Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Overall I had a pretty active weekend. I got outside did some workouts. It felt good. Sad to say but I can’t remember the last time I was active and worked out on both a Saturday and a Sunday.
My main motivation for going to the gym Saturday morning was to weight myself. I was good with Weight Watchers all week long (tracked my food Monday through Saturday) and wanted to see if I had any results to input on my actual weight loss. I’m down to 188. Not good. But not bad, as it is a loss. I’ve lost 3 pounds. And am slowly becoming more strict with myself and the food that goes in my mouth.
Friday night Chris and I ate out on the patio, and he asked if I wanted a drink. I said no. He asked why, and I let him know I didn’t want to drink the calories. He then asked “So does this mean no more wine?” I said “Yes, for a while. But that just because I’m not drinking it doesn’t mean you can’t.” He stated “But if I want a drink of wine, it’s because I want to share wine with you.” Drinking is such a social thing. And even though I don’t want this diet to affect him, I can’t help that it will. He’s stated that there is nothing wrong with him being healthy too, but he isn’t over weight. Has never been over weight, and in general has never really been around overweight people. This is where Chris and I differ. He can’t sympathize with where I’ve been, or where I am currently. And I don’t expect him to. It’s just different.
Anyways after a short 35 minute jog/walk on the treadmill Saturday morning, Chris and I drove to Boulder to go on a hike. I’m happy to know that even though I can’t get Chris in the gym, I can get him outdoors and on a hike (plus a couple of walks around the neighborhood we’ve been on recently). I’ve always wanted to check out Chautauqua Park. So that’s where we went. This is a very popular place! Lots of people hiking around, including toddlers and seniors (easily 60+). Seeing such a broad range of hikers, helped in my confidence and got me thinking “if they can do it, I certainly can too”). The park itself offers lots of trails which cover every level of difficulty. We initially started off on the basic Chautauqua trail which has a pretty big jump in incline and definitely got me breathing heavy. Once we got to the second break-off point we decided to make our decent. The trail we didn’t take is the Royal Arch Trail. I’ve heard of this trail on numerous times, and this a summertime goal for Chris and I. I’ve heard it’s definitely more strenuous to get to, but that the view is well worth the trek. I’m anxious to give this hike a go later in the summer. Round trip our hike was only an hour, but it was fun with Chris, and brought back some uncomfortable childhood memories.
Once on a field trip in elementary school we went on a hike. The whole time I was so nervous. And so slow. Scared to fall, scared of being noticed. On this specific field trip my mom was with me (which was a rare occasion) and we were at the end of the hike, going down the mountain. Everyone was ahead of me, and I was (of course) last. As I was trying to catch up with everybody, I fell. Hard. Got the wind knocked out of me. I lost my breath completely, was facing up at the blue sky, and scared out of my mind. My mom came to my rescue, and an old truck came and picked us up. Take my fear of physical activity and add getting the wind knocked out of me, and I pretty much fear going down a mountain, even to this day.
So while on our way down on this hike Saturday morning, Chris is giving me a hard time about going so slow. When I tell him the above story. Which gets me thinking about this fear that I have. And that it hasn’t gone away and that it probably never will. That even though I’m active now (although not as active as I was prior to meeting Chris) that I’m still pretty active. But how with every race that I’ve done I’m always so nervous. I’m scared I’m going to be last, that I’m going to fall, I’ll hurt myself.
I think that this fear will always be with me. In general I do feel comfortable in the gym. I don’t mind being up front in the group fitness classes that I take. I’m most comfortable on the elliptical just because that machine as always been my go-to piece of equipment regardless of what shape I’m in. And the machine that I was comfortable on when I was 250+ pounds. I’m still not super comfortable on the treadmill, or with most of the weights.
I think for the most part my fear comes with the outdoors. I hate the elements. Too hot, too windy, too cold. The bugs, the dirt, other people around me and observing me.
Is this weird? I suppose so. But growing up the fat kid, this is the complex I know have as a adult, trying to get rid of this person.I remember 4 years ago (July 2008) I was home attending my 10 year high school reunion. One night I went to dinner with a group of girls, then we all hung out at somebody’s house. I was the fattest person there (an observation I still make to this day), which to be honest was easily done, because this was the time I was around the heaviest I had ever been. And during one of the conversations one of the girls makes a comment by saying “I wasn’t fat in high school. I don’t know why I was so focused on being skinny, because I was skinny.” It was a statement something to that effect, I’m sure you get my point. And immediately all of the other girls agreed. And in my head I was thinking “I have NO idea what these girls are talking.” I was fat in high school and I’m fatter now. The other strong thought in my head was “I’m never going to know what that feels like.”
I guess my point in all of this, is how me being the fat kid is still with me. And is something that not a lot of people can relate to. A lot of people are working to be their “high school skinny” when even though I’m currently still 12 pounds away from my lowest weight, I’m still smaller now that what I was in high school.
rachel, alisha, michelle, angela, melissa, and i
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Chris and I went a group of my gym friends last night, all of us ladies have read the book and were excited for the movie.
First off, the books. The books are freakin' fantastic! Go read them if you haven't. So creative, adventurous, and face-paced. With that said, I started reading the trilogy about a month ago, and I'm about half way through the third book "Mockingjay". In general I'm a slow reader, and I usually only read on the bus to/from work. But these books I've been rushing through just because of the excitement of it all. So unfortunately I think I've missed a lot. And I was afraid I would forget some of the details while watching the movie, but I think for the most part I remembered a lot.
Let's start with Jennifer Lawrence. She played Katniss perfectly. And my goodness she is tiny. That scene where she's walking out with her skin-tight black outfit on to go out on the chariot. Wow...super tiny. Then Peeta...I thought they did a good job of making them seem like she's smaller than he is. Because have you seen all the press these two actors have done? She's way taller than he is, but in the movie you don't notice that. Which is good.
Speaking of Peeta, let's mention Gale. And the beginning of the love triangle that is started. I wish they would have shown more of Gale and his observance of the games. Because you know he's watching. And he is such a big part of the story even though he isn't completely visible in the first book/movie. But you know that he's still there. Does that make sense?
What happened to District Thirteen? Now we all know District Thirteen is no-longer. But did they even point that out in the movie?
And did I miss the whole kiss your 3 main fingers and hold them up in the air, thing? I have a feeling I did. Because I don't remember that in the book, and I don't remember getting any sort of storyline about that in the movie. So can one of you tell me the meaning behind that?, because I'm clueless. It obviously has something to do with some sort of solidarity. But in the movie you only see it in District 12, and in District 11 after Rue dies. Is it something only having to do with the poorer districts?
I wish they told more about the characters from the Capitol. Because I'm pretty sure I just skimmed over the background while reading the book. Like Effie Trinket. First they never even really introduced her, she was just there announcing the names and taking the tributes to the Capitol.
Speaking of characters. What happened to Madge? Wasn't she the one who gave her the pin to wear? And the good-bye's. I really wish they would have show Peeta's dad saying good-bye to Katniss.
Now moving on to the arena. One thing I really liked about the movie, was how The Hunger Games were essentially shown as a reality show. I never thought of it like this while reading the book. How there were basically producers creating this "reality" for the tributes. The huge room of all the people managing the elements of the arena. Very interesting.
I wish they would have shown Katniss going deaf in one ear. I can't remember how she goes deaf but I remember it in the book. I also wish they would have shown her thirst, and her wishing Haymitch would send her some. Then her realization that water was near by. In the book you get the feeling that Katniss and Haymitch have there own language, and that was never really portrayed in the movie.
The eyes. I really wish that they would have put the dead tributes eyes in the muttations eyes at the end. I think that was a pivotal part of the book, that the movie left out, and could have easily been done.
The hovercraft. Why didn't we ever see the hovercraft come and pick up the bodies? I guess that was an easy thing to leave out, and not something I necessarily missed, but just something I noticed.
And what about the cannon going off when Rue died, and the tribute keeping guard of the all of the food, and the tribute that killed Rue? I'm almost positive that when those 3 died, no cannon went off. I also wish that they would have showed the night-time list of lost tributes more than once. ...I think they only showed the first night, then one night with no tributes lost.
The berries. In the book she actually puts the berries in her mouth, then spits them out. I definitely thing the movie should have shown that.
President Snow is the perfect villain. I think the movie portrayed him perfectly. And the fact that each time the showed him he was around roses was the perfect set up for the future movies and the symbol he becomes with his use of roses.
I loved how at the end of the book you see Katniss' realization of what life is going to be like after the games. It's crazy how this story takes you once such an emotional roller coaster that you don't think about one situation relating to the next, because you are truly just trying to stay alive. How at the beginning you just don't want your name to be drawn. Then the good-byes. They thinking that you are most likely going to die. To surviving, being crowned victor. To the aftermath of realizing that you are alive, now a victor, and going back to your district as hero, and all of the expectations now that you are back. They all go together, but in the book/movie you just cross each thing one at a time. Not really thinking about the "big picture" because you are so focused on getting out of the tunnel.
Well, I think that's all I can write. Overall the movie was good, and I can definitely understand the parts that they left out, because you can't include everything.
Even if you haven't read the books, the movie is still a good one, and I would highly suggest you go see it!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Old habits are hard to break. Creating a new habit, this is even harder. Getting into the grove of Weight Watchers hasn’t been easy. But then again I haven’t made it priority. Even worse, is that I haven’t told Chris that I joined. I did speak to him about joining some plan, doing something. And he encouraged me and told me that he would be supportive. Well, how can he help when he doesn’t know that I’m on a plan and that I need his help to hold me accountable? Not that I expect him to babysit me with every bite of food I put in my mouth, but I am around him during most of my meals, and well the afternoon/evenings are the most difficult. Part of my point is, had he known that I joined WW 2 weeks ago, he wouldn’t have suggested going to get ice cream last night, and I most definitely would have said no. That’s what I like to think anyways. That even though I’ve felt ready to begin the last part of my weight loss journey, I wasn’t ready to accept Chris’ help in it. I suppose part of it is in my head. Ok, maybe all of it. That I’ve done all of this by myself. Without having to really depend on anyone. That’s what makes this round so different.
So this my attempt to get back on track. I’ve always wanted to take pictures of what I eat and show you guys. So this is what I’m doing. Here is what I ate today, and the points associated with that. I figure if anything this will help hold me accountable and give you yet another peak into my world.
Now for the points. I have yet to actually use Weight Watchers to track a whole week. Now they make it easy enough to find and track the food that you eat, they even have an app that I downloaded on my phone. So truly I have no excuses to not take advantage of this. Anyways, right now my I have 30 points to get me through the day. I also have a PointsPlus budget of 49 that lasts me all week. I think I need to figure out what this is, because to be honest as of right now I have no idea what that gets me or how to use it.For breakfast I had Quaker Instant Oatmeal, Raisin, Date, and Walnut. 4 points.
1 cup carrots. 0 points
2 cups strawberries. 0 points
½ a kiwi. 0 points.
Right off the bat, the great thing about Weight Watchers, fruit and veggies don’t add to your daily point value. I know that I need to be careful of the fruits, as some fruits contain a lot of sugar. But I like the idea that if you are hungry, you don’t have to sit and starve yourself. You can eat something colorful and nutritious!
My morning meal is also when I take my pills. My daily vitamin and fish oil.
My mid-morning “snack” is a cup of coffee. Fancy coffee. It’s regular coffee stirred in with Maxwell House International Latte in Vanilla Caramel and non-fat Hazelnut creamer. And oh my goodness it is good. I look forward to this snack every morning. I’m really not a big coffee drinker, but this helps me feel like I’m having a little treat. I just used the last of the creamer this morning, so for the rest of the week I’ll just be using the Vanilla Caramel Latte stuff with hot water. Once that is gone I plan to transition to hot tea, as that has no points.
Coffee with cream and sugar. 4 points.
I learned early on you don’t want to drink your calories…or in this instance points. Which for me isn’t really an issue. I can easily go from coffee to tea, but the other issue I know I’m gonna have is with alcohol. Now by no means do I drink a lot. And neither does Chris. But do we enjoy a glass of wine or some other alcoholic beverage on occasion? Yes. I would say on average we’ll have a drink about once or twice a week. For the next few months eliminating alcohol will be hard. It’s a social thing. But I know it has to be done.
Next is lunch. I like to eat between 1 and 1:30pm…for me the later the better, because the afternoons are hard for me. Once I eat lunch I feel like I could just keep on eating. And that’s when my bad snacking usually happens. Monday lunches are usually the same for me. Salad from the grocery store. We do our grocery shopping on Sunday’s. So I grab a nice salad to have for lunch on Monday. Today’s pick is a “Dried Stone Fruit Salad with chicken”. A mix of green leaf lettuce and baby greens, grilled chicken, dried fruit, red onion, red grapes, walnuts, feta cheese, with a pomegranate blueberry vinaigrette. Mixed in are also some carrots, and a couple of cut up strawberries that were on my plate this morning.
Salad. 6 points (what really got me on this salad were the walnuts and feta cheese).By the time I finish my salad I am starving. This is usually what happens when I eat lunch. And I hate it. I’m more hungry after lunch than before I even started. I seriously feel I could eat forever and not get full. I don’t know why this is, but that’s just how I feel. After my meal I want dessert. I usually bring some snack or protein bar, but today I forgot! Ugh. To help me through I chew on a piece of gum. Gum is the perfect “trick” to get your mind thinking it is eating something, plus no points!
Thankfully my afternoon passed with meetings, so I was distracted with that, instead of just sitting at my desk thinking about my hunger. I didn't take a picture of it, but shortly before I left work I ate an apple.
Afternoon snack: apple. 0 points.
Once I got home I had my delayed dessert.
A chewy granola bar: 3 points.
For dinner I made a spicy sausage pasta, in a cream sauce with mushrooms, with a side of green beans.
This used the rest of my points for the day.
Dinner: 13 points.
Another speaking point I want to make is water. I’ve never had difficulty drinking enough water. I can’t remember when I started this habit, but truly the majority of what I drink is water. I have my handy dandy Camelbak water bottle right at my desk (I keep one at home too, for my workouts) and fill that about 3 times a day. It holds a little more than 24 ounces. So before I even leave work I’ve had around 72 ounces of water. (Yes, I go to the bathroom a LOT!)
So that is today in a very long nutshell! Obviously lots of information. That's going to be used primarily for me. I've had the idea of taking pictures of what I eat for awhile now, and I gotta say it makes you think. Well it makes me think. About what I'm putting in my mouth AND how much. I didn't want to up-load 20 pictures of a ton of food. I'm proud that for the most my meals were colorful.
I hope that this will help me throughout the rest of the week, and tracking my food. I had hoped to get in a workout today to get "activity points" but that didn't happen, and am going to go for later in the week. Plus I need to figure out how exactly the activity points work.
Things are in full force. And I hope to be successful.
Friday, March 16, 2012
This 2 week event lets you explore Denver and all of the fantastic food it as to offer for just $52.80 per couple. The restaurants come out with pre-set menu’s usually with 3 or 4 courses, giving you a few options for each course. So no, not a full menu to chose from, but some highlights to give you a feel for the restaurant and flavor.
The first place Chris and I went to was Rodizio Grill. This was set up as a double date through one of Chris’ co-workers. Needless to say this type of restaurant isn’t my top pick. I’m not much of a red meat-eater and this place is pretty much all red meat. I’m also not a fan of eating fast. I like to eat slow. Like super slow. Enjoy my meal, enjoy the flavor of the food in my mouth. This place comes with an all you can eat salad bar that includes some starches for your meat. Then with a flip of a coin type thing on your table you get bombarded with people coming up to your table giving you a serving of whatever meat is on their carving board. You get a lot of food very quickly, and it’s a lot to keep up with.
Overall, yes the food was good. But the rush of food coming onto my plate just wasn’t a big highlight for me.
Would I go back?: No, April. Yes, Chris.
Would I go back?: Yes, April. Yes, Chris.
Would I go back?: No, April. No, Julie.
Would I go back?: No, April. No, Chris.
Why 5280? If you are unfamiliar with the significance of this number, let me enlighten you. 5280 feet is exactly a mile long, and where Denver sits above sea-level. Hence “The Mile High City”. And so the smart PR folks who originally thought of having Denver Restaurant Week thought it would be clever to have the price point be $52.80 per couple for your meal.
For me, this is one of the huge perks of living in a big city. Having events like this, trying new restaurants, and getting to experience different food. I absolutely love going out to eat, and trying places I’ve never been. Thankfully Denver never has a shortage of good food, or new restaurants for me to try!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
now i know this may seem strange, but in my past relationships i didn't feel this comfort. i always felt i had to offer something, entice "the flavor of the month" with something fun to get them to hang out with me. a sporting event, food, concert, movie etc...
i remember when he picked me up from the airport last july after my trip to new mexico and we agreed that he should stay with me for the whole week. i thought "what am i going to do with him?" "how am i going to entertain him?" "how am i going to get him to stay?"
well he has yet to leave. our week long trial essentially turned permanent when his lease was up in september.
and well, it still blows my mind that he likes to hang out with me. he's perfectly content just hanging out on the couch cuddling, talking, watching a movie. he's just happy with me there.
a couple of weeks ago we were bored with the TV and decided to go see what we have in the coat closet in the world of games. we decided on domino's.
i've decided that this will be one of our favorite past time activities. you know that time when one day we'll look back and reminisce and i'll say "remember when we would listen to music on your ipad and play domino's?" i imagine this conversation in a few years when we have a kid and remember our time when our family was just the two of us.
i'm working on appreciating Chris. enjoying and embracing the love that he gives me everyday. i feel so lucky to have his love. for his ability to make things simple. to clam me down when i am freaking out.
to remember the fun we have playing domino's.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
willam h macy is
i'm super proud of myself for
buying girl scout cookies this year.
that's the last thing i need.
but i have had
6 thin mints.
work people had 'em
and forced them down my mouth.
ok, so not really.
but 6...c'mon that's not too bad.
when i wash my hands,
the soap always
has to go in the right hand.
in 220 days
i'll be in
with my husband
i've had a highly emotional week.
and i'm predicting
tears later today.
are you ready to
i most definitely AM!
cake tasting this weekend.
wedding cake has no calories,
if i knew how to get rid
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
So the new plan is to follow Weight Watchers and re-create my gym routine. Right now my goal is to hit the gym 3 times a week. I feel like this is a good starter to build myself back up and a good way to balance my new life. Then try and slowly get back up to my ideal of working out 5 times a week. As of right now I've worked out yesterday and today. And plan for my 3rd workout on Saturday.
Monday, March 5, 2012
As I try and collapse the past 3 years in few sentences I feel overall very accomplished. Out of all of those questions asked, I've been successful at all but one. Not too bad.
Right now I'm channeling that person from 3 years ago. Wanting to create a change and needing to establish a pattern.
Although I'm not quite the person I was 3 years ago. I'm trying to find the same inspiration and motivation from that time...specifically 2010.
I've put a lot of thought into how exactly I'm going to re-start this weight loss journey. I even considered going back to Slimgenics. I obviously know the program, and more importantly I know that it works. I couldn't sleep last Sunday night just thinking about it. So last Monday I went back to the office, and was immediately turned off by the staff. They have all new employee's, none of which I got a good vibe off of. My main point of this appointment was two things. 1. to see how much it would be, and 2. to get back on the scale and see how much I weight.
Since I hit my low of 174 (from my sickness) in January 2011, I'm up. Which I knew. My clothes fit me tighter and my face looks fuller. I just didn't know by how much. I currently weight 191. UGH! Is my first reaction to that number. Could be worse? Absolutely. But I wish I was still at 175. My goal for the wedding is 150-155. So a 35 - 40 pound loss. I can do it.
I did cardio both Saturday and today. And can I just tell you how good I feel? How great it is going to the gym and seeing people that I know? I love it! And how great it is that now I can come from a good workout and see my loving husband to be. He's extremely supportive of me and is encouraging me. Honestly, I wish he would join the gym and join me in my workouts. But I unfortunately don't see that happening. However, I do appreciate his positive outlook and him being there for me.
I'm starting over in this life that I now have. Which is a different life. And I feel that I can incorporate what I've learned over the past couple of years into my new life. I know it'll be hard and that I'll have my struggles, because I know those two aspects surely haven't changed from my past experiences! But I know it'll be worth it, and that I can be the beautiful bride and wife that I know I can be.