Sunday, February 7, 2010

big fat zero

so excuse me while i vent. i feel like i'm working so hard and getting no results, and i'm so sick of it. i weighted myself today. i was expecting a loss, because i've worked hard, and well because i'm trying to loss weight. hello, this is what i'm trying to do. this is what i've been trying to do for the past year and a half!!! really hard. last week i worked out 6 times, and i'm planning on doing 6 workouts again this week. i'm not going to the gym 6 days a week to see the numbers that i'm seeing. i'm not eating like crazy. i've eaten like crazy before, and i'm not eating like crazy. i've been at this weight since november. november! since november i gained 2 pounds, and lost 2 pounds. and i can't seem to get out of this slump. i can't seem to get out of this horrible number. i want more than anything to be out of this number.
i talked to a friend at work about my struggle, and she thinks the weight isn't coming off because i'm not eating enough. i don't get that. that my body is in starvation mode. does that mean my body has been in starvation mode for the past year? now i know that doesn't mean i should go out and eat like crazy. i get that a lot of it is what you eat. i get it, i do. but why, why is all of my hard work not reflecting on the scale? it's depressing. and it got me down today. really down. it is so frustrating. to work so hard for z-e-r-o. to work for nothing. granted in two weeks when i weight in again i could have a completely different tone, and hopefully this work will eventually catch up and the number will actually show on the scale. but until then, i'm just mad.upset.frustrated. i don't get it. i just don't.
i suppose the good news, is that i won't quit. i'm pretty much addicted to the gym at this point in time. but i just wish i could see my work paying off.
STRIKE! 60min
0lbs

6 comments:

the emily said...

so i know this is not what you want to hear, but you are not doing this for nothing. think of how strong your heart and lungs are; think of how much healthier your body is overall, regardless of the number on the scale. by exercising regularly like this you probably have lowered your cholesterol and blood pressure, even if it wasn't high before. what's your resting heart rate? mine is 90 bpm. i'm not kidding. my husband's, who works out regularly, is 45. think of how much stronger his heart is than mine. i know you want results that are tangible and visible, and i'm sure those will come over time, but think of the intangible when you get down. you are so strong.

Wonderer said...

I'm sorry, that's frustrating. In line with what Emily said, you are one of the healthiest, most active people I know.

Nikki said...

yes, keep it up. It is paying off, even if you can't see the difference on a scale. It's not for nothing!

Anonymous said...

What all of the above said! You are doing awesome! Just awesome!!!

Did you start tracking your food with that book yet? I am guilty of not following my own advice, because it is a royal pain in the ass... But, just do it for the next month...Write EVERYTHING down. Water. A packet of splenda. A piece of sugarless gum....Everything. If you are overeating, it will become very clear...where that is happening and when.

You might also jot down your emotional being for the day. That is just based on my personal experience as an emotional eater, because a trip to the pantry for a handful of chips (when you are irritated or upset) is enough to derail your progress.

Not to say this is what is going on, but you would be surprised at what you put into your mouth subconsciously. If you are not, then that will be the type of documentation needed for a doctor or dietician to look at, so it will save time and give you a head start, if you end up needing to seek advise from a professional.

You will also be able to determine whether or not you are eating enough or not eating enough lean proteins and healthy veggies, etc.

You probably know all this already, but sometimes it helps to have someone reinforce what you already know.

Just remember, it is a LONG process. Try to keep in mind how much you HAVE lost in the last year, because that is pretty amazing...and you literally "shrink" everytime I see you. Hope this helps. See you soon! Love Kari

´´Saray´´ said...

Hi April!

Just stumbled upon your blog when I pressed the button ´Next blog´ on screen. The thing that´s really working for me is the following:- lots of kiwis added to my usual eating habits, drinking a big glass of orange juice and a cup of green tea with my breakfast (I was told in the gym the combo kickstart one´s metabolism in the mornings and yes, it seems to be the case) and powerplate sessions at the gym twice a week combined with one session of aerobics and one of spinning.

Whatever you do, think positive! you are going to achieve it :) keep up the good work gal!

Greetings from Spain.

Anonymous said...

So much good advice. Yes it is overwhelming.
April, just change one thing: eat a healthy good breakfast EVERY morning.
I agree with your blog. You are not eating enough. Not as in volumne but in order to awaken your metabolism
food is the trick. As in protein/whole grain.
Eggs, meat, fish,nuts. Plain no cheese etc. No fillers.
They say just keep it simple. First thing in the morning.

You are doing a good job and we are proud of you.
You'll see. Believe.
Love MOM so glad to see you soon