Monday, October 20, 2014

the other thing


 The "thing" that lives with me
I have known this “thing” existed for over three and a half years, but truly have only lived with it for a little under two. This “thing” is something that worries me, keeps me up at night, and makes me wonder if I am going to be okay. It is also the greatest “thing” I have ever lived with.
In November, 2012 shortly after a wedding, my wedding something happened that caused this “thing” to come back with a vengeance. A car accident woke the “thing” up. Roughly a year and a half into me living with the “thing” that I knew, I finally got to say hello.  It was the scariest most awkward introduction you could ever imagine. It was so scary that I cried and cried and never wanted to meet this “thing” again. I was so mad that I was forced to meet this “thing”. It had been on vacation for three years, why did it have to come back now?
Ever since I was introduced to this “thing” it won’t go away. It’s like you’re in laws.  It’s great when they visit but no one wants them to stay…It comes and goes as it pleases. It shows up once a month or sometimes three times a week, completely unannounced, with no regard for your privacy.  At first when this “thing” decided to live with me I wanted to change my way of living and how I planned my day around if it would show up. I soon learned that you can’t wait around for something to ruin your day so I decided to live my life, as my life. I take the “thing” with me because I know it’s going to show up any way so why not just plan to have fun with it. I’ve realized that makes things much easier for me.
This week, the “thing” is going to the hospital to be studied again. To be controlled, removed, reduced, ect…This is a week with mixed emotions, you pray for the best while expecting the worst.  No matter the outcome with this “thing” I am so glad to have been part of this journey. It has given me the opportunity to overcome fears and believe that things always happen for a reason. This “thing” has also shown me what true love is like, I mean how could you truly love something that you hate?
This “thing” Is Epileptic Seizures
It lives with my husband
He lives with me…

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The above was written by Chris.  I went to him last week to ask if I could write a post about his epilepsy.  I'm obviously very open on my blog, but this wasn't my story to tell.  I wrote a post, and in response he wrote the above.  It's his interpretation on his epilepsy through my eyes.  
He told this story simply as a fun way to let people know he has epilepsy, not to ask for sympathy. This is something that lives with him, lives with us.  I specifically wanted to share this so that I could ask for prayers and happy thoughts as we enter into what will be a hard, difficult, and emotional week. 
For the most part I've dealt with Chris' epilepsy by myself.  It feels good to let it out, and if anything it opened up an even bigger line of communication with my husband, and for that I'm grateful.  I pray nightly that God will take away Chris' seizures, and I feel He has opened this door to help us onto a journey so Chris is back to being seizure free.


1 comment:

Emily Foley said...

Wow, that is a big burden to live with! I had no idea. Doesn't that mean he can't drive? How do you manage that?! I will definitely pray that you can get it all figured out so he can be seizure free. good luck Sweats!