Monday, February 17, 2014

What It's Like

washed and folded clothes are put away!
My thoughts lately have been consumed with this pregnancy and baby.  I’m definitely occupied with all things baby and what it’s like to be pregnant.  I remember a specific conversation I had with my friend Sarah back when she was pregnant with her first son Talon.  We had gone out to dinner and I asked her: “What is it like to be pregnant?”  This was before I had met Chris, and before I knew I would get married, and get pregnant myself.  I wanted to know all of the intimate details of pregnancy, and the feeling of growing a baby, because at that time I really didn’t think I would ever have firsthand experience.  Unfortunately I don’t remember Sarah’s response to the question, but that makes me ask myself the question: What is it like to be pregnant?  I really started thinking about it when Chris recently asked me what it feels like when the baby kicks.  It’s weird because I almost feel bad, that I get to spend all of this time with the baby, because I see how Chris treasures “playing” with the baby and feeling the baby move.  I told him that I feel bad when I don’t go and feel it when it moves in the middle of the night, that I feel like I’m ignoring it, but I’m too asleep to give it any attention, even though I know it’s awake.  Plus I know the time will soon come, when ignoring it won’t be an option. 
So here is my response, about what it’s like to be pregnant.
The most unexpected part about being pregnant is being worried all the time.  I’ve heard this gets a little easier with the more pregnancies you have, but I didn’t expect to be so worried.  I suppose it is to be expected as a First Time Mom, but now that I am pregnant, I just want the baby to be ok.  It definitely isn’t as bad now that I can feel baby move, and whenever I question babies activity the baby seems to give me a little movement letting me know that everything is ok.  Plus, all of the doctor’s appointments.  Because of my pre-diabetic status, I’m going to a doctor every other week, which includes a monthly ultrasound.  Throughout the pregnancy baby has had a strong heart rate, and the specialists is very happy with how babies heart and brain looks.  So truly I have nothing to be worried about, but that’s easier said than done.  Even more worrisome, is I know that the worrying will just get worse once Baby Sweat is born!
Now the question of what it feels like to feel the baby move.  I love this feeling.  Who knows if I’ll feel this way in another 12 weeks when I’m about to pop, but for right now it’s one of the things I enjoy the most.  Sometimes I just want to stare down at my stomach to see if I can catch some movement, but then I feel weird just starting at my stomach.  When I do catch a glimpse of the baby move, I immediately giggle.  Seeing it move is a completely different sensation compared to either feeling it move from the inside or outside.  I often wonder what baby is doing in there.  When Chris asked what it feels like the only response I could come up with was “It feels like exactly how you imagine it would feel like.”  I don’t really feel like that is much of an answer, because even before I was pregnant and before I could feel baby move, I really didn’t know what feeling I was expecting.  So to say it feels like how I imagined it to be isn’t really an answer.  Now that baby is stronger and bigger, I’m feeling different types of movement.  Sometimes it’s like a wave that moves all across my belly, other times it’s a quick jab, or sometimes it’s like a vibration and it tickles me.  Baby doesn’t like it when my stomach is either pushed up against my desk, or pushed against the counter if I’m doing dishes, and baby makes that known with some quick movements telling me “Hey give me some space!”  Like it knows something is crowding its personal area! 
Compared to what I’ve heard from other pregnancies I’ve really enjoyed being pregnant.  Overall I don’t have any big issues with it.  My worst complaint thus far is the exhaustion I felt in my first trimester.  Which out of all of the symptoms you can have, exhaustion is pretty mild.  For that I feel truly blessed.  I do really hate testing my blood sugars and pricking myself 4 times a day, especially when I prick myself and don’t get enough blood, and I have to prick myself again.  I’m also frustrated with the fact that up until just recently every time I went to the doctor they wouldn’t look at my numbers.  I definitely feel like the regular doctor isn’t really working with the specialist doctor and vice versa.  It’s unfortunate, but I figure eventually we’ll all have to get on the same page, because eventually I’ll be having a baby.  Right now my “high risk complication” doesn’t really seem to be too big of an issue, and for that I’m grateful. 
I enter my 3rd trimester on Saturday, and I can’t believe it.  I’m anxious to find out what’s to come, and I’m already wondering what baby will look like.  I’m fearful to categorize this pregnancy as “easy” but that’s how I feel thus far.  And I hope and pray the next 12 weeks are “easy” like the past 28 weeks.

2 comments:

Emily Foley said...

I loved feeling Isaac move in my tummy. Dave got so sick of me telling him to feel it but it was so amazing to me! By the time I was in the third trimester with Zoe I was begging her to stop moving so I could get some sleep. I was so sick of it! Also, a few months ago there were several days in a row when I felt a movement exactly like a baby kicking in my stomach. It went on for days until I finally took a pregnancy test because I was positive I was pregnant. I wasn't but I still wonder what it was that made it feel like I was! It was crazy!

I'm so glad you've had a good pregnancy.

Summer said...

Whats amazing to me was after TJ was born, I'd watch him move and know exactly how that felt when he was inside me. Like when he'd startle at loud noises or kick suddenly...

I have 'ghost baby' in my tummy. I'm pretty sure it's normal digestion/gas, but sometimes I go "aw, the baby kicked!" then remember there is no baby in there anymore. It's weird.