friday, October 16, 2015

A new Adventure?

The Sweat's are moving to Alamogordo, New Mexico.

It's not real, until it is real.  It's becoming more and more real.
My life is drastically changing and I'm still in denial about well, all of it.  There are a lot of positives that this move brings, but I'm just not ready to look at all of the good, until I am totally done grieving the things I'm losing (have lost), and that will probably be awhile.

We traveled to Alamogordo (about 3 hours south of Albuquerque) at the end of September for Chris to have an in person interview and to check out the town.  Similar to Albuquerque, Alamogordo is super spread out and dirty.  I wasn't impressed.  It's a military town of about 30,000 and near White Sands National Monument, and about 90 minutes north of El Paso, TX.  By October 1st we had decided to move.  We met with our pastor to discuss this move and all of the fears that I have...mainly Chris not being able to keep this job.  Pastor Ken advised to look at it as a adventure, just one of life's many curve balls.    Ultimately with me not having a job, and Chris not having a job, I feel like this is the right path for our family.   After lots of endless praying, I can't help but feel and hope that this door is opening for a reason.

I'm still grieving the loss of my job, although thankfully I've been super busy since being unemployed.  But having that security for 12 years I'm still going through an adjustment.
Now I'm grieving what I know I'm about to lose: my house.  I love my house.  Even though when we bought this house Chris knew there would be a time we would move again, I had a small dream that this house would be our forever home.  I knew I would want that "forever home" for my family, I'm used to that stability.  My parents still live in the only house I ever lived in, in Albuquerque.  I had hoped to provide that for Helena.  Now that is a dream I have to say good-bye to.
I'm losing my friends, my church, my gym.  It's a lot, and I don't want to go.

Isn't there always a but?
I am gaining a lot.
With the cost of living being much cheaper in Alamogordo and Chris' new job, another dream of mine will become a reality.  I will get to stay home with Helena.  Obviously, this is huge, and I'm extremely grateful for this opportunity to get to stay home full time with my daughter.
We will also be much closer to family.  Being only 3 hours away from my parents, and majority of my extended family is a luxury I haven't had for the past 13 hours, and one that I know Helena will gain a lot from.
I'll be near other families with kids.  Since Alamogordo is a military town, I hope to be able to easily make new friends with Mom's who have kids.
It's only temporary.  Chris is working for Aramark a worldwide company, and his new employer knows he has no desire to live in southern New Mexico for the rest of his life, and ideally we want to end up someplace more metropolitan.

I never thought I would be moving back to New Mexico, let alone Alamogordo, New Mexico.  And although I know this is a step forward for our family, part of me feels like it is a step back.

I've been highly emotional and sobbing just about every single day.  Everything has been moving at lightening speed, Chris starts his new job 11/2.  Getting the house ready, seeing friends, it's been hectic and overwhelming.
There are so many things I'm going to miss about Denver.  I'm not even going to attempt to list it out as I don't want to start crying. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

where am i?

let me apologize about my lengthy absence.  there is a lot going on and i hope to get up to date soon.

i hate to be vague but for now i'll be keeping all of you in suspense! 

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Labor Day Weekend

Riding a pony that used to be Auntie Alice's
 Considering I'm unemployed I really have no excuse except for laziness in regards to my lack of blogging.  So let's hope I can step it up. 
Here's a recap of our trip to Kearney, NE over Labor Day.
Prior to finding out I would be unemployed at the beginning of the month we had discussed a Labor Day trip to Nebraska to visit Chris' parents and sister.  We didn't really make any plans and then once we found out I was getting laid off we completely dismissed the idea altogether.  Then the night before deciding to go I mentioned it.  And well we decided last minute that a change of scenery would do us some good.  So we called his parents at around 8 at night (9 there time) to let them know we would be showing up the next day. 
We packed up and hit the road around Helena's nap time.  She instantly fell asleep and stayed that way for about 3 hours!  We stopped with just 2 hours left and had some lunch, she really didn't want to get back in the car seat, and the last two hours were a little rough, but over all she did an awesome job!
I love the simplicity of going to visit my in-laws.  I know I've stated it before, but no TV, just hanging out and visiting, playing games etc...  They have a big beautiful backyard that the living room looks out onto, and it's just so peaceful.  Helena LOVED being outside and the friendliness of the pets.
Helena did really well with the new atmosphere!  She even slept in Alice's old crib.  She enjoyed going up and down (and up and down and up and down) the stairs in Grandma and Grandpa's house! 
She even had her very own ice cream cone (the end of one that Grandma had eaten) and she loved it!
I loved it because Helena was well taken care of and I was able to lay back and relax!  It truly was a vacation.
Helping Grandma water the plants

She's a good helper!

The highlight of the trip: Giving kisses!!!!

Mom got to relax!

She loves her Auntie Alice!

And of course ice cream!

Picking tomatos with Grandma.  (notice she has one in each hand, and one in her mouth!)

Grandpa got in on the kisses too!!!

Three beautiful ladies!: Great-Grandma, Grandma, and Helena
On our way back Chris gave me a tour of this childhood.  The first stop was in Lexington which was were Chris graduated High School.  Then to Gothenburg which was where Chris was born.  Lastly was Brady where Chris went to elementary school and lived on a ranch.  It was a fun little tour!

Friday, September 11, 2015

new milestones

her first ice cream cone over Labor Day weekend
Helena is growing up so fast.  She’s super tall and looks so kid-like to me!  She loves to give me cuddles and when she does I’ll hold her with her head in my arms and cradle her like a baby and say over and over again “Are you my itty bitty baby?!”  It’s rather annoying for Chris, but I love it.  She’s becoming more and more independent with her eating habits.  And majority of the time refuses to let us feed her.  So she feeds herself and sometimes food actually gets in her mouth.  She’s also officially off of the bottle.  Over the past couple of months or so she was still having a nighttime bottle, but we gradually decreased the milk and now she goes to bed without it!  Her nighttime routine now consists of bath, getting ready for bed-lotion and pajamas, bedtime reading, then she says good night to Chris, I take her in the rocking chair and cuddle with her for a little before putting her down.  She still sleeps through the night!  On occasion (maybe once a month?) she’ll wake up and not put herself back down, during those nights I’m not too sure what to do with her! 
She really truly loves to be outside.  And is so incredibly loving.  She signs “cookie” almost instantly once she is put in her highchair.  She’ll also signs “milk” when she wants milk.  I have no idea what to do with her hair.  If I leave her hair down it covers her entire face!  Part of me wants to cut it or at least trim bangs, but part of me doesn’t want to touch it because that’s her hair!  She loves, loves to give kisses to anything and everything!  
She's a really good listener when she wants to be, still loves peek-a-boo and dancing!  She always wakes up happy and that makes me so happy.  When she sees a little baby, she'll point and say "baby".  She loves to run and climb, and a couple of weeks ago went down a slide with no coaxing from either Chris or I.  She'll sometimes scream bloody murder when we try to change her diaper first thing in the morning.  Who knows what that is about, but it is no fun.  She loves to read.  
She's such a joy and I love her.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

I'm Not Ok

my mom shared this today on FB it's sorta perfect.  Thanks Mom.
Ever heard of the expression “when it rains it pours”?  That’s my life right now.  Although I feel extremely blessed that there are only a few rare moments in my life when I’ve thought “when it rains in pours”.  This moment?  It is one of them.
I found out on Monday that I’m being laid off and that my last day of work is next Friday 9/4.  This news obviously doesn't mix well with what I wrote about here.
With everything going on I’m currently in the denial stage of grief and I feel like the verge of depression that's been creeping in me is about to take a full on nose dive.  I honestly have no idea what to do.  I feel like the last few days of my life have been fake, how else can it be explained, except for it didn’t really happen?  But it did.
My first thought goes towards Helena and the fact that she now has two unemployed parents.  To say I’m scared is an understatement.  The silver lining in all of this is I’ve been with this company for almost 12 years and I’m getting a somewhat decent severance package.  Let’s go back to that 12 year deal.  Twelve years, that’s a long time.  I’ve always been an extremely stable person, and a good employee.  I have extremely good work ethic so being without a job makes me uncomfortable.    When I got my first fulltime job at 19 I stayed with that company for almost four years, that’s a long time when you are 19.  Then I moved to Denver, the job I moved for laid me off after 6 months.  (the company went out of business.)  after that I was without a job for six months, I remember at the time I had never been without a job, but how all the pieces just worked out…the same month that I got laid off I got a roommate (so my rent was cut in half) and I paid off my car (so I no longer had a car payment).  Having those two big expenses off of my shoulders helped relieve me a little.  After searching for a job for six months I got a job as a assistant manager at the fine jewelry counter at Foley’s (which is now Macy’s).  I excelled at the management stuff and sucked at the selling jewelry part.  I can’t remember exactly how it happened but while I was working there I got connected with Qwest.  And well the rest is history.  I went from selling jewelry to working for the phone company.  And now we are at present day.  I’ve been through so many changes and transitions since I started working here.  From working on the phones, having my first real boyfriend, working in the Union, changing positions, previous lay offs, losing weight, meeting Chris, merging from Qwest to CenturyLink, getting married, having a baby, getting promoted.  A lot has changed personally and professionally.  Through it all one thing was consistent.  And now that identity is gone.  In a flash.  I get lost in all the elements that I give myself a headache. 
Chris as a lot of prospects and we hope to find something out soon, but I’m not going to lie, that doesn’t give me a lot of comfort.  I feel like I’m in limbo and I hate it.  I had a really good thing with CenturyLink, good benefits, good pay, good vacation time.  Now I have to start over.  I’ve been doing what I can do, and that is praying.  I’ve been praying a lot.  I know that God will take care of us and put us in the space that we need to be in, but I’m so damn scared.  So I ask of you blogland give me all the good stuff you can give!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Summer Weekends

 At the early literacy fair at the Broomfield library.
 A girl and her tractor.
 At the beginning of the month we headed to Golden to go for a little “hike”.  This wasn’t a hike at all (it was completely paved) but we walked along a stream and got our feet wet!

The second weekend of the month we went to the Adams County Fair!  We saw lots of animals and had a great time

 She loves splashpads!

This past weekend was pretty jam-packed.  I honestly love weekends like this.  I like to spend my time being busy.  Friday we went to the Orchard for their free concert summer series.  We splurged and got a pizza and made it a fun family night out!  We got rained on a little bit, but after the rain we had fun walking around and dancing!
Saturday morning we headed out early to the Aurora Reservoir a good hour away from us for Helena to get her picture taken on the “beach”!  Helena even got some pictures with Grayson!  After the photo shoot we went home for a nap, then took off to Lafayette for a Peach Festival.  It was so hot!  But we enjoyed walking around and looking at all the vendors.  The peach smoothie and peach cobbler we fantastic!!!

And have I mentioned she loves to be outside!