Monday, February 28, 2011

be a catch

last night while watching the oscar's i decided that i'm no good alone. that i want to be in a relationship. a good side of me comes out when i'm in a relationship a side that i like, a side that hasn't been seen in the past 5 years. too bad that in the category of love what you want isn't always what you get. good thing, that even though i don't want to be alone, that when i am alone, hanging out with just myself isn't really all that bad, because i happen to think that my company is pretty amazing! :)
with that said i'm getting rid of the fillers. both M and R seem to have disappeared. not too sure why i have this pattern with dating. the guy seems totally interested the first few weeks. all is going great. then before i know it more and more time passes between dates, before all contact comes to an end. and right now i'm ok that this has happened. dating and trying to lose weight doesn't really work for me. i need to be selfish and focus 100% on myself.
i read this article when i canceled my account on a dating website back on my birthday. i've kept it for the purpose to share with you. it has some good words of advice for us single folks. i will continue to have hope.
elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

How To Show Him You’re A Great Catch

By Rori Raye
Author of best-selling eBook Have The Relationship You Want.

So you’ve finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you’re a real find, right?

Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn’t involve any effort at all. In fact, it’s all about simply being, not doing.


When we meet a great guy, we women often try to do, do, do whatever we can to make him see what a great catch we are. We’ll go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what we want.

You can’t convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine energy rather than your masculine. Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man’s company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine, doer role.

To do that, you must first be open to receive.


Inspiring a man to see you as the one woman he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love.

Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.

When you are open to receiving from a man, you are sending a message that you value yourself – you believe you are worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving and instead create the space for him to give to you.


Men are competitive creatures who value what they have to work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you’re completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he’ll question your value.

This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so that you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren’t prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven’t met him yet!

When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message loud and clear that you’re a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your “degree of difficulty” so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself...or risk another guy beating him to it.


The most important thing to remember when you are dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first.

If you love taking a dance class every Thursday night, don’t give it up just because he’s in the picture and you don’t want him to think you’re not interested. Letting him know you have a life before him actually makes him more attracted to you – not just because you’re not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people!

So, tell him, “It would feel so great to see Thursday, but I have my dance class that night, and I love it. I’m free Tuesday or Friday.” Then ask him what he thinks. It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you’ve just proven you’re a great catch he has to woo and win.


Jimmy said...

So I'm not buying into it. Articles like that take out the complexity of humans and relationships.

I know it's trite, but I say be who you are. Don't behave some way just because some advice columnists says it'll help you find a man.

I've been reading about you for awhile and I think being who you are will work just fine.

Anonymous said...

Amen! because You are Awesome just the way you are.

Love MOM

Double Your Dating said...

There are many things which the man considers during its dating. You're completely right; there is no right way to tell someone you're not into them.