week 22: i'm in control

so i'm taking a break. a break from slimgenics. but not a break from losing weight. lately i've gone into slimgenics and left feeling negative and urges to eat all things bad. and in reality i should be leaving feeling the exact opposite and motivated. so i've been super frustrated to say the least.

slimgenics is known for giving each one of its clients a "customized meal plan" when in really slimgenices only offers 3 different types of meal plans. when i originally signed up i was told to be on plan 2. so i did plan 2. slimgenics is a plan based strictly on food and diet. they of course promote some moderate exercise and they do encourage it but it isn't mandatory. when i signed up for this plan i told the manager that i work out 5 days a week, explained to her the details of my workouts and their intensity. she was encouraged by it, and advised me to keep up with my workouts. early on in the program one of the nutritionists asked me how many hour a week i workout. i had never really logged the time on a week by week basis, so i told her probably between 5 - 7 hours a week. she advised me to log it and that we would look at it in a week or two. ...their is a spot on my daily food diary to put in exercise, plus i'm usually in my workout clothes when i go into slimgenics. the other question i would normally get from the staff at slimgenics if i ever felt "hungry" or if i felt like i was getting enough food. i advised them that the beginning was the hardest but that i've learned to manage out my food throughout the day so that i don't feel like i was starving. ...of course this was also the time that i started cheating more frequently and not writing down my cheats!
then last week i asked about the different plans. i read through all of my slimgenics info and read about plan 3. so i asked what determines whether or not a person goes on plan 3? i was told that anyone who works out more than 5 hours a week. so then the conversation was about possibly moving me to plan 3, and the food detailed in this plan. i thought maybe it was a good idea. when i got home i thought more about it, and got mad. i got pissed actually. especially because i know i've been getting more hungry lately since i've been doing weights.
then i went in on friday and was upset at my lack of weightloss results. we talked more about plan 3, and i started cry, because i felt as if i should have been put on this plan from the very beginning. i feel that i had started with this plan and gave my body the food that it needed, i wouldn't have cheated as much as i have, and would have been further along in this weight loss journey. granted we can plan the what if game for forever, but that's just what i feel. i think had i been more honest with my food journals, and maybe put the clues together about why i was being asked about how much time i spend working out and if the food that i'm eating is filling me up, i could have been switched to plan 3 earlier. on friday i stormed out of slimgenics upset and crying and not wanting to yell, so i left.
i spoke to my mother about it, and she said the most perfect thing. she said "april, you've given them too much power. you need to take your power back." so that is exactly what i'm doing. this my journey, my life. my mom also stated that their are hundreds of ways to lose weight. and that this isn't the only way. i've been doing this plan for 22 weeks now, which is more than 5 months. my weight loss journey isn't what the average slimgenics client goes in for, which is 30-40 pounds. it is 120 pounds. so mixing things up i think is necessary. i did the first 40 pounds completely on my own, i've done 45 on the slimgenics plan, and the last 35 will come off somehow. i'm not too sure how because i haven't gotten rid of it yet, but i know that i will lose it. when i explained all of this on saturday i was supported. i think that the people at slimgenics understand that for those of us who have a longer journey to fulfill these breaks are good for our success. ...this is what i'm telling myself anyways.
since saturday i already feel better and lighter. i feel more in control. i don't feel so much pressure on my shoulders, and i feel more lively. i feel that once i'm back from vacation next week, i'll be that much more motivated to go back into slimgenics and finish this journey. now like i said just because i'm not checking in with slimgenics 3 days a week, doesn't mean i'm allowed to eat whatever i want. i'm not taking this "break" to sabotage myself. i'm taking this break to show myself that i can do this. so i'll still give my blog it's weekly update as normal, really the only thing changing is me going into slimgenics 3 days a week. that's it.
with all of that being said. i lost 3 pounds this week. which is 2 new pounds lost. given the sweets i had this week along with the stress i feel i put on myself, 2 pounds is pretty good.
here's to me regaining my power!

the mixx 60min
-3lbs