Wednesday, January 12, 2011

update on the "love" life

I’ve been doing a lot of dating lately. For the most part it’s a lot of fun. As much as I hate those first date jitters it is those jitters that are so exciting. Back in October I joined a couple of dating websites, and have enjoyed putting myself out there. There are lots of differences this go ‘round in the dating world. The main difference is second dates. This time I’m having them. I’ve done a lot of online dating in my life, specifically when I was in my early 20’s and in college. During that time I had a lot of first dates. A lot. Since being 90 pounds thinner I’ve had more second dates in the past few months, than I ever did from age 18 to 30. I can only think of 2 guys that I met online while I was in college that I had more than one date with. The rest were “one date wonders”. What’s the lesson learned here? Looks matter. Obviously. I’ve always known this on some level, but having it affect me is weird. The fact that guys contact me after a first date, and want to see me again is a totally new concept to me. In my old life I would be ok with one ok first date, never hearing from the guy again, and then try try and try again. I would categorize that out of the last handful of first dates that I’ve had lately as “good” some were even “great”, and only one I would say was “bad”. A few years ago majority of my first dates were bad, with only a slim few that could be considered good.

When guys see me in person, they compliment me…this never happened before, ever.

I’m learning lots about me, and what it is that I want. I’m also still wondering what it is that’s wrong with me? Lately I’ve noticed a pattern of guys comings and goings. Things will be great for a couple of weeks, a month even…then things just sorta tapper off. Sometimes they’ll go away for good, other times they’ll make an out of the blue appearance by sending me a text message, it varies, but I can’t seem to get anything to stick. Now I will say that majority of the time it is because I don’t want it to stick, but right now I’m in a situation where I like the guy more than he likes me(I think anyways). The last few it has been the opposite; they have liked me more than I have liked them. …it seems so hard to find the situation where you like one another the same, and can actually be on the same page!

Things seem to come and go in waves. Right now I feel a lull coming on, mainly because things have been so busy and active as of late, that just seems like it would be the natural direction in which things would go. Of course I do realize that I could put more work into some of these guys, and part of things slowing down does come from me slowing things down, but at the same time that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to feel wanted. ...whoever said us woman were easy to please…we want to be left alone, but we want to feel wanted! Communication on the dating sites have slowed down considerably, and I’m thinking about removing myself yet again. Take another break.

I don’t know if it was because I got to workout both tonight and last night or what, but today I’ve found myself mentally preparing to lose these last 30 pounds that I want to get rid of once and for all(I’m currently at 179). I haven’t mentally been in the mind frame of really losing weight since September, so it is a good feeling to have, because I was afraid that I would struggle to get back there again. Dating isn’t something I want to focus on while being in the middle of losing weight. So removing myself and then starting again once the weight is gone seems like a smart move to me.

I will say that there is a current guy in the picture. But with that I will also say that I feel he is slowly losing interest. But he is currently sick, so we haven’t been able to see one another, and that could just be the case until he is better. Time will tell. I’m talking about R(who I mentioned in the previous post). He’s the one I spent New Year’s Eve with, and we’ve been dating for a little bit more than 3 weeks. Since we met we really haven’t been able to have a “normal” week of dating. We met right before I went home for Christmas, and he was super sweet and good about keeping in touch with me the week that I was in Albuquerque. Then once I got home we spent every day together, until we both got sick right after the new year. So we have yet to have a date here, a few days off there, then another date, and at this point in time that is what I’m waiting for.

It’s so weird having these guys go in and out of my life. I’ll go out with one guy and we’ll communicate for every single day for a few weeks then things just stop. It definitely keeps me on my toes! Until then I'll keep on searching.

treadmill 30min

elliptical 30min


the emily said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all--that's just dating. It's hard to find someone you're compatible with. Even with Dave, he liked me waaaayyyyy more than I liked him for the first few months. My boyfriend had just broken up with me so I was mostly using him as a rebound guy who was fun to kiss, but he was falling in love with me. I broke up with him like 3 times because I really didn't even like him that much. And now we're MARRIED with 3 kids. Some things just take time!

sarahlove said...

I have to admit... I dumped David more times than Emily did with her Dave.

My reason was that I didn't believe I could be loved.