my back

A post isn't a post without a picture of Helena.  7/4/15 day after I hurt my back.  I look happy but I'm in pain.

Thankfully my injured back from 2 and half weeks ago seems like a thing of the past, but for documentation sake I want to remember the details.

It was Friday July 3^rd, I had the day off as the holiday for July 4^th.  I was super excited to go to Dance Jam in the morning!  The gym was overly crowded from the holiday (that’s what I think anyways) so I had to park even farther away (further than normal) from the entrance to the gym.  I had Helena with me and I didn’t want to carry her all the way to the daycare so I carried her into the gym in my Beco carrier (this was the first time I’ve done this).  

It was the last 10-15 minutes of class and we were doing my current favorite song: “Centuries” by Fall Out Boy.  This is one of the songs that I know all of the choreography to, so I always look forward to it and just jam out in my own little world since I don’t need to look at Sarah (the instructor) for the routine.  And since I know all of the moves to this song I jam out hard!  There is part of the song where you do a squat forward while head banging your head, and that’s when I felt it.  I immediately felt the pain and discomfort in my lower left back.  This was about half way through the song, and I somehow completed the song.  I tried to do the next song (another favorite: “Your lips are moving, your lips are moving…”) but I couldn’t.  I could barely bend down to pick up my water bottle, and when I tried to get my towel off of the floor I got tears in my eyes.  I walked out of class.  I was scared.  Who knows if it looked “off” but I felt like I was walking funny, and I had to take the stairs one by one to get down to the locker room and to get Helena.  It was a weird place to all of a sudden be injured and moving so slowly while all of these people are moving swiftly going along their day. 

Anyways I got to my locker and put on my carrier while thinking I was so thankful I brought it, as I know that had I not had my carrier with me I would not have been able to carry Helena all the way back to my car.  I go get Helena from the daycare and ask one of caregivers to hand her to me as I couldn’t bend down to get her, all while I’m fighting tears.  I very slowly walk to my car and basically throw Helena into her car seat, at which she started crying.  I felt so bad, so then I started crying.  I got her all buckled in and called Chris to advise him of my injury.  Upon my arrival home Helena was asleep so Chris came to get her and put her down, then Chris came back to the car to help me into the house.  He got some ice and I plopped onto the couch.  It hurt so bad.  Later that afternoon my in-laws arrived.  The pain was agonizing.  Chris had to help me do everything, and so it was also incredibly embarrassing.  The only things I really remember about being home that day is keeping my back iced and Chris having to help me go to the bathroom.  I think at some point I contacted a friend who is also a instructor at the gym and also a physical therapist, seeking her opinion on my back. 

The next day was the 4^th of July.  After a painful night’s sleep (I did get some sleep) I woke up with the brilliant idea to take a cold shower and that the cold water pounding on my back would be good.  I had previously heard Chris get up and assumed he would be in the house if I needed to yell at him for help.  I screamed myself into the shower and once I got in and realized I couldn’t lift my hands to do my hair I knew I had made a mistake.  I seriously couldn’t take my hands off of my hips.  So I stumbled out of the shower, somehow got a towel around me and fell to the floor while I screamed and screamed for Chris.  When I succumbed to the fact that the house was empty I did the next logical thing: cry.  Chris finally came into the bedroom to see what I assumed look like a big dead whale on the floor.  I can’t remember how exactly I got up off of the floor but we eventually solved the puzzle and got me to my feet.  I knew I wanted to get out of the house for the holiday so that afternoon we made our way to the 4^th of July festivities.  This was the day I found that getting up and moving was much better than sitting.  

The next day was when we went to the pool.  This is where I took advantage of being “weightless” and tried to stretch out my back as much as possible.  On Monday 7/6 I booked a morning appointment with Lori and she advised me I strained my back in three different spots.  She showed me some stretches to help increase my mobility and advised me that I will get better.  Going into work was horrible.  I felt like I was walking like a stick was up my a$$ and to the side.  One co-worker looked at me and said “You look crooked.”  On Thursday I even went and got a 90 minute massage hoping that would help, but it didn't really.  By Friday 7/10 morning I was over it.  Who knows if something did get worse or it was just living with this chronic pain, but Friday morning I couldn’t get comfortable.  Every position I would try and sit in was uncomfortable so I kept adjusting and out of frustration and pain I just kept crying.  I thankfully had Friday off since my parents were in town.  I called my doctor’s office and got an appointment for that afternoon.  The doctor again advised me I would feel normal again and he advised giving me a shot.  I do not like needles.  The last time I got my blood drawn I passed out.  So I opted for the shot to me administer in the butt….and wow am I glad I did.  It took some convincing from the doctor to get this shot, and I’m glad I finally said “I guess.”  This shot seriously took away all of my pain!  I was able to get down on the floor and fully do all of the stretched that Lori told me about and I was able to feel “normal” again!  

Since then things have all been up hill.  I’ve had some discomfort but the past two days I’ve been essentially pain free!  I haven’t worked out yet but I’m super anxious to get back into the gym!

I gotta give a special shout out to my hot husband who was there for all my “fits” and emotional outbursts!  And for truly seeing me at my worse, and for massaging my back for a week straight!  Thank you for taking care of me, I love you.

This injury brought me a glimpse of what it could be like to live with chronic pain, I honestly don’t know how people do it.  It even hurt to sneeze or cough (the closest thing I can describe it to is the pain you experience when you have a c-section and it hurts to laugh/sneeze/cough, this was the same type of pain but in your back).  This injury as given me new motivation to get all of this extra weight off.  To be healthy and to not take my moving pain-free body for granted.