another layer

this whole process is about shedding some skin...literally. losing part of you. getting rid of the waste. searching for what could be underneath. looking for and finding the healthier, fitter you, that you always thought was there. becoming someone in reality that you've only ever thought of in a dream. slowly my dream is coming true...

all of us have that physical thing that we like about ourselves. something that we can say we like. for me that thing has always been my hair. my hair has always been the thing that i like. the thing i was comfortable getting complimented on, that i knew was pretty. i feel like i've been growing my hair out since my mom went to get my hair cut in the 5th grade, and i got a horrible, short, feathered cut. i hated it. i've dreaded any big change to my hair since then. once i learned to actually style my hair, and could be versatile with it by going straight or curly i grew to really love my hair. my hair became my comfort, what i could hide behind as my face got fatter and fatter.
i always thought about doing a change. something drastic, just because. i thought about doing it on my last milestone birthday of turning 30, but decided against it. i've kept the thought in the back of my head as i've been on my weight loss journey. cutting my hair off once i reached my goal.
i'm not yet at my goal, but opportunity knocks, you gotta take it....

i did it!
chopped off my hair and got bangs!

i started going to mark pardo's salon in albuquerque when i was in high school. and started going to meredith when i was 17 or 18. i instantly loved her. the way she does a cut and color is absolutely amazing. then at 22 i moved to denver. the first couple of years i lived here, i went home often. for the most part i was able to keep meredith as my "main" hair stylist. then her and her hubby moved to arizona. needless to say, i have yet to find someone here in denver that i love and would trust to do a big drastic change to my hair. then a few years ago meredith moved back to NM. i'm pretty sure that the last time she did my hair it was either christmas of '08 or christmas '09. the cut and color was $200+...i was saddened that as much as i love her talent i could no longer afford her.
then as i'm walking out of the terminal at the albuquerque airport this past christmas i see meredith.
me: "meredith?" she looks at me....last she saw me i was 90 pounds heavier. "april madrid. you used to do my hair. how are you?"
meredith: "good. you look great."
me: "thanks. where did you fly in from?"
meredith: "denver. i moved there in june."
as you can imagine the rest is history. she told me which salon she now works at, which happens to be right across the street from where i catch the bus to go home from work, and because she is new and growing a client base her haircuts are only $35! plus, just to add to the story, her husband works for qwest, and we work in the same building!

not too sure how much i cut off, but it was a lot.

jill & i out to dinner

the last haircut i got was back in the middle of november. so when i ran into meredith around the holidays i knew it wouldn't be until february or march until i would go see her, and had been thinking about it since our chance encounter at the albuquerque airport.
i knew this was my chance for a change. why not do another change with everything else going on around me changing?! my confidence is slowly growing, and i no longer feel the need to have to hide behind my hair.
last time i had bangs i was 17, and my face was a lot more rounder than what it is now. last time i had short hair like this...who knows?! ...now i realize to most, that my hair wouldn't be described as "short" but rather "shoulder-length" but to me it is short, so i'm callin' short! i'm still getting used to it, and i'm looking forward to playing with it this weekend.
although it may defeat the purpose, but i can tell you right now that i'm already in the state-of-mind that i'm growing it back out long. because really isn't that why we cut in the first place?, just to grow it back? i don't know about you, but that is why i cut it!
i've had good friends who i believe would be truthful with me if it did look bad, tell me that it looks good, and that of course does make me happy. they (as am i) are just looking at another layer peeled back from me as i (and they) continue to get to know who is the new, true me.

elliptical 30min
treadmill 30min