Looking Back

birthday cupcake from Cathy...don't mind if I do!

Today is my birthday.

Today I am 32.

I treated myself to a breakfast burrito this morning, and while eating it at my desk I took a trip down memory lane.

I've stated in the past that my birthday is a big deal to me, and it's important that I make it special for me. I've also stated that one great thing about this blog is the ability to go back in time and experience the past, if for anything to remember. So this morning, I took myself back. I've come a really long way.

I clicked on each January for the past years that I've blogged. 2009, 2010, 2011.

2010 to 2011 was obviously the biggest physical change. It was interesting reading some of my posts from 2009...when I first started to really working out. How some of the classes that I consider "easy" now were so difficult.

Then looking at 2010...what a big year that was for me. Starting off in Savannah, yearning for so much change, that I had no idea required so much discipline.

Then last year.

Who knew that celebrating my birthday last year that this year I would be engaged, and planning a fall wedding?!

Seriously, who knew? I really wish I would have known!!!

Then I read this.

I still feel like I have so much more I need to do. And obviously we are always moving forward, always changing...even though there are times when we want nothing to change. But the truth is we can't change change. We just can't. It's gonna happen.

I try hard to only write things in my blog that I know will happen. Things that I have control over. Why write something, write a plan, or a promise, to not follow through? I try hard to only write down my actions, to write what I am already doing. Not what I want to do...because what's the point in that?

I'm getting off topic here...I have lots in head. But today I want to relish in the fact that going forward I will no longer be spending my birthday alone. That I've come so far in the past few years, and that I still have so far to go.

My friend Angela recently stated this as her facebook status: "Love is..." and I wrote "Truly being happy with yourself to love someone unconditionally." We don't expect other's to put a condition on the love that they give us, why should we expect any less from ourselves? I've stated many times that you have to be happy with yourself alone, before you can be happy with yourself in a relationship. And looking back at what I wrote in the past, it feels good that I was happy. That I came to terms with my life and what I had at that moment. Because even though I wanted more, I appreciated what I had. And now this year's birthday celebration will be even more special!