Monday, March 5, 2012

Starting all Over

So remember back in January 2009 when I decided to do this little thing called "I'm gonna blog for every time I workout"? Remember how in 2009 I created a good habit, I lost 40 pounds? Remember how in 2010 I was disgruntled with my poor weight loss results, and decided to step it up even more and joined Slimgenics, I lost 50 pounds? Remember how in 2011 I kept saying over and over I had 25 - 30 more pounds I still wanted to lose? Remember how through all of this I was creating a happy life for myself, but was still yearning for that love? Remember how just last week I mentioned I had a new action plan?
As I try and collapse the past 3 years in few sentences I feel overall very accomplished. Out of all of those questions asked, I've been successful at all but one. Not too bad.
Right now I'm channeling that person from 3 years ago. Wanting to create a change and needing to establish a pattern.
Although I'm not quite the person I was 3 years ago. I'm trying to find the same inspiration and motivation from that time...specifically 2010.
I've put a lot of thought into how exactly I'm going to re-start this weight loss journey. I even considered going back to Slimgenics. I obviously know the program, and more importantly I know that it works. I couldn't sleep last Sunday night just thinking about it. So last Monday I went back to the office, and was immediately turned off by the staff. They have all new employee's, none of which I got a good vibe off of. My main point of this appointment was two things. 1. to see how much it would be, and 2. to get back on the scale and see how much I weight.
Since I hit my low of 174 (from my sickness) in January 2011, I'm up. Which I knew. My clothes fit me tighter and my face looks fuller. I just didn't know by how much. I currently weight 191. UGH! Is my first reaction to that number. Could be worse? Absolutely. But I wish I was still at 175. My goal for the wedding is 150-155. So a 35 - 40 pound loss. I can do it.
I did cardio both Saturday and today. And can I just tell you how good I feel? How great it is going to the gym and seeing people that I know? I love it! And how great it is that now I can come from a good workout and see my loving husband to be. He's extremely supportive of me and is encouraging me. Honestly, I wish he would join the gym and join me in my workouts. But I unfortunately don't see that happening. However, I do appreciate his positive outlook and him being there for me.
I'm starting over in this life that I now have. Which is a different life. And I feel that I can incorporate what I've learned over the past couple of years into my new life. I know it'll be hard and that I'll have my struggles, because I know those two aspects surely haven't changed from my past experiences! But I know it'll be worth it, and that I can be the beautiful bride and wife that I know I can be.


sarahlove said...

I usually have to think about what I say before writing a comment on your blog but there is something I have to write, right NOW. You are going to a a beautiful bride and wife NO MATTER WHAT YOU WEIGH. A number on the scale doesn't determine the beauty in your heart. And the beauty in your heart can be seen from the outside. Not to be repetitive but you are already beautiful.

That is all, for now.

Nikki said...

That's right, Sarah! I couldn't say it better if I tried!

Emily Foley said...

Well said Sarah, but I also know how you feel. When you see a number on the scale that you're not happy with, you know how to change that. I'm not very good at that. I think it's great you're back at the gym, even if Chris doesn't want to go. Right after I got married I joined Gold's Gym with Dave and I went like 3 times and never again. Such a waste of money. Dave loves to work out, I hate it. It's his time to do what he wants, and we both have our things we do without each other. It's good for us.