having 2 meals and drinks with shaun ultimately caused me to gain back almost all of the weight i had lost when i first started. when i checked in at the slimgenics office a few days prior to nikki's arrival i let them know how i was struggling and my fears for when my cousin was in town. nikki herself is a very healthy individual and i knew she would support me and the plan, my big fear was the length of her visit, and knowing that i would eventually give into temptations. so they advised me to just relax with my cousin in town, enjoy her company and start mentally preparing for going back on plan when she left. so that's what i did. i didn't go too crazy with food while nikki was here, we did lots of working out, including my first major hike! but lately i've just been feeling heavy. not good. on tuesday i started getting sick. my legs were really really sore (not too sure what from) tuesday and wednesday. when i woke up wednesday i felt horrible. i'm pretty sure i had a mild fever, i had horrible body aches, it hurt to swallow, and i was exhausted. but i had to go to work since i had the last 4 workdays off. so i went in, i left a little bit early, didn't workout, and went to bed at 8:30pm. that helped a little, but even today i have a sore throat, and i don't feel 100%, which is why i've been doing my "easy" workouts. just some cardio on the elliptical. today however i decided to do some time on the treadmill, and for the first time ever i jogged for a solid 6 minutes. it felt great! i hope to do STRIKE! tomorrow, and see what that makes me feel since that's my hardest workout. i just want to get back to my regular workouts and feeling 100%.
today after my workout i went into slimgenics to help motivate me to get back on plan starting tomorrow, and not only have i lost everything i gained while shaun was here, but i'm down an additional pound!!! which definitely helps with my confidence.
i now know the details of this plan, i've done this plan, and i've seen that it can work. but i'm breaking all food habits that i know. food is my addiction. slimgenics is my rehab. and like most people with an addiction they don't stop cold turkey. they have mix-ups. this was my mix up. i'm taking it one day at a time, then once i'm comfortable with that i'll go to one week at a time. once i'm good with that i'll go to one month at time. hopefully by the time that comes, my time will be done. because this is hard. i keep telling myself this is 6 months out of my life. that is nothing. nothing. i can do this. i will do this. thankfully i've found some very motivational blogs that i hope will keep me on track. i've gotten exactly what it is that i've asked for. i asked someone to supply me with the knowledge of what to eat. to tell me exactly what to put into my mouth. i've paid a lot of money for this knowledge and their help, but it is up to me. i'm the one 100% responsible for what it is that goes into my mouth. and i'm scared. i'm scared out of my mind, and i'll write more about that later.
so i messed up, but i've made up for it, and i'm ready to start again. i'm going to just keep swimming.