i had a blog post all written ready to go to match last night's workout, but then i got home to a big
RED internet light on my modem. i called to report the problem only to be told that their is an outage in my area. boo hiss to no internet(this left me with playing solitaire last night)! which left my mind occupied by this post and what to say. my mind stays awake way too much in regards to this blog, and most times i don't mind it, but last night it was a problem. i'm torn. i have so much to say. but not quite sure how to say it. i question whether or not i am ready, if my blog is ready?! isn't that ridiculous? i write down what i feel trying to stay vague knowing that my friends who i personally know, know exactly what it is that i'm saying and what i mean. then i think i should just write something i would normally write if what was going on in my life right now, wasn't going on, which would be a book review about the past two books i've read, because i do have some worthwhile comments in regards to that. but writing about something "normal" when something so great is happening, just doesn't seem right? am i rambling?, yes. i digress.
this is what goes on in my mind when i don't get to write a post when i want to. all of this thinking...waking up at 1:30am with all of these thoughts occupying my mind, unable to shut down and go back to sleep until 3:30 this morning.
when i need(want) to express something, i have to let it out, or else it just won't go away until i get it out. which i guess is what leads me to this rambling.
my life right now is pretty freakin' great. i have new relationship that i'm working on, that is requiring a little bit of double duty. i'm working on getting to know C and i'm working on getting to know me in this role i haven't been in for quite awhile now. i'm soaking it in. letting my workouts take (somewhat) of a backseat, because i really want to get to know this guy. i wish that i could document more but at this point in time my confidence isn't there yet. and i know that the only thing that will help that is time. so until some more time passes this is all you are gonna get (for now).
6/28/11
barbell strength 60min
3 comments:
Amen!
I've had a few blog posts written because I can't shut my mind up in the middle of the night. I usually regret posting them, so I think it's probably good for you to hold back a little!
You are allowed to feel what you feel. Posting about my dad's drug addiction was so hard. I thought I had made the biggest mistake by doing that... until I realized that someone read my blog and could relate to me because their dad is an alcoholic. She thanked me for speaking up. All it takes is one person to be in the same place for you not to feel alone. You will do it when it feels right. Throw caution to the wind. What could happen? Control the fear, don't let it control you!
Go the gym! Maybe invite C to go with you. Working out is important to you and don't let that change. Because IF things don't work out I have a suspicion that you will feel like you let yourself down. I'm not saying it's not going to work out... not at all. Just wanted to clarify. Okay. Gonna stop typing. Now.
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