Tuesday, October 19, 2010

this is for me

when i first signed up for this whole weight loss thing i didn't really look at the big picture. i really just focused on the end result. wanting to be skinny. not wanting to be fat. i knew that it would be hard. but i also knew that it wasn't rocket science. although looking back i did make it a lot harder than what it actually is....i think that's part of the denial part. because you think if it is easy, you would do it, right? so you question whether or not you can do it. for a really long time i just thought to myself "i can't do this" so why bother trying?

it's pretty basic stuff. move more, eat less. burn more calories, eat lean proteins, veggies, and fruits. drink water. if only it were that easy.

one thing that you don't really think about is all the time spent in the middle. the changes that you'll make mid-journey. i guess maybe that is because each day is a new day. each day is a new decision. everyday is the start. everyday is monday. everyday is january 1st. and then without even realizing it every new day is months and months of hard work all put together. you find yourself accepting people's compliments. compliments from loved ones and complete strangers. you find yourself shopping for smaller clothes. you find yourself getting more attention from the opposite sex.

you find people calling you an inspiration.

i didn't sign up for this. what i signed up for was to get thin. to lose fat. just about every single part of this journey is unexpected.

i didn't expect any of this.

and i have no idea how to handle it. all if it is weird. i use that word a lot to describe my journey.

weird.

i've even gotten attention on other peopel's blogs! check it out here and here. weird.

now granted we all love to be recognized. who doesn't? but isn't it weird? on top of that, the attention is unsolicited. which of course makes it that much more flattering.
i suppose this is just the icing on the cake. ...probably a bad choice of words ;) but you know what i mean.

the fact that i am on this journey and that people look up to me. that people find me inspiring... but let the truth be known, that i'm only doing this for myself. all of this hard work is for me, not you. and if my hard work makes you work hard, then that's all YOU, not me.

when i first starting this whole "blog for every workout" thing back in january 2009, i did that for myself. to keep me accountable. and you know what, it has worked for me...which is why i have continued to do it. and i'll probably follow suit into 2011. blogging is hard work, but i love it. it is my release. i do it for me.
all of this work is for me.
barbell strength 60min

5 comments:

the emily said...

Another awesome post. How do you do it? I love this.

Nikki said...

beautiful. As always, I am so proud of you. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the photos that Sarah took of you, they look surreal. I love it!

Nikki said...

I just re-read through Sarah's Post, I should have inserted that Nick took of you! Who ever took them, they are awesome!

Anonymous said...

This is me pressing the "LIKE!!" button on this one. Well said, April. You are healthy in mind and spirit as well as body, which is just as important! xoxo -Kari

Chris said...

I have tears in my eyes. You are awesome! I see you in classes always giving 100%!