Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My Version of Happily Ever After

It was a year ago today when Chris proposed.  I've gone from engaged to married, and it feels so good.  With the world of thanks going on around us, I'm so thankful for so many things.  The past year has truly been one huge blessing in my life.  Not only have I been so blessed beyond my wildest dreams, the last year has been life changing.

Over the weekend Chris and I went to go see Breaking Dawn Part II.  We watched the first on Friday night so Chris could be up to speed, and it was great to re watch it before we see the second part.  I really liked the movie.  The additions that they added were great visually.  "Breaking Dawn" the book is my least favorite, and the part I enjoyed the most is when the narrative is told from Jacob's point of view.  I had hoped that somehow they would show this in the movie (although I'm not too sure how), but there was no mention in it.

The end truly got me thinking.  The ending was done really well.  I loved how they went through each character in each movie.  Truly showing the creative side of what this movie has touched.  During the end I had to do everything in me to not break down and ball.  I somehow held back all of my tears, but I wanted to just sit and cry.  Seeing this movie and seeing how each significant character goes on in life with their Happily Ever After is just so perfect.  Of course, I get it, it's a movie, based purely on all things fiction, and life isn't perfect, but I just love a happy ending.  And while I'm thinking about Bella, Edward, and Jacob's happy ending, my mind drifts to my happy ending.  Then I went back to a different emotional state that was also triggered by the ending of a movie. 

I remember when I went to go see the Sex in the City movie with my friend Sarah in the early part of 2008.  I was a horrible version of myself at that time, and at the end of the movie I bawled.  I just sat in my seat and cried and cried.  I was hurt that all of the characters in Sex in the City got their happy ending, WHEN would I get MINE!  I was questioning everything then.  I wasn't in a good place physically, mentally, emotionally.  I definitely didn't love me then, why would I expect love from someone else? 

Holding  back tears during the end of Breaking Dawn brought back those emotions from crying at the end of Sex in the City.  This time, tears of thankfulness.  I was able to reminisce in the struggles that I've had to get to where I now am.  And now I truly appreciate where I've been and what it is that I now have. 

I'm weird really when I think about how these movies affect me and my life.  How they trigger different moments and trials.  It's just a movie, it isn't real.  But it does affect real part of my life, and I guess that is how I get attached. 

Parts of me also get emotional because it's the end of the Twilight Saga. (again, weird).  I remember when the first Twilight movie came out.  I was just beginning to gain curiosity about these books, and contemplating actually reading them.  I then read them, and I watched the first Twilight movie while I was recovering from my lasik eye surgery.  I watched Twilight for the first time in the movie theater when my cousin Kari came up for a girl's weekend to watch the midnight premiere of New Moon.  The viewing of Eclipse was done on a much smaller scale while my parents were visiting.  Then last year my cousins were here for the premiere viewing the first Breaking Dawn.  Since first watching Twilight to now, that spans almost 4 years!  So much has happened, and while watching the end of Breaking Dawn on Saturday I was thinking about all of it.  And it's a lot.  I've had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I've changed a lot.  My friends and family have seen it all.  I want to thank them for being there for me, and for continuing to be there for me. 
I'm so happy to now have Chris, and to have him in my life.  I'm beyond grateful for having created my own version of happily ever after.  Even sweeter is knowing that "after" is far from being here, and we have a lifetime to create so many more happy moments!


Anonymous said...

And here is to "your" "Happily Ever After"!!! My newest mantra: God knows what He is Doing" :) :)

We will continue to celebrate your life unfolding and tomorrow will praise and be Thankful for all that we have been given.

So excited for you and Chris, see you soon.

Love ya bunches, MOM

sarahlove said...

There is really never a definitive after. Just a continual process of whatever you are trying to be. Your adventures continue! Keep sweatin' it out! ;)

Emily Foley said...

I love happy endings. I loved the twist in breaking dawn! Such clever movie making.

Summer said...

Tyler Proposed about a year ago too. :) It's amazing how much happiness comes in such a short time!