|Courtesy of Dewdrops Photography|
A pleasant surprise to this new motherhood role is how natural my maternal instincts are. As a first time Mom I think it's normal to worry about every little thing, but some things I felt like I just knew. That once Helena exited my body all of these motherhood genes magically aligned for me and this new responsibility that I have. It was like a whole other miracle taking place. It's so amazing how God creates this little being, then gives us the knowledge of how to care for His creation. He truly is trusting us to take care of His child.
Like how warm to make her bath, or the temperature of her milk. The trimming of her finger nails, figuring out her wants and needs when she is crying. The tightness of her swaddle. How hard to pat her back when burping her. Knowing that it's ok to set her down so that I could get a bite to eat. Keeping her temperature just right. Feeling her fall asleep on me and knowing that right now it's impossible to spoil her. Wondering if she is getting enough sleep or too much sleep. Feeling confident that I have a healthy and happy baby girl.
There is so much information out there and it's overwhelming and in my opinion impossible to keep up with. I haven't read any "survival guide" for caring for a newborn, or kept track of how often she is eating or how many poppy diapers she has compared to her wet ones. I just know that I'm doing what's best for my baby. Every baby is different, unless there is a guide that's written just for your child, you just have to try your best. So it feels great to not question everything.
I feel like this has been a long time coming, but throughout my pregnancy I questioned everything when I thought about bringing a baby home. I remember when I was younger and would babysit and the Mom would tell me that I would know if the milk was too warm or too cold. And I thought to myself "But how do you know?!" Now I get it. Now I just know. Helena is trusting me to take care of her. It's incredibility empowering to know that all of this knowledge comes with having a baby, that your maternal instincts just take over.
I know I'll make mistakes along the way, but right now my gut tells me that I'm doing a pretty good job. These maternal instincts are new to me, but I have a feeling I'll be relying on them for the rest of my life! And as of right now, they've served me well.