Saturday, August 14, 2010

week 20: saying it out LOUD

my head is full of topics all about weight loss. all about my journey, my successes, my failures. eating healthy, working out, getting to my goal = those 3 things occupy majority of my thoughts. i have my blog to help express everything. my frustrations, my celebrations, and everything in between. for the most part these are thoughts in my head, and then they become words in my blog. very rarely do i express what's going on verbally. yes i do have friends i talk with about what's going on, but then yesterday i read this post out loud to my friend tina that was visiting. as i was reading it, i started crying. then i read her the comments my readers wrote, and i cried some more. throughout this whole experience i had yet to let myself cry. ...i had felt a good cry coming, but that was so unexpected. while reading that post i remember feeling what i felt like at those low low points, and then allowing myself to cry tears of happiness for what i have accomplished since those moments.
because i am proud.
that's right, i said it. i am proud. :)
this journey hasn't been an easy one, and i'm slowly allowing myself to celebrate what it is that i have done. actually reading those words out loud, was such a different experience compared to thinking them in my head and actually typing them out. like saying those words out loud was like a whole other texture to the platform. does that make sense? i suppose that's another thing about this experience. it's definitely full of surprises. just when you think it is just eating healthy and working out, it is so much more than that. i'm learning to feel every part of this experience. to talk about it, to do it, experience it, remember it, read about it, everything.

the scale was nice to me this week. i'm down another 2 pounds! i'm loving august right now!

today i was in downtown denver walking around with my friend tina and we went into one of the little fashion boutiques in larimer square. you know one of those cute stores, with only a few pieces of any one item, over priced, and only carries up to size Large if your lucky? well i've been inside these stories many times with friends browsing and i've always found cute pieces but nothing that would even come remotely close to fitting me. well while searching through the items in this store i found a beautiful dress on the sale rack. i pulled off the size large held it up to me and immediately thought "no way, this won't fit." but i decided to give a go. i slipped it on, checked myself out in the mirror and almost immediately started crying.

it fit.
and you know what? it looks beautiful.
and you know what? i bought it.
i bought a cute summer halter dress from a cute little speciality boutique store in downtown denver called Violet. i wanted to scream! never in my life had this happened to me. never. it feels goooooood!
3mile run/walk 40min


sarahlove said...

Now you have me crying!!! Tears of joy for your experience in the dressing room.

Nikki said...

how fun, April! I am happy for you! I'd love to see you in your new dress!

the emily said...

wooo! can't wait to see the new dress. That's where my motivation comes from right there, and I'm not even kidding. Clothes do it for me. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

And I can hardly wait to see you and hug you :)

Love MOM

Anonymous said...

Hey you! I can only imagine how that must have felt for you! WOW! You are there...can you believe it!?! I would give you a call right now...but I cant. We just got back in town from Chicago a couple hours ago. My car was broken into and my Iphone stolen out of there. So, when you get a chance, shoot me an email with your numbers, so I can input them in my new phone. It will have the same #'s. We have tons to talk about! Love you!! -Kari