the Green in me

I'm half Irish. This is news to a lot of people because I don't look Irish, and because my last name is Madrid. But my Mom's maiden name is Egan, so their ya go!

In my family St. Patrick's Day holds a very special place is all our hearts. It is the day 18 years ago that my Grandpa Egan passed away. I was extremely close to him while I was young, and I'm thankful because of that closeness with him while he was alive, that today I have an even stronger relationship with him now that I am an adult. He enters my life when I least expect it. And it is usually just as my life is taking a turn, and somehow he always lets me know how proud he is of me. It is one of those feelings that you just can't explain, but you know that it is their.

I remember all the details of that day, and the day before so clearly. And I relive them and think of them every St. Patrick's Day. My Grandpa lived in an apartment near my elementary school, and I would often walk over to see him after school. I loved seeing him more frequently. He move to Albuquerque from Santa Fe, and when he was in Santa Fe we would go and visit him once a month. The day before(3/16/91), my mom did Grandpa's taxes, and we were waiting for a day for him to have enough strength to sign them. March 16th, he was having one of his better days, but my mom held off on getting his signature in hopes the next day he would be even stronger. Before going to his apartment that afternoon my mom and I made a trip to Payless and I got these super cute black dress up shoe's. I remember sitting on the couch in the living room with my Grandpa on his hospital bed that was put in the living room so he could watch TV, and wanting to show him my new shoes, but I never did.

I believe it was my Aunt Deanna who was staying with him that night. The next morning my mom came into my room to let me know of his passing and if I wanted to go with her to the apartment. I did. Just as I was getting ready I noticed a perfectly shaped heart shadow in my room from the reflections of the sun coming into my room. I know that was my Grandpa Egan looking down on me letting me know, that he was still their and that he will always be their to look after me.

I remember walking into his apartment, a sheet over his body, and my mom and her sister's talking in the little dining room. My Grandpa was wearing a pale green button down shirt, and had marked his "Readers Digest" with a 4-leaf clover green sticker on today, as if he knew St. Patrick's Day was his day to enter Heaven.

While my mom and aunts were discussing what to do next. I went up to his bed and put my foot up on one of the railings to show him my shoes. I had a conversation in my head of what I would have said "Look Grandpa at my new shiny shoes." He would have said "Oh, how beautiful."

I was unfortunate to not have grandparents in my life for long periods. My last living grandparent was my Grandma Madrid, and she passed away in November 1996. When I meet adults who are my age, or older and they talk about their grandparents still living, I think how lucky they are. How lucky to have a grandparent as an adult, to have that relationship. To ask them questions about growing up in the early 1900's. So if you are lucky enough to have a grandparent that is still alive, cherish your relationship with them, and find out all you can to share their legacy with your children to be passed on to future generations.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!