my journey

i had dinner with my dear friend Sarah last night. she asked me, "so where is April in her 'April Journey?'" good question Sarah! lately i've really struggled with this question and answer. i think about it often. i do feel mentally prepared to lose weight again, unfortunately i'm just not doing anything about it. mainly because i'm happy. i love my life right now. i've thought about started strictly on slimgenics again, and my life when i started that program last March. if you compare my life to last March to what it is now...there are some major differences. my point is this, i don't see myself doing slimgenics in this new life. but i think that i will try it, because i know it works. i'm ready. i need to GO.
over the holidays i felt as though i was gaining weight. then i got sick. when i went to the doctor for the first time i was 100% expecting the scale to be in the 180's, and me to feel just horrible about gaining so much weight. i'm not too sure why it is that i felt this way probably because i figure the scale goes up more than it seems to go down, but all of my clothes still fit. i suppose we just set ourselves up for failure. well i was pleasantly surprised when the scale read 179...a 4 pound gain from my lowest weight, in October of 175. "not bad" i said to myself. then a week and a half later i went to the doctor again. this time i thought for sure i would be in the 180's. the scale read 176...i was SO happy about that. to see the scale go down...it felt good. good like "i want to keep going good..." i want to continue to see the scale go down. get below 175...go back into uncharted territory. i have no idea what i am right now. that visit to the doctor was almost 3 weeks ago...and realizing that i wish i was watching my diet because i could easily be 6 pounds down...i could be 170.
lets get back to basics. where is April in her journey? the simply answer is: I'm still in it. I haven't given up. lately i've had a few realizations and updates that i need to share, because this is my journey. because the answer isn't as simple as that. and soon i'll share the more complicated answer.

strictly strength 60min

it's cold

denver tonight

have you heard about the cold wave that is going on in 30 states right now? if not, let me clue you in. it is in fact pretty simple to explain. it's cold outside. like bitterly cold. stay inside cold. 48 hours of subzero temperatures cold. now imagine this. on friday i left work to get a salad for lunch and people were eating outside because it was in the high 60's. the weekend was beautiful in town and in the high country, then on monday things turned bitterly cold. combine the cold with snow and i was not a happy camper.
tuesday was the worse of it. our high on tuesday was -1*. with the windchill majority of the day yesterday denver felt like -30*. the overnight low not even taking in consideration the windchill was -20*. today i think out high was 8*. i actually left the house today to go to the gym and thankfully the roads are all cleared, but it is still so cold.
tomorrow and friday we are suppose to heat up into the 30's then the 40's. i'm looking forward to that. i can't even check my mail because it's frozen shut.
i'm super lucky because i've been able to work from home. with my commute of taking the bus and walking to work, i just didn't want to be outside. my boss was ok with me working from home so i stayed home.
i'll be happy when the temperature gets above freezing!

elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min

fun in the snow!

this past weekend i experienced my own little winter wonderland in Breckenridge, CO! i had never been to a ski town in the winter time. it was me plus 16 of my closest friends, and their kids...15 in total, all under the age of 7! we stayed the night in a 4 story condo with lots of bedrooms, 2 living areas, 2 kitchens, 1 hot tub, made for one very memorable night!

the town was beautiful
exactly what you would think a winter wonderland would be

michelle flew in from ABQ to be my "date"
bestest friends

aidan and i ~ isn't he the cutest!?

one of the main reason's for the trip was to attend the Breckenridge Ice Sculpture Festival. april and bobby have gone for the past few years, and have made their own little family tradition. this year it was april's fabulous idea to invite all of her friends along and make it an overnight event!

all of the ice sculptures were amazing
pictures do not do them justice

after walking around the ice sculptures we headed to a hill for some classic sledding with the kiddos.

i myself was too chicken to take a ride on the sled.
but everyone else had a blast!

all of the kiddos minus one that was taking a turn down the hill
zack, kaison, khyler, olivia, bella, brooklyn, lexi, lilly, aidan, hunter, grace
max, teegan, avery (not pictured addison)

the condo was perfect for all of us. so beautiful. it was a mix of organized chaos! feeding 15 kids was just an adventure by itself.

the living area

michelle, myhisha, me, denise, justine, brandi, and christina

then we played texas hold 'em with gummy bears as our playing chips!

bobby, me, charlie

me, michelle, chrisitna, denise, myhisha, annabelle

kortny and i

christina and i on the dance floor - what was the kitchen area!

me, denise, justine, and brandi

annabelle and i

here's who was there:
michelle and i
april and bobby - zack and aidan
annabelle and daniel - addison and teegan
christina and luke - grace and max
brandi and kevin - hunter, avery, and brooklyn
justine and charlie - olivia and bella
kortny and steven - kaison and khyler
denise - lexi and lilly
antonio and myhisha

we left early saturday morning. michelle and i drove up with april and bobby. we did hit the snow traffic heading up and what is normally a 1.5 hour drive took 3 hours. once arrived in town we had lunch. april did all the planning and organizing. she designated a dinner crew for saturday night and a breakfast crew for sunday morning. we had so much food! ...and drink. oh the drink. i told myself i wouldn't drink that much because i drank so much last friday celebrating my birthday, but with the atmosphere and fun of friends, i ended up drinking a lot. which you know, is ok. i had so much fun! playing games, dancing around, taking a dip in the hot tub, talking with the kiddos. it was great to be surrounded by such good quality people. even better was the weather. the sun was out, temps were in the high 30's, and no wind! just about perfect. sunday morning we had breakfast and were on the road by 9:30am. thankfully the ride home was a lot easier than the ride up. we made it back into denver in 1 hour! once michelle and i got home we got some food then took a nice long nap. we had dinner at jill's, and overall it was a great weekend. it was fabulous to see michelle and have our own little adventure, plus she got to meet a lot of my friends!
everything perfect.

cardio kickboxing 60min

all kinds of crazy

i went to my first
colorado mammoth game
on saturday.
it was really loud
and
really fun!

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i was back in
STRIKE!
tonight.
and it felt gooood!
POWer!

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....hence the return of
random
thought
thursday!
finally.

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my cousin Nikki
is the anonymous
gift giver!
she's the best.
thanks Nikki!

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i have a weird pet peeve at the gym.
it drives me crazy when people
don't end their workouts
in either a 0 or a 5.
i'll see someone in front of me
on the treadmill,
and they do 36 minutes.
why 36 minutes?
if you're gonna do
36,
shouldn't you just do 40?
drives me crazy.

********

i'm thinking a
giveaway
is in the works.
stay tuned.

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yesterday
and today
were curly
hair days.

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if you want to help out a
family
in need
click here.

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i cried at work today.
twice.
once because i was sad.
again because i was happy.
it's been
one
of
those
days.

********

i wish that i could
watch myself type.
i'm a super fast
and good typer.

********

STRIKE! 60min

being uncomfortable

this is what being uncomfortable looks like = happiness

this is what being comfortable looks like = unhappy (i hid it well)

I’ve come to the conclusion that life is better when you are uncomfortable. That when you get comfortable things stay the same, you stop learning, growing, and changing. You become fat. It is usually when you stay comfortable for too long you get frustrated because things that you want to change, aren’t changing. And isn’t that what life is all about? Expect the unexpected. You could apply this to just about any aspect of life. For today’s post, I’m going to speak specifically in regards to weight loss.

Losing weight isn’t easy. If it were I wouldn’t still be 20+ pounds overweight, and it wouldn’t had taken me 2 years to lose 90 pounds. Everything that I’ve done to lose weight I was uncomfortable doing. Especially at the beginning.

Working out? Uncomfortable. Going to the gym, looking at all of these thin people. Uncomfortable. Then actually moving. All if it, uncomfortable. Before doing group fitness classes I was an elliptical junkie. That’s all I would do. I figured that was the safest thing to do. Then I started my venture into the studios and into group fitness. First with Dance Jam, Soul Grooves, etc…I started out in the back of the class, always. I was so uncomfortable. But I did it. I then slowly began moving to the front of the class. Again, uncomfortable.

Then I started changing my food. Now this was hard. Not eating what it is that I would normally eat. Uncomfortable. Saying “No” to foods I would normally eat. Talk about being uncomfortable. I hate watching what I eat. Hate it. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it is to walk away from sweets!

Moving on to STRIKE! and Total Conditioning. Uncomfortable, and double uncomfortable. Doing the U-DO. I pretty much had my very own temper tantrum leading up to that, and during the whole freakin’ thing because I knew I would be uncomfortable, and because I was so uncomfortable.

I am watching this season of “The Biggest Loser” and listening to guy who is an Olympic gold medalist talk about this journey from a world class athlete to being a contestant on the Biggest Loser because he is so overweight. This man obviously knows what it is like to be fit, he knows the hard work it creates to have those muscles. So why did he all let it go? He got comfortable.

Why did I get so overweight? I got comfortable. I didn’t move. I didn’t care. I didn’t know…I chose not to really see what it is that I looked like. I had no clue what all that extra fat around my organs was truly doing to my body. Why? Because I didn’t want to know. Because I knew that if I was truly honest with myself I would be disgusted. I would kick myself for not changing. For not saving my life. Why do you think that all of those contestants on TBL are so upset when the learn their “inside” age. Because they are learning the truth of what has been right in front of them all along. They learn that their home, their body is seriously killing them.

To be healthy and fit you have to be uncomfortable. I see my weightlifter friend Bobby do chest presses with a 110 pound barbell in each of his hands. Do you think that is comfortable?! F-ing NO! Is it crazy?!, yes…but that is whole other post for a different day!

Do I want to do this Warrior Dash that my friends have been asking me to do? No. Will I do it? Yes. Will it make me uncomfortable? Absolutely. Am I more comfortable now in the gym than what I used to be? Yes. Does that mean I don’t find things to push myself that will make me uncomfortable? No. Do I hesitate in these things? Yes.

Will I go to the gym while I am sick, even though my doctor tells me not too. Yes!, because that is the uncomfortable thing to do.

I think we sometimes pretend that life is easy. But we all know the brutal truth. Life is hard.

Why be comfortable putting yourself into an early grave just to lay there…literally. Dead. Unmoving.

Move to the front of the class. Dance a fool. Try the heavier weight. Don’t eat that piece of cake.

Now I just need to learn to take my own advice!

barbell strength 60min

birthday picture overload!

and now for your viewing pleasure the adventure that was friday night!!!
the night started at vesta dipping grill for my birthday dinner.

sara and scott

april and bobby

me, bobby, and sarah

birthday princess

after dinner we headed to sing sing...

R and i

julie, katherine, cathy, and i

blowing out the candle on the birthday cake!...the tres leche birthday cake.

sarah, sara, me, chris, scott, and bobby

decorated with hats, ribbon, and signs!

we danced!

gotta get a pic with the boys!
charlie, me, kevin
daniel, bobby, and antonio

justine, annabelle, and i

me, bobby, sarah, and sara

charlie, justine
athena, myhisha, antonio, christina, daniel, april, annabelle, kortny, kevin, scott, sara
athena's sister, sarah, bobby, brandi, cathy, katherine, me, julie, R, jill, and kevin

katherine and i

scott and sara

right before we were all set to leave i got called up on stage
and sung to!
so much fun.

then off to dance dance dance like it's the last last night...at the Tavern!

justine and i

we had a few shots...
jill and i

julie and i

april and i

annabelle and i

the whole evening was a blast! this was definitely a birthday celebration to remember! i have some of the best friends a girl could ask for.

zumba 60min

looking back

all of my friends = love!

i had an emotional week. but overall it was a very very good week, and that is what i want to take away from it.
wednesday i turned 31. i'm officially in my 30's. crazy. my life is nothing that i thought it would be at 31, and it may never be. but what my life is, i love. i'm embracing it, and am loving feeling so truly blessed with everything else that i have control over.
my actual birth day was ok. it started out great. i felt so loved with all the facebook messages, balloon flowers from april at work, cards from co-workers, and lunch with my boss. good day. i planned nothing for the evening, thinking i would see R and because i planned the actual birthday dinner and celebration for friday night. the commute home was long as a snow storm came in, so i decided the gym was out. after texting R he told me he had a long day, and i was in the for the night spending my 31st birthday all by myself. after spending my 29th birthday alone two years ago, i told myself i never wanted to do that again. which is why i did all of the work to make sure i wasn't alone on my 30th birthday.
now i know that this sounds dramatic, but crying and being alone wednesday night was heartbreaking for me. i felt as though i had done all of this work, made all of this progress just to end up exactly where i didn't want to be, right where i started. i had this thought of "somethings just never change." ...even after all of this change.
i came to the conclusion that it sucks having a birthday during the week.
friday was the true celebration. i had dinner with R, april, bobby, sara, scott, and sarah at vesta dipping grill. being with a date and some great friends for my birthday dinner made me feel so special. we had a great time, before heading over to sing sing where some 20+ other friends were waiting for me! talk about feeling loved. thinking about it i have tears in my eyes. all of these people here for me. it was great. we had a whole section all to ourselves decorated with birthday hats, ribbon, and "happy birthday april" signs. plus, a tres leche birthday cake that april brought from the market! we spent a couple of hours at sing sing drinking and enjoying the entertainment. i even got called up on stage and sung to! so fun, and little bit embarrassing. after sing sing the group and i made our way to the tavern for some fun on the dance floor. it was fabulous. dancing around with all of my friends, singing and just having fun. unfortunately R isn't much of a dancer, but i did finally drag him out at the ending of the evening.
with a depressing night on wednesday followed by so much fun, excitement, love, and joy on friday i spent a lot of time looking back on my life over the past year. last year at this time, i was about mid-journey. i definitely wasn't as depressed as i had been, but i knew i still had a long way to go. the main difference between this year and last year is the circle of friends that i now have. i have gained so much by their presence in my life. i have gained a life and so many friendships. true friendships. and that feels good. these are things i didn't have here in denver at this time last year. i hope that i get to celebrate many birthdays with these friends in the future!
more pictures coming soon!

50/50 60min