Sunday, September 27, 2009

not easy

my last break up was "easy". seeing Aaron wasn't an option. three months prior to our break up he moved from Denver to Minneapolis. so once we were broken up we didn't see each other again because we didn't have the option to. although that was really hard, it made things less heartbreaking in the long run. because there was no back and forth.
right now there is a lot of back and forth with P. we've seen each other a handful of times over the past month. this is not how i pictured it, and this whole experience has been a lot harder than i thought it would be. all of the same problems are still there, but the good things are still there too. and when i want to text him, call him, see him all i remember are the good things. the fact that i can't be the "strong one" to have the end be the end makes me so full of emotion and frustration. each time when we say good bye i think that is the last time. needless to say there is a lot going on. and i felt i should provide an "update". we last saw each other yesterday. as of right now i feel no urges to see him again. i have a couple of very busy weekends planned for the beginning of October, which i'm hoping will be a good distraction.

5 comments:

Emily said...

break-ups suck. I wish I had some advice. When my first boyfriend broke up with me I was up at college and he was in NM so it was like your deal with Aaron, not super hard--and then I went home for the summer. It was AWFUL the first few weeks because I saw him every week, sometimes several times a week (church stuff), and most of the time he didn't even acknowledge me. Totally broke my heart all over again. But it did get better--and I really hope it does for you too.

Anonymous said...

Iknow its hard to see. . .
But you will figure it out so it works for you
and not against.
Believe.

Love
Mom

Anonymous said...

Depends on what you really want. If you truly dont want to have anything to do with him, just delete his # from your cell phone. I cant say I've done that with a guy, per se, because cell phones were not easily available back when I was dating and no matter how pissed I get at Larry sometimes, I cant do that! LOL However, I have done that with personal acquaintances where I was (for whatever reason) drawn to a friend, but new the relationship was toxic, one-sided or otherwise not healthy. That way, I am not tempted to call that person when I am bored or happen to skim by their # in my phone.

Dont waste your precious time on anyone that is not willing to invest in your relationship as much as you do or anyone that is uncapable of doing so, because of whatever narcissistic issues they might have. That goes with anyone. The world is full of takers, April. So, leave those folks to take from each other. You save yourself for those people that are willing to give you the 100% that you give to them. You deserve to have that. Love ya -Kari

Rachel said...

(((hug))) that stinks. I wish I had more to say.

unrelated, but I wanted to tell you, my sister lives in Boulder now - she's going to grad school at naropa. :-) If I ever venture up that-a-way, I'll be knocking on your door!

Nikki said...

Kari has a way with words, and I agree with her advice. The world is full of takers, and it makes your life harder. That doesn't mean this isn't a difficult situation, cuz it is.

Love you so much,
Nik