remember this?

i think one of the best things about having this blog and just documenting things in general is the ability to go back. go back and remember those feelings, that time, the emotions you felt. you get to reflect and realize that somethings are bigger than other and some are not as significant as what you had hoped.
i go back and look a lot. whether it be in the blog, pictures, my journals. going back and looking at the things i've documented as given me the ability to remember things. dates and events. it's a talent that i take pride in.
a couple of months ago i bought this dress. and then i found this post talking about this dress. when i got the dress i got a size Large. it seemed a little too big, so i ordered the Medium, but kept the Large in case the Medium didn't work, and plus i felt that surely a medium sized dress from Victoria's Secret can't fit me?!

i'm sure i've mentioned this before but from may 1999 to june 2002 i worked on the phones at Victoria's Secret catalogue. for the most part i loved this job. i got paid well, and was basically paid to shop as a "fashion consultant". VS comes out with on average one new catalogue a week. i loved looking through the catalogue's. seriously, loved. it was (and still is) a habit to immediately look through the pages and find all of the items that came in a size "XL" because that was the only size that would fit. i still have this habit, but i'm slowly learning i can wear anything and everything in the catalogue now.
when this dress first made an appearance in the catalogue i was immediately excited because it came in a XL. but i knew that then even an XL wouldn't have fit me.
well here i am this past weekend with C at a wedding wearing that dress in a size medium! nope, not an eXtra-Large or even a Large...but a Medium!!! and you know what?!, i love it. it looks super cute, and is comfortable.
majority of the time when i shop i'll grab a medium and a large. and i'm always so surprised that majority of the time it is the medium that looks better, and it is the medium that fits. never did i ever think i would be a medium, and i'm not even where i want to be. i know that it feels good, but at the same time i'm still not seeing it. to me i'll always be the person looking at the back of the rack looking for the largest size. that person will always be part of me.

barbell strength 60min