Christmastime 2016

Giving Papa and Bennett a ride

out showing Helena Christmas lights

making sugar cookies

Bennett is ready to open presents!

playing with Grandmasita

they love each other

rolling under the tree

Christmas in Kearney

she loves her Auntie Alice

helping Great Grandma open presents

Christmas morning

Helping Grandpa

playing at the Children's Museum

Giving Grandpa a check-up

the famous wagon ride!

We had two Christmases this year.  One with my parents the week before Christmas and one with my in-laws at their house in Kearney, NE.
My parents came down the week before Christmas.  We made sugar cookies, went looking at lights, and opened presents!  It was a lot of fun, and the kids had a blast!
And of course Helena and Bennett got spoiled.
The Thursday before Christmas we started on the 13 hour journey to Kearney.  I was not looking forward to this drive.  I don't like driving 3 hours to Albuquerque so planning for this trip wasn't fun for me.  We only did 6 and half hours each day so we stayed in a hotel coming and going, so it took us 2 days to get to our final destination.  It just sucks, because traveling from one small town to another small town, there is just no easy way.  We were on small state highways the whole time driving slowing down every hour or so to drive through another small town.  So the drive just goes slow.  Plus driving for a total of 4 days to only be there for 5 days.  But we had a good time, as usual the atmosphere at my in-laws is just so relaxing.  My MIL made home cooked meals each night and we just enjoyed the company.  The first night was really hard for Helena as she didn't have a place to sleep.  So her and Chris slept out in the living room.  For the rest of the trip Helena slept in Great-Grandma's room, while Great-Grandma slept downstairs.  Helena and Bennett enjoyed daily wagon rides, and Helena got to bake cookies with Grandma.  Bennett got lots of love from everyone!  Chris and I even got a night out.  We went to the Kearney Children's Museum.  Overall it was a fun trip!  And of course Helena and Bennett got spoiled.  Helena got an amazing owl recliner and Bennett got fun toys!
We thankfully had no weather to worry about on the drive, and Chris did some of the driving home which I appreciated.
We got home to spend the New Year as a family.  I usually love to stay up until midnight but I just couldn't hang and rang in the new year asleep in my bed.

not this year

I gotta be honest, I am not in the holiday spirit this year.  After we returned home from spending Thanksgiving in Albuquerque we put up the tree and the decorations.  My main motivation to decorate the house was to put me in the holiday spirit.  I was hopefully that the decorations would put me out of this funk.  To enjoy my house at Christmastime.  But it unfortunately had the opposite effect.  In fact I feel like it has made me down right depressed.  I'm sad because this house isn't our "home" and I just want to spend Christmas in a place that is home.
My family is going through a huge transition as Chris is currently working in Northern California 4 days a week (it was previously Houston) and daily I'm wondering where we will be living.  I didn't really do Christmas gifts this year and I'm lucky to have gotten Christmas cards out and mailed. Monday's are always the hardest because Chris leaves super early on Monday mornings.  I have a break down every Monday usually around 5pm when I would normally expect him home.
This back and forth isn't good for our family.  Back in August when Chris was told the Aramark contract at the hospital here in Alamogordo would end early I immediately thought we would be spending Christmas someplace else.  That Chris would have found a permanent job by now and we would have moved.  And as for right now we'll be doing this back and forth thing through February.  It's hard because I see no point in living in Alamogordo.  If I would have known Chris would have only had his job here for 8 months we would've never moved.  And now everything is back up in the air.  The only reason we are still here is because we have a lease to fulfill through the end of April.  If we don't have anywhere to go by then the kids and I will most likely move in with my parents.  Which I hate the idea of doing.  I like to feel settled and I feel like we've been unsettled since Chris got fired for the first time back in July 2013.  All of it just makes me sad and frustrated.  And now we have to drive to Kearney, NE for Christmas.  And getting from one small town to another small town, well there is just no easy way to get there.  I'll have to do all of the driving, which I don't like to drive.  Who knows what the driving conditions will be like, and we'll stay overnight in the middle of nowhere Kansas halfway there to break up the drive.  It's just a lot.  Overall I'm just sad that I'm sad this holiday season.  Usually I really enjoy Christmas and I wish this depression wasn't lingering over me because I want to enjoy this season with my kids and truly enjoy the present.  But often times I find myself crying and being sad, or just frustrated.
Then I feel guilty because truly the things I have to complain about aren't that bad.  And I have so many blessings around me.  I have two amazing kids that I get to stay home with.  As much as I write about my dislike for Alamogordo I've made a pretty good life here and I have some amazing friends.  We are close to my parents, who gratefully come down about once a month to see us.  So truly I shouldn't complain.  I just crave stability and I want a place to call home.

4th of July weekend

how cute is this onsie?  courtesy of Grandma Sweat, of course!

hanging out outside

super cute 4th of July dress!

sparklers!

she loves her grandma

My in-laws were in town for the 4th of July, and I'm just so appreciative that they have made the drive to come see us.  It truly means so much.
We had a great time.  On the 4th of July we drove up to Cloudcroft a small mountain town about 30 minutes away and at least 10 degrees cooler!  We checked out the Apple Barn Store, had lunch, and walked around the town.  It was a lot of fun.
I love seeing how my in-laws interact with Helena and Bennett.  They both love the attention!  Helena had a lot of naked time playing outside with the little pool and water toys!  We tried to watch the big fireworks show from our house on the 4th, but we couldn't see it.  I was sad Helena didn't get the experience, so we did fireworks in the driveway the next day.  She loved the sparklers.
Right now on repeat is Helena asking "what's that?" "what's that?" and "what's that noise?" "what's that noise?"  over and over and over again.  And it was nice to have other people respond!

Easter Weekend

 We had a great Easter Weekend.  I'm really truly trying to treasure these last handful of weekends while we are a family of three.
We went to a local park for a little Easter parade, the Easter bunny, and a Easter Egg hunt.  It was a lot of fun.  The day before we were blessed with getting a beautiful dress in the mail from Grandma Sweat!  These dress is beautiful, and the second one (like it) that Grandma Sweat has made.  Helena wore the first one for my maternity photo shoot!  I'm so thankful she has such a crafty Grandma to make her these truly special items!
Saturday afternoon we had another meeting with my doula.  It was a great meeting, and I'm feeling more and more at peace about this baby and birth, and feeling comfortable that he'll let me know when he wants to come.
We went to a special Saturday afternoon Easter Service at a new church (we're still church shopping).  The service was ok, Chris and I were distracted as Helena accidentally got called from the day care.  So I think we need to give this church another try.

Easter Egg Hunting

 Helena didn't get a visit from the Easter Bunny last year, so we made sure he made a stop this year.  She got some hot wheels cars, stickers, and a little fish rubber thing.  And a stuffed bunny that we got from the daycare at church last week.  She really enjoyed all the goodies!
We then went up to Ruidoso to Inn at Mountain of the Gods for some Easter Brunch.  We thankfully got there right before there were done serving breakfast.  We walked around the property and had a great time.

 When we got home we colored some eggs which Helena really enjoyed, and was worried about making a mess!

 Then right before bath time Chris "hid" the eggs in the backyard, and we did another Easter Egg hunt.  She had a great time walking around saying "looking eggs".  Chris hid the eggs twice and it was a lot of fun.  She's now obsessed with eggs.

It was a great weekend.  Chris and I even watched a movie (over two nights) The Martian.  It was a really good movie.

New Year's Eve 2015 & 2015 Year in Review

New Year's Eve was low key.  We stayed home.  I made a yummy dinner of Green Chili Chicken Enchiladas and brownie sundaes.  We even let Helena in on the party.  She didn't take a bath and stayed up with us until past 9pm.  It was a lot of fun.  We flipped channels between year in review stuff and Dick Clarks Rockin' Eve.  We climbed into bed at around 11:30pm and cuddled, and kissed as the ball dropped and rang in 2016.  I'm pretty sure this is the first year Chris didn't fall asleep on my lap and it was a special experience to have him awake throughout the whole duration of New Years Eve!

Year in Review: 2015

What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? Move somewhere I didn't want to move.

What moments from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory? Returning from Florida to have Chris tell me he lost his job.  Going into my bosses office 4 weeks pregnant to find out I'm getting laid off.  That Friday morning reading Andrea's text announcing her pregnancy and feeling sad I wasn't pregnant, just to find out 3 days later, I am indeed pregnant.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?  Trying to be as relaxed as possible through so many unexpected life changes.

What was your biggest failure? Being inpatient with my husband.

 Did you suffer illness or injury? My horrible back sprain over 4th of July weekend.

 What was the best thing you bought? A "Love at First Sight" sonogram frame for baby boys room.

What were your favorite 3 photos of 2014?

Helena and Chris' Baptism ~ January 2015

Helena's First Birthday party ~ May 2015

Playdates with Grayson ~ October 2015

What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Being pregnant.

 What song will always remind you of 2014? "Hello" by Adele.

 What do you wish you’d done more of? Blogging.

What do you wish you’d done less of? Not communicating.

 What was your favorite new TV show?  I didn't watch anything new.

What was the best book you read? I definitely want to read more in 2016.

 What did you want and get? To be a stay at home mom.

 What did you want and not get? I didn't want to move.

What's something you fell in love with? My son.

 What was your family's favorite kid's book? The Bible.  Any Pookie book.  Tickle Me book.

What kept you sane? My husbands patience, my mother-in-laws food, my mom's cleaning.  And texting with Andrea. (this is the same as my 2015 answer).  I'm thankful that some things didn't change!

 Who was the best new person you met? Probably new Alamogordo friends.

 What was a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015? I plan, and God laughs. 

Christmas 2015

I got this little jumper for my God-daughter Katherine when she was almost 2, now Helena gets to wear it!

Christmas morning

hanging with Grandpa

Smiles with Grandma

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

Christmas as come and done, and I feel like our celebration this year was sorta a waste.  I did a lot of work, and I find myself questioning what it was all for.  Last year after the holidays Chris and I decided we would be staying home (Denver) for the holidays.  I had really looked forward to that.  Once we moved and I knew it would be different, I just felt different.  About a week and a half before Christmas Chris and I laid in bed and discussed what to do for dinner.  I knew I didn't want to spend Christmas in Alamogordo.  What I really wanted was to erase time and spend our holiday in Denver.  The next best thing (I guess) was to drive the 3 hours to Albuquerque and spend it with my family.  

Christmas Eve eve Chris and I opened presents and put out the rest of the presents for Helena under the tree.  I made biscuits and gravy in the morning and Helena opened her gifts while we FaceTimed with Grandma and Grandpa Sweat.  We left around noon.  That afternoon/evening drove to my Aunt Patti and Uncle Jeff's house.  They have a beautiful new house in Corrales that has an amazing view, it's breathtaking.  It was a fun to see a lot of family and just hang out.  Helena looked super cute in her Christmas dress.  I made a gender reveal cake for my family to tell them the news that baby is boy, and it turned out ok.  The family got the idea and are thrilled the family is getting another boy! Our family seems to have a pretty solid pattern of alternating boy girl boy girl.  

Christmas Day was sorta boring especially since my family doesn't socialize.  My dad watched basketball all day long, Chris watched work videos, I'm not too sure what my mom did.  That morning Helena and I went to my friend Michelle's parents house to hangout for a little bit.  During Helena's nap time I cooked a pizza appetizer thing and some guacamole.  For dinner we had tamales.  This is something I want to drastically change for my family, especially now that we are a family of four.  I want to actually create memories and traditions for Christmas Day.  Growing up in my family Christmas Day has never really been that exciting.  The big day as always been Christmas Eve.  So any fun traditions you have for Christmas Day please share!

By that evening the big news was the massive snow storm coming into southeastern NM.  My big fear was the state highways, specifically highway 380 which takes us east before heading south to Alamogordo.  In my ideal world we would have just stayed in Albuquerque until Monday, but the bigger problem was Chris didn't pack his correct amount of pills.  So we had to be back in Alamogordo on Sunday, at the latest.  So we decided to leave on Saturday.  On Saturday there was another family get together, which we missed.  And that just sucked.  So the one full day we were in Albuquerque (Christmas Day) we didn't even really do anything.  

Who knows when we'll live in a place that feels like home again for me to really feel like I want to create traditions and memories but I honestly want to get there already.

December 2015

Christmas Festival Downtown Alamogordo

1st time seeing Santa after a 1 year absence, she wasn't too thrilled.

She loves these blow-up figures

She did pretty good with the ornaments, we had to fatalities this year!

She warmed up nicely to Santa at the El Paso Mall.

So focused helping with the Gingerbread house.

Our mantel, Helena loved the lights!

3rd Santa visit was a success at the Alamogordo library!

Checking out the largest pistachio in the world!

She had a blast helping me make sugar cookies!

I made her, her very own felt Christmas tree!

Dad put up Christmas lights and got an owl!

Who knows if I'll ever catch up on blogging, I really want to blog more, document more and remember more.  I miss my blog, I miss a lot of things, and I feel this is one thing I have control over.  That I can easily incorporate back into my weekly schedule.  

We've been busy this month.  

At the beginning of the month there was a little Christmas Festival in downtown Alamogordo.  Downtown exists of one block, but we had a good time.  There was a live Nativity, Santa, and hot chocolate.  This was her first experience since last Christmas meeting Santa, and she was scared.  Over the course of the month we saw Santa two more times, and by the third time she was ok with him.  She'll now say Santa and is fascinated by his hat.  

In the middle of the month we took the drive to El Paso for some shopping.  The drive is about an hour and half and it was crazy.  I don't see us going back anytime soon.  The mall was insane.  Just crazy.  We did get some shopping done, but the experience wasn't pleasant.  I made a reservation for Helena to have a sit down with Helena and brought her Christmas dress and everything.  Upon arrival for our reservation the whole camera and computer system had gone down.  It was beyond frustrating.  I had made a dinner reservation for an hour after the meeting with Santa so we didn't have time to hang out.  Thankfully Santa came over, and that gave Helena the opportunity to warm up to him.  He gratefully took a selfie with us, so it wasn't a total waste, but I'm sad that we won't have an official Santa picture this year.  

Closer to the end of the month Santa was making an appearance at  the Alamogordo library.  So we checked that out.  This was a success, and had I known Helena would be good I would have brought her Christmas dress.  But we got a somewhat decent picture!