Friday, April 25, 2014

Question of the Week:

Alright ladies, I'm in need of your opinions, help, advice, input, etc...

I had my last growth ultrasound yesterday and baby is already more than 8 pounds, I don't remember the exact number, as I know the ultrasound can be off by a pound, but baby is BIG.  And will gain another 1/2 a pound for the next 3 weeks.  Right now the doctor doesn't want me going to my due date (5/17), and I'm currently set to be induced on the evening of May 13th (I'll be 39 weeks 4 days at that time).  Yesterday the doctor offered me the option of doing a scheduled c-section once I hit 39 weeks (5/10). 
The main risk with having both a diabetic mom and a big baby is shoulder dystocia, which is why the doctor wants to do the c-section.  Although the risk is small (less than 10%) shoulder dystocia could put my baby's life at risk. 
I honestly don't know what to do.  I left the doctor's office yesterday feeling so overwhelmed.  In the past I've heard of women feeling "less of a woman" when they couldn't deliver vaginally and ended up with a c-section, and I never really understood that feeling, until yesterday.  I feel like my body has failed me, and isn't doing what it was built to do: deliver a baby vaginally.  For me it is a hard pill to swallow that this may not happen.
We have a meeting tomorrow with our doula, and that'll definitely help and will give me another opinion, and I truly hope to have a decision made my this weekend, if anything for my own sanity. 
I know a lot of mom's who have had c-sections, and wouldn't do it any other way.  Same goes with mom's who have had both a vaginal birth and a c-section, and would chose a c-section over a vaginal birth. 
I hate the idea of the recovery time involved with a c-section, along with it possibly affecting my milk supply, as I really want to breastfeed.  I really envisioned having that instant skin on skin experience with my baby and having a vaginal birth. 
Right now I hope and pray (I've done lots of praying over the past 24 hours) that baby will come on its own between now and 5/10, and that the decision will be made by baby and not me. 
But now I just don't know what to do with the potential options that I do have if baby doesn't come between now and then.  I do know that the decision is ultimately mine to make, and that each and every birth is different.  But I would truly appreciate your thoughts and input as I try to make this decision.
So ladies: I ask:
C-section or vaginal birth?


Sarah Zook said...

In my humble opinion, if there's ANY question about the life of your baby do a c section. Hands down.

Sarah Zook said...

Ok I'm back...:) Your doctor isn't going to even suggest a c section unless they think it's necessary. You can breastfeed totally normal with a c section. Get on a schedule with it if it means enough to do it. And if you formula feed your baby because you find breast feeding isn't your thing, don't feel bad for a second. I wish I could go back and tell myself with Talon to relax more about that issue. Anyway, Yes, the recovery is longer with a CS but not impossible. Birthing babies is no picnic no matter the method they enter the world. This is the part of pregnancy where you have to let go of the perfect movie birth-- Your water breaks gushes out of you in the middle of canned food aisle, you rush to the hospital, you labor for a few hours, then voila baby is here.

Your body is NOT failing you. You are NOT failing your baby if you have a c section. Women in our situation died years ago because they didn't have the medicines we have now. Bottom line, go with your intuition. Let it be what it will be. The tighter you hold on to an idea that starts going in a different direction, the more out of control you'll feel. Breathe, do what you can, and then see how it plays out. It's going to work out and you have to be okay with whichever way it goes.

tyguy72 said...

This situation is killer! I'm so sorry. Here are my thoughts:
People can and do deliver big babies, even petite women. I have a friend - 5'2", little little girl, who delivered a 9.5 pound baby vaginally. Don't let the size intimidate you. But I'll admit that I don't know how the diabetes factors in though.

If it was me, I would want to know if any of your doctors have had experience with a shoulder dystocia before and what their thoughts are. Did they save or lose the baby? If they saved it, and thought they could do so again, I would stick with induction, with medication, so if anything goes wrong you can go right in for a c-section. If noone in the practice had any good experiences, I would definitely go with a c-section.

It's an impossible choice, I hope you can find an answer that brings you peace!

Anonymous said...

I've delivered 3 babies vaginally - #1 was 8 pounds, #2 was 10 pounds 6 oz. and #3 was 8 pounds 15 oz. All babies were perfectly normal, healthy babies with no problems delivering. None of my doctors (different ones with each baby) ever suggested a c-section. Why are they recommending that?

Gina said...

With my first baby, I labored for 14 hours before ending up in an OR for an emergency csection because my daughter's heart rate would plummet with every contraction. It turned out that her cord was around her neck, and when a contraction happened it would tighten around her neck. I am so, so, so grateful that the doctor on call (my regular doctor was out of town) suggested that a csection would be the best route. After my daughter's birth, someone made the insensitive comment that I was lucky that I didn't have to do any of the work but I still got a baby. Uhhhh...14 hours of labor wasn't a day in the spa, thanks. After that comment, I always felt like I had somehow failed...myself? I guess? I always felt a little ashamed that I had to have a csection.

When it came time to deliver my second baby (who was also delivered csection because I went too far past my due date without any progression whatsoever and it was getting too risky to wait), I came to the realization (largely due to a pep-talk from my new-at-the-time OB) that it didn't matter HOW my babies were born, it mattered that they WERE born. That they were born, they were healthy, they were safe. I'm pregnant with my third child right now and I will have a third csection. People still make harsh comments to me about it, but whatever. There is no "right" way to have a baby, other than to get them here safe and healthy. If you end up needing a csection, DO NOT let anyone make you feel like you failed, or that you cheated, or that you didn't deliver a baby. Because they're wrong. You carried a beautiful baby to term, and it doesn't matter how it is delivered.

As far as the recovery from a csection goes, I won't lie, recovery sucks, but it's survivable as long as you stay on top of pain meds/management. If anything, you get bonus snuggle time with your sweet baby because you can't do much else. ;)

Finally, in my experience, milk supply was not an issue after either of the two sections I have had - ESPECIALLY the first one. Holy oversupply, Batman! I was able to nurse both of my first two babies for 18 months.

Good luck deciding which route to take. Either way, you get a baby at the end, so the end is the same! :)

P.S. This is a long comment. Haha.

Alisha Blair said...

April I had 4 c sections and also nursed all my babies for over 12 months minimum with no problems. Don't read into the fears or deliveries others have had. I went in expecting full vaginal birth and had to have c section because my son was almost 9 lbs big baby also. I never felt like less of a woman I mean I birthed a baby no matter what and just because it doesn't come out vaginally doesn't mean anything!! You grew a healthy baby inside of you, and if anyone tells you different send them my way!!! my milk supply was great, you nurse instantly like you would a vaginal birth, you have more pain after but it's manageable if you have great help and a plan, I was sore and it was painful but it all is worth it for healthy baby!! I was scared to death of a c section I could have tried a v bac for my next kiddos but c section was my option and my dr and my choice!! Do what's best for you and baby trust your gut and your own instinct!! No one knows their body or baby as well as you do forget what other fears you hear!!! Just have a plan but be open for change and things change from moment to moment be open and trust your dr and your own instinct!! Sending positive vibes!!!

Deniz said...

Hon, for what it's worth - my two-penn'orth.

You made this baby, you are growing this baby, you are carrying this baby. You are this baby's precious mother - however the actual birth process happens. Never allow yourself to think for a moment that you are, or could be, in any way 'less'.

You will still have that beautiful skin on skin experience with your baby, even if you choose c-section.

As to recovery times, not so sure. Having seen how long it took for my neice to recovery after a very long and hard (assisted) vaginal delivery, she probably would have got through it faster and with less discomfort afterwards if she'd had a c-section.

But, it's your choice. Choose what feels safest and best for you and for your baby if you can, and try to make your peace with your decision.

Emily Foley said...

Oh April this is so hard! I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I wish I had an answer for you but you know of course that we can't decide for you. I never had a C-section but I know tons of women who have and ended up loving it. My friend Emilie had C-sections with her last 2 babies and she loved it so much! Her recovery wasn't too bad either time, plus it's kind of nice to know exactly when and how the baby is getting here. Mostly I just pray that you and Chris will be able to make a decision you feel good about...and that the baby will come early so you don't have to make a decision at all. :) I'm so sorry April!

Also, I never did skin to skin contact with my babies right away and I nursed all 3 babies with no problems, so that part isn't necessary to a healthy nursing experience. Just so you know. Love you!