all kinds of crazy

am i the only one to write out my outfits

before i leave for a big trip?

 

 

********

 

 

i haven't read a book since june.

how sad.

 

 

********

 

have you any of you heard of a nation wide Target scam?

i googled it and just found something about a text scam.

but i heard on the radio this morning like 30 million people got their credit card numbers scammed from Target.

i was at Target on Saturday.

 

 

*******

 

why is our postal service so horrible?

i shipped my god-daughters Christmas gift monday morning 2 day priority.

the tracking shows "in transit" with a delivery date of yesterday: 12/18/13.

 

 

********

 

i love the Christmas transformation of everything:

my house, decorations everywhere.

Christmas lights.

the spirit of the Lord is truly everywhere!

 

********

 

it totally feels like a friday.

 

 

********

 

 

Chris is on his way home!

he got an earlier flight.  he was suppose to be home tonight at 8:30pm.

but now he'll land at 3:30pm

i totally should have vacuumed last night.

 

********

 

i always cry in church when i sing

Christmas songs.

specifically "joy to the world".

 

********

 

i'm making corn casserole

for Christmas Eve dinner.

 

********

Love Notes

Chris is currently in Houston, and has been since last Sunday 12/8, and doesn’t return until Thursday night.  The good news is, he in Houston for training for his new job!  This is obviously welcome news, and I’m extremely happy and proud of him, but this leaves me without my husband for 11 days.  This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other since we met!  It’s obviously necessary, but I miss him.  The hardest was the night he left.  I cried like a baby.  I sobbed during the Bronco game, and was so upset.  I’ve made plans during his absence.  To see friends, go to the gym, talk with friends and family, organize the house, and Christmas shop.  

Overall I’ve kept myself pretty occupied.  I’ve been able to catch up with my friend Michelle, and cousin Charlene.  I got to “meet” my newest second cousin Luke over Skype with my cousin Nikki.  So far, I’ve been to the gym 4 times and completed an hour long step class that my calves are still sore from.  My cousin Cheryl came down from Fort Collins Friday night.  We went out to dinner, and she stayed the night.  I had a fabulous facial from my friend Erin who has opened her own service.  I’ve cleaned up stuff around the house, and completed all of my Christmas shopping including wrapping all of the gifts!  So I’ve kept myself busy, but I do miss my husband.  I’m ready for him to get home.  He’s been working super long hours, and I know he’s looking forward to sleeping in his own bed, even though it’ll only be for a couple of nights, since we leave for Albuquerque on Saturday.  

When I got back to the house last Sunday night after dropping him off at the airport, I immediately had to go to the bathroom where I saw two little love notes.  One on our bathroom counter, and one on the toilet.  Later that evening I found two others while getting some dinner.  One in the fridge, and one in the drawer with the utensils.  While doing stuff around the house, I found two more.  One in the front bathroom and one on my pillow.  The next day I found two others, one in my work bag, and one on my car seat.  A couple of days later, when I finally sat down to do our Christmas cards there was one more on the kitchen table.  I’ve kept the notes out while he’s been gone.  They make me smile and when I see them I know he’s thinking of me.  

We’ve been able to chat a few times each day, and just about every night we’ve chatted via FaceTime.  Being able to connect and see each other as really helped throughout his absence. 

He got a job at HHS (Hospital House Keeping) as a Operations Manager.  Basically he’ll be doing what he was before.  The hospital he’ll work at is down south, which is unfortunate since he’ll have a rather long commute (again).  But we hope and pray that this opportunity will give him some career growth.  I’m super happy he has this opportunity but  I can’t wait to see him!

Hope Chest & Otis

Random post ahead:

I don’t consider myself a crafty type of person.  I’m not very handy with household things, or DIY stuff.  I don’t think I’m inventive in the kitchen, although I am getting better.  I think it is fair to say I get this trait from my mom.  My mom is the same way.  Growing up my Aunt Patti was the crafty one.  Always making me and my cousins Halloween costumes, making me try different foods, taking us out to do crafts etc….  My in-laws are like my Aunt Patti, and I’m so thankful for that!  Mary my mother-in-law is super awesome in the kitchen along with Grandma Mog.  Grandma Mog at 80+ years old she still crafts!  Sewing us beautiful pillow covers, both her and Mary made us a huge beautiful quilt for our king size bed.  She’s made us Christmas ornaments and decorations.  I’m amazed by it!  She’s even making baby Sweat’s curtain for the baby room!  Her brother (Chris' great uncle) made us this beautiful hope chest for our wedding.  It’s been at my in-laws house for the past year, and Chris and I rented a large SUV at Thanksgiving to transport it back to our house!  I love it!  I’ve never owned a piece of handmade furniture.  And to know that it’ll grow with us and our family is so heartwarming.  It’s big and made of wood, and the smell when you open it is amazing!  I love it!  So thanks to my crafty in-laws for all of these amazing things you have brought into my life.

with stuff in it already.

view from our front door.

Subject change.

Otis got a hair cut a couple of weeks ago.  His hair was a mangled mess.  The cats eat Purina cat food, which I read a long time ago is good for the hair, and Denali’s coat is beautiful.  Shiny and soft.  And for a long time so was Otis’.  But lately if just felt gross, and definitely not shiny.  So I figure a good wash was in order.  But what happened was a shaving.  I thought he was going to get his hair groomed.  A nice bath, and brush over.  When Chris picked him up from the groomer he called me and just laughed.  Poor Otis.  He looks so small.  Otis is not a social cat whatsoever, so I was little bit nervous that this outing would leave him scarred for life.  But he was the normal talkative cat when I got home, and was totally fine.  Denali on the other hand.  She didn’t like this.  I’m pretty sure she thought Otis was a different cat.  She grumbled and hissed every time Otis would walk by.  Thankfully her hateful reaction didn’t faze Otis one bit.  If anything Otis is milking this for all it’s worth.  Getting more cuddle time, and sleeping on our bed.  It’s pretty funny.  Denali as mostly adjusted, but she still sometimes hisses at him.  But at least now they can be on the same room or lap together!

Motherhood

My friend Emily just wrote this crazy blog about a crazy "day in the life", and she mentioned having a moment where she pictured "motherhood".  That got me thinking about how I picture motherhood and being a mother. 

My mom and I on my wedding day 10/5/12

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had two realizations that this baby was meant to be.  That the timing was right, and that baby would be ok.  That of course, doesn't stop me from worrying, but as this pregnancy continues it does give me some comfort.
The first was baby's birth month: May, and realizing that the birth stone for May is Emerald.  The color green symbolizes the Irish in me, and more specifically my close relationship with my Grandpa Egan.  My Grandpa passed away more than 20 years ago, but I still feel him looking down on me, taking care of me.  I wish I had a picture of it, but in my bracelet I wore on my wedding day I had a green stone placed in it, just so that I could feel my Grandpa with me on my wedding day.  One of my first jobs when I moved to Denver was an assistant Manager at the Fine Jewelery counter at Foley's (now Macy's), while I worked there, I bought my mom a beautiful Emerald ring, again just to symbolize her relationship with her dad.  And now baby Sweat's birthstone will be Emerald.  Who knew that a ring I bought my mom back in 2003 would turn into her very own Grandmother's ring 11 years later?!  Knowing that we had been trying for baby Sweat for 8 months, I truly believe we conceived this child with the power of God in the month of August, so that we would have our very own May baby, and that baby will have a little bit of Irish in him or her.

Secondly was this dream. When I first found out I was pregnant I had a strong intuition that baby was a girl, mainly because of this dream, and just because I felt girl. I've had 4 other people (including my mom) tell me they feel: girl. Then Chris had a dream that baby was a girl. But more recently I had a dream that baby was a boy, and a friend tell me that she feels it's a boy. So who knows, regardless we won't be finding out the sex until baby makes his or her appearance in May! Anyways, back to this dream. I'm so happy I wrote this dream down. Once I found out I was pregnant, I went back to the blog and found the original post. When I looked at the date on the post I realized I had this dream right at around the time Chris and I conceived (sorry if that's TMI for some of you) 4 years prior. Call my crazy, but I think it is crazy to have a dream about having a daughter, and then 4 years after you have that dream you realize you're pregnant with your first child. Especially when I look back and I think about where I was in my life in August 2009. When I read Emily's comment on what she pictured motherhood to be like, I instantly thought about this dream. Shopping with my child and my mom. Feeling so happy and content being a mom, seeing my mom as a grandma. Then I started thinking about my mom. And how I wonder if her being a mom is how she pictured it. Granted I definitely had my difficult teen years etc...but I thought how she was so excited when I was getting married, helping me plan the wedding, and then of course the wedding day. That I wonder if she thought to herself "this is what I pictured motherhood to be like" while watching me walk down the aisle with my dad, saying my vows to my husband. And now she'll get to picture me become a mother. Have a baby. Take care of this little life.

It's all extremely overwhelming. I spoke to my cousin Nikki last night, who has a 10 week old baby at home, to get the dirty truth on bring a newborn home. She said all the things would you expect. How life changing it is, how hard it is, and how great and rewarding it is. I definitely feel like it's an experience that I'll have to have myself. Their can only be so much prepping before a baby arrives. It's an adventure and a challenge I'm looking forward to. Although one of my fears is how awe consuming it'll be. How lost I'll be in new motherhood. How it'll just take over my life. Nikki mentioned how it's now the only thing she really talks about. With her friends, coworkers, family, husband. I can definitely understand because being a mom and taking care of a newborn are her main focus. But what about the rest of life? I know it'll be a balancing act, but I don't want to lose Chris as my husband, and I don't want Chris to lose me as his wife. I hope that we'll form into "Mom" and "Dad" but not forget where we came from.

I picture motherhood as remembering moments, seeing my child grow and shape to be exactly who he or she should be (one my daily prayers lately). I picture it to be challenging and heartwarming. I picture seeing Chris as the amazing Dad I know he'll be. I picture new fights and annoyances as we get to know one another as parents. I also see new love and admiration growing for this man I feel so blessed to be sharing my life with. I know it'll be a roller coaster. With highs of highs I haven't even come close to ever experiencing in my life, along with lows of lows of the same magnitude. The thought of motherhood brings me to tears, and I feel as though I have just barely touched the surface. It's going to be an emotional ride!

The Stockings are Hung...and it's cold

 So if you haven't heard, it's been super cold here.  We've been below freezing since Wednesday, and don't expect to get above freezing until Thursday of next week.  I don't like it. 

In other news, we've put up all of our Christmas decorations.  I loved seeing our new house transformed into the holiday spirit!

It was great putting up decorations with Chris.  Even though we won't be here for the actual Christmas holiday, it's also so heartwarming and special to snuggle up and just light the Christmas tree.

Thankful Thanksgiving

Chris and I traveled to Kearney, NE on Wednesday to celebrate Thanksgiving with his family.  This trip was long over due, as the last time we were visited Nebraska was last Christmas.
We arrived in time to have some dinner, and get reconnected.
On Thanksgiving morning Chris and I did our very first Turkey Trot.  I've always wanted to do one, and although it was freezing, I'm so glad we did it!  They offered a 2 mile option or a 5 mile option.  I wasn't comfortable doing the 5 miler, so we opted for the 2 miles, which I'm happy we did, because it was pretty cold and windy. 
We jogged a lot of the first mile, being at a lower elevation, and part of the first half was downhill made it easy.  The second mile however, was much more difficult.  We were walking into the cold wind, and it was all pretty much uphill.  Not fun.  But we did it, and it was a great memory for the both of us.

 We enjoyed a huge Thanksgiving spread courtesy of Mary (my mother in law) and Aunt Mary (Chris' aunt, and his Dad's sister).  Aunt Mary came to celebrate with the family from Kansas City.  We enjoyed all the Thanksgiving fixings, and shared our blessings.  My main blessing of course, is being pregnant, and carrying a happy and healthy baby!
Throughout the trip there was a lot of visiting and conversing.  This is a big difference in Chris' family that I love.  At Chris' house people gather in the living room and just talk.  It's so nice, compared to at my parents house where my dad is always in the living room watching TV, my mom in her room watching TV, and usually with me in my old room watching TV.  At my in laws house the only TV is down in the basement, and during our trip there was only about 30 minutes of TV watching.  I'll admit that Chris and I are big TV watchers, we probably watch too much TV.  But it's the exact opposite at his parents house.  Although it can be overwhelming at times, just sitting and talking is truly a wonderful family experience and memory. 
We did some shopping, and Marty (my father in law) took us on a tour of Kearney.  I believe he said Kearney is currently about a population of 30,000, but it's growing in every direction.  So we went to all corners of the little city, to see the expansions being made with both commercial and residential growth.
We played many games with Aunt Mary and Alice (my sister in law) on a couple of days.  And just had a great time.  Lifelong memories were definitely made.
Overall it was so relaxing.  We hung out with a couple of Chris' friends, and lost track of the time and day.  A vacation is truly a vacation when you don't have to keep track of time.
One morning we went on a family walk with the family dogs: Grace and Hope.  It was so beautiful.

Overall a great trip.  To have so much family and relaxing time made it a perfect Thanksgiving holiday.  As we drove away Sunday morning I started crying as I realized the next time we see them we'll have a baby, and they'll be grandparents.  It's so overwhelming to think about, that when I do, I can't help but get emotional. 

I'm beyond thankful for Chris' family.  I've been truly blessed to have some pretty awesome in laws.  Marty, Mary, and Alice are all so excited for this little baby, and I'm so excited to be apart of this exuberant family!

Random Pregnancy Thoughts (thus far)

I absolutely love seeing famous people who have announced their pregnancy:

Olivia Wilde

Kerry Washington
Melissa Rycroft
KristinCavallari
Kendra Wilkinson
Drew Barrymore

Kelly Clarkson

Jennifer Goodwin

 

I think a positive pregnancy test should be able to do magic, or light up and dance, or something.
This plastic device just gave me life changing news, and it doesn’t really do anything.

During my 12 weeks when my pregnancy was secret I would think to myself “I’m growing a human.  I’m growing a human.”  It made me feel ultra cool.

My friend Andrea is pregnant too!  We’re 2 weeks 2 days apart, and our weddings were 2 weeks 1 day apart.  Yes, we are living parallel lives.  No, we didn’t plan it this way!  But I sure was thankful she was there through all the wedding planning drama, and I’m so super grateful now that we get to experience mommyhood together!

Sometimes I still can’t believe it.

I really love not having my period.

I’m already annoyed by people asking me “How are you feeling.”

Pretty soon I’ll be wearing my sweat pants to work.  Maternity clothes have zero options for us working folk.  I’m already frustrated.

Double Date Weekend

We told all of our extended family about Baby Sweat the first weekend of November.  My mom was thrilled to announce that she was going to become a grandmother!!   …a little side story, back in May when my parents came to visit I had many conversations with my mom about the fact that Chris and I were trying to get pregnant, and the whole “Trying to Conceive” community that I found.  She was beyond joyous at just the thought of us having a baby that she started chanting: “I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna say it….I’m gonna be a Grandma!”  It was so cute, but I was quick to point out that nothing was happening yet…  Like I’ve said previously, I seriously thought it was going to take a long, hard struggle to conceive.

We also saw my parents a lot over the summer, between their trips here, and our trip to NM in June, I was hoping that timing would work out to tell my parents in person.  But unfortunately that didn’t happen.

Anyways, my mom and her sisters (there are 4 local, and 1 in RI {total of 6 sisters}) plan many sisterly get togethers throughout the year, and my mom had hoped that she could plan a gathering for this special announcement.  But my Aunt Patti who is a brand new grandmother herself was in Nashville with her daughter Nikki and her grandson that was born on 9/25. 

So instead that weekend my mom just called of her sisters and told all of them the news that way.

Then the weekend after when my Aunt Patti was back in town, all the local sisters got together for my mom to celebrate and my Aunt Patti to share stories of baby Luke. 

From there my Aunt Michelle asked if my mom would like to travel up to Denver the following weekend for a last minute trip.  My mom of course, jumped at the chance.

So this past Thursday evening my mom and Aunt Michelle arrived.  They both got the special treat to come with us Friday morning to a last minute ultrasound appointment.  The week prior I had off/on light spotting.  I was concerned, called the nurse and we got a ultrasound scheduled! 

Baby is fine, and was confidentially told that some bleeding is completely normal.  Thankfully all as been good since Sunday!

I was so happy that my mom and Aunt Michelle got to see the baby move around and wave!

After the doctor we had a nice breakfast, followed by lots of baby shopping.  My mom – love her! is ready to fill the baby room with all of its furniture.  She’s ready to spoil this little grand baby of hers.  But I’m just not ready for that.  I would prefer to wait until March before we-or my mom rather, start going crazy with big purchase items.

But we had fun shopping around, looking at all of the stuff.  There is so much stuff!

For dinner that night we took my Aunt Michelle out to Colt and Gray.  It was a special dinner to celebrate my Aunt Michelle’s birthday! 

On Saturday morning we headed downtown to participate in the lottery for “The Book ofMormon”.  Chris and I had purchased tickets many many months ago, but were hoping we could get my mom and aunt in for the show.  Aunt Michelle was a lucky winner (out of 12)!!!  She was able to buy two FRONT Row seats for $50!  She graciously traded our tickets, so we got to seat front and center!  The show was amazing!  Soooo funny!  It’s of course, about Mormon’s.  The story is of two Missionaries sent on their two year mission to Africa.  The scary, poor, portion of Africa.  One Elder is the perfect Mormon who dreamed and prayed of being sent to Orlando on his mission.  Another Elder is the goofy, relaxed Mormon who goes along very happy go lucky.  Needless to say, perfect Mormon is a bit annoyed with happy go lucky Mormon.  After seeing someone get shot perfect Mormon gives up and leaves the Missionary.  Happy go lucky Mormon finds a group of Africans that will listen to him and about The Book of Mormon.  But Happy go lucky Mormon didn’t really pay attention during his training, so he basically tells these hilarious stories to keep the Africans engaged in his story telling.  Which results in all of the Africans wanting to be baptized.  This is a huge accomplishment, and a head Mormon guy comes to Africa to congratulate the Missionaries.  Meanwhile Perfect Mormon has “the horrible hell dream” and decides to come back.  Once the head Mormon guy is there, the Africans decide to put on a play of what they’ve been taught.  Which is very funny, and super inappropriate, and probably nothing like what really is in The Book of Mormon.  Needless to say, head Mormon guy is appalled and leaves disgusted. 

In a word=Hilarious! 

After the show we headed to Tag for another fabulous dinner.  I chose Tag because I got a Living Social deal, and it was so much fun to include my mom and aunt.

Sunday was another super busy day.  We started at church, then to breakfast.  Followed by another trip downtown for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.  These were last minute tickets that I got from work!  I’ve always wanted to see TSO, and it was a great show!  After the show we hurried home to watch the Bronco game!

Overall jam-packed but we all had a great time! 

I’m beyond thankful for my mom and Aunt, as they treated us most of the time, and it was great to get in some quality time with family.

An update on Me Part II

 

Since writing this post, things have obviously changed.  I of course, knew I was pregnant when I wrote that post, but felt I needed to address the issue, since that issue in general has been a big focus of my blog.  Things have gone from weight loss, to getting married, weight gain, and now I’m having a baby!  Such is the flow of my life.

So now what?

Honestly getting pregnant was truly a pleasant surprise.  When we first started trying at the beginning of the year I was overwhelmed.  I wasn’t ready to get pregnant, but knew that time was of the essence.  I joked with Chris that it would be just like us to get pregnant right away, especially since we’ve met things have gone full speed ahead without moments to truly reflect.  Meet.Date.Engaged.Married.House.  The next logical thing = baby. 

I remember similar conversations with Chris throughout the beginning of the year each month when I would find out I wasn’t pregnant, about wondering if I could even get pregnant.  I mean I had never tried to get pregnant before.  What if I couldn’t?!  Chris was of course the cool calm collected man that he is, and he knew it would happen.  He just knew, that having a baby was a for sure thing.  I put pressure on myself, I mean this was a man who wanted to get me pregnant before we were even engaged.  He’s wanted to be a dad for so long.  Each time I would take my birth control, he would always pester me and ask “Why do you keep taking that?!”  I of course, told him about my need to be married.  How everything with us was already so fast, let’s just be us for awhile.  In my mind I always wanted to be married for at least year before trying for a baby.  But also in my mind, I was married in my 20’s so my age wouldn’t really be a factor.  Well I got married at 32, and I knew my child-bearing years were pretty much coming to a close.  After we got married we compromised and agreed to start trying after 6 months of marriage.  That would have put us in April.  But then I ran out of birth control in January, and I figured what’s a few months?  And of course everything worked out exactly as it should.  We conceived in August, and now baby Sweat is due mid-May 2014. 

In my opinion it happened so easy, even though we had been trying for 8 months.  But I truly pictured myself going to the doctor in January and having the whole “Ok, so I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year.  And it hasn’t happened yet, what’s next?” conversation.  I pictured drugs, and tests, and many more months of trying.

But now here I am almost 15 weeks along.

I have spoken to my doctor about my weight, and how I am concerned being overweight and pregnant.  My goal is to gain no more than 15 pounds, but hope to gain hardly any.  And as of right now, I’ve actually lost a pound. 

I have found out that I’m pre-diabetic.  Something I’ve been in denial about.  This wouldn’t be an issue if I wasn’t pregnant but I am.  Basically I have to watch my diet, and cut back on carbs.  I’ll also have to log my blood sugars, which I am really not looking forward to.  We’ve been sent to Obstetrix, a specialists that specifically focuses on all and any pregnancy complication you can imagine.  The big fear in being pre-diabetic is having a super big baby.  So I’ll do what I’m told, and pray and hope that baby is healthy.  We go back to Obstetrix for our 20 week appointment and ultrasound on 12/30, and then a few more times throughout the pregnancy to make sure baby isn’t getting too big.  I really like it there, and their ultrasound rooms are much nicer than the regular doctor. 

Once baby makes his/her appearance, the main focus after getting a grip on the whole mommy thing will be to lose weight.  I know that none of this will be easy, but I also know it’s for the best. 

I’m so disappointed in myself for gaining the weight that I have, that I know I’m probably never going to look pregnant.  In fact, I’ll probably just look even bigger.  So you won’t be seeing any cute baby bump pictures.  And that just takes away from my pregnancy experience, which just sucks.  We gotta get through this baby first, but hopefully in a few years we’ll get to do this all over again, and baby number 2 will be on his/her way and my goal is to be much healthier than what I am now for that experience.  Not only for myself, but for the baby too! 

Overall I’m trying to put myself in a happy place.  Becoming a parent is a big deal, and my life as I know it is about to drastically change.  I need to focus on being positive, and know that everything will work out.  There are so many things I am super scared about, but try not to think about.  I’m trying to go with the flow, and not plan out every single moment like I usually do.  I’m working on putting my trust in God and know that He will take care of all of us.  I have countless blessings to be thankful for, and giving God the weight of my worry is just one of them.



Pregnancy week 4 - 12

Just some notes about these first weeks of pregnancy.

*****

Baby Sweat at 8weeks 5days*

Baby Sweat at 9 weeks 6 days*

Baby Sweat at 12 weeks 6 days*

Week 4: 9/7 – 9/13 (poppyseed)

This week I have felt exhausted and hungry.  I come home and all I want to do is eat and sleep.  Nothing too exciting.  I’m waking up twice a night to use the restroom, that’s not fun, but makes sense as I’m drinking more water, and my body is getting prepared for a growing visitor.  I’m fascinated by your growth, and learning about you growing inside.  The fact that right now you are just millions of cells, and one tiny miracle!

Week 5: 9/14 – 9/20 (appleseed)

I feel less pregnant this week.  Just because I’m not as tired, and am eating more normal, if that makes sense.  Chris and I have been going on walks which have been really nice.  I’m wanting to try and be active.  Every moment seems to go towards you being ok and healthy.  My constant mantra is “Please dear Lord let this baby be ok.”  “Please dear Lord let this baby be healthy.”  It’s a very overwhelming feeling.  It’s incredibility difficult not telling everyone I’m pregnant.  And I’m growing more and more anxious for our first prenatal appointment in 3 weeks! 

Week 6: 9/21 – 9/27 (sweet pea)

Ugh, I’m sick this week, and little sweet pea isn’t helping.  I woke up Monday morning with a sore throat, and that has progressed to a running nose, sneezing, and coughing.  I really hope to feel better soon.  I feel like I have zero appetite.  Who knows if it is because I’m sick or because I’m pregnant, but nothing seems appealing.  Wednesday morning the idea of some wheat toast sounded fantastic, which I was thankful for. 

Week 7: 9/28 – 10/5 (blueberry)

Still not feeling so hot this week.  I’m tired all the time, and am easily sleeping 8+ hours each night.  Along with the twice trips nightly to use the restroom.  No real morning sickness, although I have had a couple cases of nausea where something just sounds disgusting, and smells...I feel like my senses are in overdrive.  If I crave anything it is either carbs or something fresh like a salad or fruit.  My uterus has doubled in size, and you are also doubling in size week to week! 

Week 8: 10/6 – 10/12 (raspberry)

This week it became real!  We had our first OB appointment on 10/10.  As predicted you are exactly 8w5d, with a EDD of 5/17/14.  We got to see your super strong heart!  Your heart rate is 168!  I feel so relieved.  All of my prayers of “Please let this baby be ok” have been answered!  Seeing you was a beautiful moment.  I cried, and we were so happy to spread the news that you are growing exactly as you should!

Week 9: 10/13 – 10/19 (green olive)

Got the results from all the blood the doctor took from me last week.  All is good except for my blood sugar.  This isn’t too big a surprise as majority of my mom’s side (including my mom) is diabetic.  Got the official news that I’m pre-diabetic.  My levels are just slightly above the norm, and puts me in the category of “High Risk Pregnancy”.  Although scary sounding, it could be so much worse.  I have to pay special attention to my diet, and stay away from carbs.  Hopefully doing that will prevent me from having to take any medication.  Although my levels are elevated, I’m still in the “normal” category of having this cause risk to baby.  So that’s good news!  Another perk to be categorized as “high risk” is more ultrasounds=more times to see baby!  We meet with the nurse on 10/16 to go over EVERYTHING: from all the diabetes stuff, to the hospital stay.  We talked with her for more than 2 hours.  Phew!  On 10/18 we went to a specialists that deals with every type of pregnancy complication you can imagine.  Got to see Baby S again!, and it was amazing the difference from last week to this week.  The details were amazing.  We go to see baby move, see the heartbeat again, along with hearing the heartbeat!  I’m still measuring right on point, and am getting super excited as we near the 12 week mark!

Week 10: 10/20 – 10/26 (prune)

I’m just so exhausted.  I don’t really know what else to say.  I have no energy, and truly hope that I go back to normal in a few weeks.  I’m getting more and more anxious as week 12 gets closer.  Lots is up in the air right now, as I’m waiting to hear if I got a new job or not, and I truly hope that the timing will just be perfect. 

Week 11: 10/27 – 11/2 (lime)

Still tired.  I did have my first real craving, and sent Chris to the store for some cinnamon toaster strudels.  Obviously not fruit or salad like I have been wanting.  But absolutely nothing else sounded good.  Who knows how many years it had been since I’ve had a toaster strudel.  But that toaster strudel was G double O D…good!  Another first this week: I got sick.  True “morning sickness” as it was in the morning.  I’ve been waking up super flemy (if that’s even a word).  Needless to say I got rid of a bunch of phlegm.  It was gross.

Week 12: 11/3 – 11/9 (plum)

Cat’s outta the bag this week.  I’ve told my work, and pretty much everybody!  I’ve really enjoyed telling people in person, since majority of the family I’ve told was via phone.  Got to hear the heartbeat again, and see you!  You were sound asleep when the tech first put the “camera” on you.  After a couple of jabs you moved, kicked and waved!  You have a strong heart rate of 164!  I had some light spotting later in the week that scared the crap out of me, since up until now everything’s been “normal” down there.  But thankfully you’re ok, and still growing exactly as you should.

*One of the coolest things I think about getting a ultrasound is seeing your name and date of birth on the screen with your baby.  For me, it makes it that much more official! 

Poppy Seed!

Obviously lots to catch up on!.  I'll start with a little letter I wrote describing this journey, once we found out we were expecting. 

***** 

 

 

Friday September 6, 2013

Dear little poppy seed,

It’s crazy to think that’s how big you are right now (or rather how little!), just millions of little cells forming into a little life.  Our life!  We found out we were expecting you just 3 days ago on Tuesday September 3^rd.  You’ve made your dad and I so incredibly happy.  Although I gotta be honest, you are a pleasant surprise.  I thought it was going to take a lot longer for you to make your arrival.  I know some Mom’s out there who are a lot healthier than I am and a lot younger than I am, who took a lot longer to get their little poppy seed.  I think it goes to show that sometimes it just isn’t up to us.  I feel so happy and so blessed that you have found your home with us after trying for you since January 2013. 

At the beginning of the summer we bought our first home pregnancy test, that just stayed put for awhile.  Over the past 8 months I’ve gotten to know my body pretty well, and knew what symptoms to expect before my period, and so whenever those symptoms would start, I knew better than to take a pregnancy test just see a negative result, when I knew I would start my period.  But the beginning of this week was different.  My parents (your Grandpa and Grandma Madrid) were in town at the end of last week, and left Saturday afternoon which was a good distraction from the dreaded two week wait!  Saturday 8/31 night I slept about 13 hours, I was exhausted.  Who knows if it was because of your presence or it was from lack of sleep from when my parents were here, but that could have been my first indication of your arrival. 

 On Sunday 9/1 I was expecting my first signs of PMS symptoms, to get ready for my period that was due at the end of the week.  But nothing happened.  For the first time I had a true conversation with myself that resulted in the fact that I could indeed be pregnant.  All months in the past when I would even question if I were pregnant or not, I immediately told myself I wasn’t.  But this month was different.  This month I felt there was a chance.  I struggled back and forth all day Sunday if I should take a pregnancy test Monday morning.  Come Sunday night I knew I wouldn’t be able to shut my brain down and decided to just do it.   On Monday 9/2 I took my first ever pregnancy test.  And there was the faintest of lines.  But convinced myself I was seeing things, but also knew that in the back of my head a line is a line.  From the research I had done on home pregnancy tests, I knew that regardless of how faint the line was, if there was a line the test was positive.  I showed it to your dad, and I could tell he saw something too, but that he didn’t want to get my hopes up.  I left for the gym that morning to privately celebrate my news in Dance Jam, but still feeling so unsure.  I felt great.  Most of Monday I had convinced myself to hold off a couple of days before testing again to confirm what I felt was a sure thing, but by Monday night I knew I was going to test again Tuesday morning. 

The same thing happened on Tuesday 9/3 morning.  A faint line, but a line.  I showed your dad again, and got the same response.  He was convinced that we couldn’t “call it” until my period was officially late/missed, which was in 5 days!  …do you know how long that is?!  I knew there was no way I could wait 5 days.  For a couple of reasons.  One, I knew I was pregnant, I just needed to get your dad on board, and two my parents are leaving tomorrow 9/7 for a week long Alaskan cruise and I knew I wouldn’t be able to wait until my parents returned to tell them about your arrival! 

So, Tuesday afternoon after work I bought a digital pregnancy test, that tells you loud and clear either: “Not Pregnant” or “Pregnant”, plus how many weeks you are!  I was steadfast on getting your dad on board!  Once I got home I took the test and while explaining to him all these crazy things about the female body what popped up on the test?  Yup, you guessed it: “PREGNANT: 1-2 weeks”!!!  We talked, laughed, and cried about your life changing presence in our lives and expressed our love for one another as we feel so blessed to make our family bigger! 

After we let it sink in we called your Grandpa and Grandma Madrid to share the news.  We got them both on the phone and I asked my parents: “What are you guys doing in May?”  My dad’s response was: “Who knows?!”  And I advised them: “Well I was thinking you guys would become grandparents!”  To say there were elated is an understatement.  I know they are going to spoil you rotten! 

Next up was your Aunt Alice.  Her response was: “About time!”  Plus she was so excited!  Last up was getting your Grandpa and Grandma Sweat together.  This was a little tricky.  Grandma Sweat was at a HS baseball game selling tickets, and Grandpa Sweat was at home sleeping.  Your dad called his mom to see when she would be home and that he had something to discuss with both his mom and dad.  He made up an excuse in regards to his health.  Your grandma effortlessly tried to get Chris to say something, but didn’t.  Once he got off the phone, he felt so bad!  He didn’t mean to cause his mom undue stress with worrying her that something was wrong with him, but I confidently told him it would be worth it.  Once we were able to get them on the phone at the same time Chris immediately started apologizing to his mom reassuring him that nothing was wrong, and while Chris was explaining himself, your Grandma Sweat interjected and spilled the beans by shouting: “Are you guys pregnant?!”  They were over the moon ecstatic!  There was so much energy on the phone with them, you could literally feel the excitement!

You are already so loved!  You’re the first grandchild for all of your grandparents, and I know they have waited for you just as long as your dad and I have, if not longer!  In fact I’m pretty sure you’ve already been in contact with your Irish Great-Grandpa Egan, and that the two of you had a say as when you would appear on this earth.  The birthstone for May is Emerald which is green and represents the Irish in your Great-Grandpa Egan very well.  In fact I had a green stone in my wedding day jewelry for the sole propose of representing your Great-Grandpa Egan and the close relationship we had.  I truly believe he is up watching over you and will make sure you stay put for the next 8 months, and come out happy and healthy next May! 

It’s so hard keeping your presence a secret!  I have my first prenatal appointment and ultrasound on October 10^th, and I’ll be almost 9 weeks at that time.  I’ll reach that crucial 12 week mark on 11/2, and can’t wait to tell everyone about you!  It’s so crazy to think about how much my body is changing at this moment in time, but that none of the changes are really outward physical changes.  They are all internal changes happening on the inside.  So even though I’m changing, nobody can tell.  I just want to go yell it from the roof tops: “I’m PREGNANT!!!” 

I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be pregnant, and now that I am, I just want you to be ok.  I obviously can’t feel you, but I do know that you are there.  For the most part I feel pretty normal.  I haven’t been overly exhausted even though sometimes at night I lay awake being anxious about your arrival.  I know change will come soon enough and I’m here for you and to enjoy this new experience, and make your home as safe and healthy as I can between now and May!     

Oh little poppy seed, I’m so excited for the next 8 months.  To hope you grow and become exactly who you are meant to be!   I can’t wait to meet you and hold you sometime next Spring, and love you and kiss you! 

Thank you for making me a Mom!

I love you,

Mom



Touchdown!

The cat is finally out of the bag!
I'm so thrilled, happy, and blessed to announce that we are expecting!!! 
Our little Bronco fan is due mid May 2014!!!

Be prepared for pregnancy/baby blog overload!

New Experiences

10/5/12 Getting married in the Chapel

This may seem weird, but I'm really enjoying growing with Chris as husband and wife.  After 13 months of marriage I'm finally getting comfortable, and used to my "wife" role.  After being single for so long, and accepting I would happily live my life as a single person, this whole "couple-dom" has been a concept I've been trying to get used to over the past 13 months.

Chris and I are growing in our church family, and it is such a warm and welcome change.  Recently we were even in the "We Care We Give" campaign video for the church that was shown at all 5 Sunday services.  Over the past few months we've spent more time with Pastor Ken, and the musical director Joe.  We've gone to our first church outing, and soon we hope to join our first small group.  It's been such a blessing. 
Last night we went to our second church "thing", at a group dinner (at Buca di Beppo - YUM!).  This coming Sunday is Consecration Sunday, where the church will ask about ways you can give.  We were invited to come and pray to help the church in the numerous ways you can give.  And to pray that other members will give whatever they can as well.
It was a big group, and a lot of fun.  We were asked to sit by someone we didn't know, and to get to know them and learn about their faith journey over the past year.  I sat next to Elaine who has been a member of the church for 18 years.  It was such a fun opportunity to get to know so many members of the church, and to hear part of there stories.  At one point everyone was able to introduce who it is that they got to know, so you truly got to meet everyone in the room.

On the drive home after dinner, Chris and I were talking about the night, and I voiced my excitement, that this is the first big thing that we are doing as a married couple.  Growing within our church, and creating this church family.  He too was so excited, and was able to see that even though we were there as a couple, we were still individuals having separate conversations away from just each other.  Bev, who introduced Chris acknowledged Chris' faith journey, and how it's been full speed ahead.  She pointed out that he didn't really grow up in religious family or household, and prior to belonging to Broomfield United Methodist Church he had never officially belonged to any church.  Chris pointed out he had never it looked at it that way before, but realized how true a statement that was.  Then I told him how I was concerned way back after he proposed that he wouldn't want to get married in a church, but how after proposing and talking about our wedding, it was his idea to get married in a church.  And how that offering, was just another one of the many reasons I knew he was the man I was meant to be with.  (I had seriously thought I would have to do some major convincing on my end to get to him to want to get married in a church.) 
It's crazy how planning our wedding, and getting married in a church, as blessed us with so much more.  Who knew that when we found this church to get married in, we would be blessed with a growing relationship with God, create a stronger married foundation, meet and connect with so many nice people...this list goes on and on...?!  We truly feel so blesses, and excited to continue our faith journey and grow as a married couple.

I love new experiences, and last night was a special highlight for me.  As it was a great experience to feel a special growing bond with my husband. 

All Hallows Eve

We're handing out candy in the Sweat household tonight.  Having fun seeing all the cute kiddos!  I was actually pretty on top of it this year and put up decorations at the beginning of the month!

The "Happy Halloween" sign below is probably about 25+ years old, and stolen from my parents house.  It's a classic and I love it.

Our pumpkins: photo-bombed by Chris

Chris' pumpkin

my pumpkin

the front door

Happy Halloween!!!

An update on Me

My friend Sarah posted this back in August, and it's really stuck with me, and for this post, it'll be used as a segway into me, and where I am in my healthiness journey.  Here's the whole caption:

"Whether you power walk, dance Zumba, ride a bike, do Crossfit, follow Insanity, downward dog at sunrise or just made it from your couch to the front door of the gym, you're already doing great. Keep moving, keep going. Recovering from a second c-section has changed my perspective on what it means to be fit and what it is to have a strong body. I have a lot of work to do, this for sure. I have weight to lose. You, newbie, back there in the corner of the group fitness room hoping you don't get busted out in class, I get it. I'm there with you. Let's work together, let's keep moving. Don't stop coming to class. You, super fit person, who has no time to wait for the newbie, I know you. I've been there too. I remember what it feels like so I'll catch up to you soon. Everyone come together and find out what awesome things your body can do for you! Let's be thankful we all keep moving every damn day."

 

Granted I've never had a c-section, but I can truly relate to being across the board with my fit-self.  I started and stopped so many times prior to ballooning up to 265 in the summer of 2008, and ever since I started (again) in the fall of 2008 I honestly don't feel like I've ever stopped.  I have definitely had some draw backs, and I think it's safe to say that the last year I've gone backwards, but I've never, ever stopped.  And for that I'm proud.  I've slowed down.  And I predict sometime in the future I'll go full steam ahead like I once did in 2009 and 2010.  Since I've returned to blogging I haven't really discussed my weight, but I feel like my readers are probably wondering where I'm at.  So I figured an update was due, along with some other thoughts on the subject.  My update is:  I'm still trying.  I am definitely not down any weight, in fact I've gained more weight since last I spoke on the subject.  No need to beat me up about it, I've done that enough.  I know I may sound like a broken record, but there you have it.  I'm uncomfortable, disappointed, and disgusted with myself.  Not all of my hard work of losing 90 pounds is out the door (thank goodness) but once I get at it full steam ahead, it's discouraging to know that a lot the pounds I'll be losing, I'll be losing for the second time around.  It's interesting, because I know I've thought I would never be one of those to regain lost weight.  Especially in the matter of 12 months, but that is obviously not the case.  I wish I had a turning point, or a event that caused it all, but I don't.  I got lazy.  Sure I could blame getting married, adjusting to married life, such big transitions, but that's no excuse.  If I really wanted to maintain I could have. 

I think one of the biggest changes are in the way I'm treated.  I definitely noticed changes in the way people treated me as I was going through the actual weight loss, and all of it being very positive.  But now that I'm going the opposite direction, it's different.  I was trying to think of a way to word it because it's not obvious.  People aren't out right mean or rude, people are plenty nice.  They just aren't as warm.  Not as sincere, it's something in there demure.  Body language and attitude.  I think it's because people are trying so hard to act normal, like nothing has changed.  Do I want people to acknowledge it, and come right out at ask: "Have you gained weight?"  No, I don't want that.  It's obvious.  But just because people don't ask, doesn't mean I can't tell.  It's a weird experience going from one extreme to the other.  I notice it everywhere.  At work, at the gym, and with strangers.  Strangers ignore fat people.  Rarely make eye contact, and just try to act as if they don't see you.  Its unfortunate but true.  People gravitate toward attractive people, and when you aren't attractive, you don't get noticed. 

 

So I'm currently back at the back of the group fitness classes (being shy and unfamiliar with my surroundings), and usually when I do go to the gym it's either on the treadmill or the elliptical which has always been my "easy" go-to workout.  And my normal workout time is around 35-45 minutes.  One day I'll be back at the front in class (executing all of the moves with sharpness and knowing what I'm doing) showing the goods, and working out 60+ minutes.  I remember when I was there, I used to think a 35 minute was just a warm up, and I used to think it was funny that once upon a time I actually thought working out for 35 minutes was a work out.  And well now, I'm super proud of myself for getting to the front door of the gym, walking inside, and actually doing something.  This is all part of my journey, and just a piece of where I'm going.